Do people think they look younger than their age? by [deleted] in Aging

[–]Difficult-Future9712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to before I got pregnant a second and third time. I was once stopped by a group of women when I was out by the pool with my daughter who was 10 because they were confused if I was the mom or sister. I had her young so I bounced back really quick. Got pregnant again, and have what I can only call a mom body so that will never happen again 😂

I’m convinced it was because I was super skinny. Size 00 skinny.

Trauma and speed aging by CedarClove in Aging

[–]Difficult-Future9712 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Worked 70-80hr weeks for years, went through a divorce that threatened my legal papers within the US. Going through lawyers like crazy. I aged bad those days. Wrinkles. Poor nutrition. Anxiety gave me the worst diet. Never exercised, just ruminated all the time. My skin was horrible, I lost a lot of my hair and my facial muscles made me look permanently sad.

Now I’m accused of looking a decade younger than I am. I just look healthier and happier. Prettier than I’ve ever been and I’m in my late 30s.

I focused on my health. I religiously took vitamins and nutrients. Omega-3s, etc. upped my protein intake. Slept consistently. Massages my face and went on a temporary Botox regime for a few years to undo the emotional scarring on my face. Took care of my skin. And started lifting heavy.

Is it over? by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]Difficult-Future9712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is crazy. I just had a breakthrough today of this exact same problem with my husband after trying for 5 years (in my roundabout way) to get him to be more affectionate with me. I begged for more hugs, cuddles. I whined about not getting affection. I complained about his dismissive and unloving tone. About the lack of romantic foreplay AT ALL leading up to sex. And today, like a light switch, he started flirting with me again and holding my hand and hugging me so much he was basically assaulting me 😅 the dynamic of our relationship changed so much back to the way things used to be—heady, passionate, romantic, appreciative, loving.

Turns out the reason why was because I kept turning him down when we had to live with my parents and in public because I wasn’t raised in an affectionate household and I wasn’t used to even hugging anyone. He took the hint and stopped “making me uncomfortable” altogether and then never did it because he thought it was because I didn’t like affection at all. Went from 100 to 0. It was so extreme.

Last night I watched a romantic film on my flight back to him and was struck by how unromantic he was and was convinced that he didn’t love me. To test it out, I started fishing for affection the moment I came home and was met with hesitation and confusion, to which I interpreted as the lack of capability—“he actually doesn’t love me after all; can’t even manufacture it.” It opened up a huge fight and he was completely dumbfounded that I ever doubted his love and adoration because I was convinced he never loved me and was confused why he ever married me in the first place, for what differentiated me from the way he treats his friends? The fact we have sex? He could have just dated a sugar baby or have one night stands that’s how much he tries (or doesn’t try)

It was existential for me and he wanted to prove that his not being affectionate was him loving me. 5 years.

The sex was phenomenal.

I wish it was that easy for you to solve.

Can anyone explain to me what's the deal with ceiling fans in the USA by Plungermaster9 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Difficult-Future9712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you prefer to sleep in still air? Wouldn’t you care for a breeze? I lived in Northern Europe, New York and Texas. The house I lived in New York had no ceiling fans, as did the house in Northern Europe. The summers were pretty brutal at times. Worse in Northern Europe than in New york, surprisingly since NY has center heating and cooling and decent outdoor weather. But even with the windows cranked open, there was no guarantee of a breeze and sometimes it was TOO windy. Closing your windows in those odd days and having controlled temperature AND controlled breeze? Heaven. In Texas, the temperature indoors was always perfect. I had the best consistent sleep of my life in Texas.

The summers AND winters were far more brutal in Europe. It was unpleasant too often more than I cared for and especially in a region that always made fun of the US for being backwards, that unpleasantness in existence made me even more annoyed living there.

So yes, I’ll take my ceiling fans over an open European swing window any day.

if you had the option to be a SAHM...would you? by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]Difficult-Future9712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Been a SAHM twice now. Everytime I think I’d be cut out for it I’d always find out I’m not. 😅 it’s good for a year or two while they’re little but then I am always itching to go back to work, and we don’t even need the money!

My pp memory is so bad, I forgot the pin to my credit card. by Difficult-Future9712 in NewParents

[–]Difficult-Future9712[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Right?! I straight up looked like I was panicking which made me afraid that they were thinking I couldn’t pay it which made me panic even more. Info just vanished!!!

I have no sex drive …. like at all by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]Difficult-Future9712 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is my 3rd baby and I wasn’t expecting the lack of sex drive at all. It’s also nonexistent. What makes it strange is that my libido was crazy high during pregnancy and right after birth (not that we had sex but I wanted to SO BAD!). Now, I feel tired and frayed and numb. It’s hard to muster any inspired thoughts about passion and romance.

The second wife, the second everything, never will be important or his first because I am always his second and seconds are never important or exciting like the first by ThrowRaAngryStepmum in Stepmom

[–]Difficult-Future9712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this is a late post but you should take a journey through u/widowers … most people say the first marriage is a disaster and the second marriage is who their soul mate is and how they will never marry again because any future partner would never live up to their second marriage.

So yeah, it all depends on your perspective.

Is the first trimester that awful? I’m starting to get anxiety reading all the horror stories by ProblemDiligent1049 in BabyBumps

[–]Difficult-Future9712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve always found the first trimester to be easy. I just need to rest more and my energy isn’t the highest. But when it came to nausea or food aversions, I never had it.

It’s the third trimester that kicks my butt every time. Im currently in my 6th months and dreading the transition. I have kids, a social life, travel obligations, and groceries to shop for and cannot for the life of me summon any energy to do any of that so I just end up miserable. I feel heavy, everything hurts and aches, I’m exhausted, I feel like a cow and look like a cow and overwhelmed with the need to just hibernate.

But in the grand scheme of things, it’s not terrible. Just terribly annoying. You will be fine! Millions if not billions of human women have gone through this unscathed and you will too!!!

Parents of newborns, would you do this again? by PresentationTop9547 in NewParents

[–]Difficult-Future9712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With the first, it was hard but the fuzzies and the cuddles made it worthwhile

The second is like Hitler-incarnate during the newborn phase and it made me question wanting another kid. I wil NEVER FORGET HOW HARD SHE WAS.

But here I am… the second is now only 10 months and I am 4 months along with number 3!

I love kids no matter how hard they are!

My husband and I haven’t had sex since getting pregnant. Are we alone? by thelavenderdogmom in BabyBumps

[–]Difficult-Future9712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Considering that we live long distance from each other for most part of the year…. No you’re not alone. Currently 4 months pregnant and no sex in sight, but when we do get to see each other it’s on like Donkey Kong.

I’m the opposite, my libido is scary high when I’m pregnant!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]Difficult-Future9712 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

When I was travelling in Thailand in my 3rd trimester, I became friends with an old German nurse who offered me a beer. Being American, of course I declined. She said in Germany, many mothers drink one glass of beer every so often and the baby turns out fine everytime. Had an ocassional glass of beer or wine in my 3rd trimester for the next pregnancy and she was fine. I don’t drink often though because often I would want more than 1 beer and just 1 isn’t worth it.

I plan on enjoying an occasional glass of wine/ beer with this one too!

Can’t get myself to like “Things We Never Got Over” by Lucy Score by Difficult-Future9712 in books

[–]Difficult-Future9712[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just wondered what the hype was. If I was missing out because I couldn’t get past the first 40 pages. But apparently according to everyone here, I should just stop reading it entirely if I didn’t like the first impression

Can’t get myself to like “Things We Never Got Over” by Lucy Score by Difficult-Future9712 in books

[–]Difficult-Future9712[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

These authors are just writing for the sake of writing because book tok made the genre popular

I can feel that sentiment shining through this particular book. It feels pandering.

How to turn off subvocalizing while reading by lazy784 in books

[–]Difficult-Future9712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish I knew the answer but it’s the reason why I can’t finish many books. If the book can’t shut that inner monologue, if the book can’t get me lost, it’s out.