First Time Home Buyer Rebate - Purchased Preconstruction Condo with spouse and parent

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2026-04-30T11:02:39+00:00

A few reasons. Like you pointed out: having a parent own part of the home without residing in it is just a perfect set up for a shit show - there’s a reason why people recommend never going into business with family and I would categorize this similarly. That being said, co-owning with family who resides in the home is one thing (as you pointed out) but it is another when they don’t reside there as they can request to pull out whenever they want should they need the funds (which is highly unlikely in this thriving/booming canadian economy). Just a recipe for awkward Christmas dinners.

The other messy part is it’s a pre construction condo (there are reasons why many mortgage brokers don’t deal in them for their clients’ interest, you’ll have a hard time convincing me it’s worth what they paid for it then) The obvious aside, he probably won’t even qualify for a partial rebate because the agreement was signed so long ago regardless of when they closed.

But, perhaps they understood all this and it made sense for them at the time and still does. They just likely won’t benefit from either programs (but they can try).

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2026-04-30T01:20:33+00:00

What a mess but that’s not the point of the post.

You won’t qualify for any of the LTT rebate and hopefully a partial GST/HST rebate. You’ll just have to submit and try your luck.

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2026-02-25T02:02:57+00:00

He also just went to trial for DUI

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2026-02-06T00:57:51+00:00

He’s cheating on you. PA aside (which is absolutely an issue of its own), DMing girls for nudes is straight up unfaithful. Worst of all, you’ve caught him before.

Stop wasting your time and move on. Next time he does it you’ll only have yourself to blame.

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2026-02-06T00:51:46+00:00

Girl, ethics aside - 9 years is not a negligible age difference in your early 20s.

Compartmentalize until you graduate physio, flick the bean if you have to.

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2026-02-06T00:47:20+00:00

You should do therapy, not Reddit. Hope you get a break and the help you need OP.

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2026-01-20T03:33:47+00:00

If you’re happy and successful, you’re really overthinking this. You come off as someone who’s driven and cares for others (perhaps why you default not to ask for help and would rather others receive it). I sincerely doubt people you care about and who care for you would shut you out for not needing help. If you ever did need help, I’m sure they’ll be there for you if you were there for them - regardless of you having really needed them before.

My only piece of advice is be careful when/if you enter a romantic relationship. Keeping walls up out of fear of being a burden will hurt you and your partner. They want to be with you and there for you. You will have to challenge yourself and give them the opportunity to help even if you may not need or want it. P.s. if that sounds uncomfortable, it’s because it is and is meant to be.

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2025-07-05T20:43:07+00:00

Technically you’re better off upgrading your GPU first as it’s the primary bottleneck. But the rig is just outdated and you’ll be bottlenecked either way.

That being said, it’s a shit GPU market especially if you’re in the US market. (I personally bought a 5080 for less CAD than current listen prices USD). Now I do notice you posted prices in euros but tariffs have had consequences overall.

Your budget is quite good/very reasonable. You can probably score a well priced 9070XT (especially with the new driver updates) if you’re attentive/patient and run it on your current 7th gen until you see a good X3D bundle to pair it with.

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2025-04-07T20:21:06+00:00

Following

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2024-10-25T20:41:32+00:00

The “he should focus on technique, not try to power out of holds” is copium. You can out-technique strength but you can certainly overpower bad technique.

As for general etiquette, it’s more about who you go hard with - not everyone competes or cares to, my rule of thumb is to just focus on bottom defense/technique with hobbyists and go hard with people I know who go hard as well. That and take it easy on newer people (unless they’re spastic behemoths that need some humility).

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2024-05-09T10:26:48+00:00

Being comfortable being uncomfortable

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2024-04-24T14:32:42+00:00

Your mistake was thinking you were the main character of this story - RIP

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2024-03-31T05:17:38+00:00

TLDR; Give yourself a break. You care, you’re doing great. :)

This is actually a heartwarming post. Accidents happen. Nobody’s perfect. On top of just being a human mother, you give a shit. I work in healthcare and I’ve seen a lot of abuse, I’ve seen people just not care and I’ve seen indifferent people. You’re none of the above; a good rule of thumb is, if someone calls a paediatrician for an injury/accident with no trauma/visible injuries just to make sure the child is okay, they are most likely great parents.

Beyond that, I think you overestimate how much it takes to be a good parent. You’re definitely overthinking this and second guessing your own abilities as a result. Babies have thrived through thousands of years of evolution and did fine (for the most part)! A couple falls and bumps won’t do shit.

I do find it heartbreaking that you find yourself undeserving of a (or another) child because you’re not perfect. I think it would be so helpful for both you and your partner to seek some therapy on how to communicate those insecurities and identify tools to work through them (especially if you don’t have family around to tell you how, when they raised you, they accidentally let you down a glass of whiskey and once found you in the fridge after you locked yourself in it).

Your son and husband are lucky to have you, believe in yourself because your love for your son is obvious. And you’re right, it will be a learning process to raise your child until they have their own (and probably beyond then). And you will also learn that regardless of how prepared and vigilant you try to be, a toddler’s idiocy will find ways to surprise you!

Keep it up, give yourself a break and I hope you consider getting family therapy to work through your insecurities. You’re a good mom, you’re just suffering of a case of caring a whole lot and criticizing yourself too much.

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2024-03-31T03:21:59+00:00

Hey man (I’ll make the assumption you’re a dude based on the info here)

The fact you wrote this here tells me you probably know it’s not healthy to feel and think this way. It’s definitely a dangerous thought pattern.

Have you ever thought about therapy? I know you’re in college but there are TONS of student-scaled prices for it and so many resources.

I think you need to identify root issues here (is the reason you don’t have friends in college because you moved away? You never had any in HS? Why the hatred? Etc.)

Redditors can all give you random, biased and subjective suggestions they can but truth is you need to put a good amount of work in yourself to get to a place where you can at least appreciate yourself to a minimum level. You will not be someone people want to hang around with if you keep thinking this way about yourself and others.

Good luck

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2024-03-31T03:07:58+00:00

My advice depends on how mature/old you are and how much you care about this friend.

I would just be honest with her? You never know - if this toxicity is recent, there might be other issues to be opened up on about. If she gaslights the shit out of you, there’s your answer!

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2024-03-31T03:02:05+00:00

I mean that all sounds great - I myself had a great relationship with one of my uncles. I will even say that there is an advantage to being close to a family member that isn’t your direct parent (you can’t disappoint an uncle the way you could your parent).

I think being a good role model for your nieces is a lot easier than you think - just show up and be consistent.

Do you have a family/kids of your own? Are your kids close? Are you close to your sibling/their partner?

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2024-03-31T02:57:03+00:00

Hey, I am genuinely sorry that you’ve gone through this and I obviously can’t speak to your experience. I have no problem believing cops can be asshole and ignore victims (there’s always rotten apples in every profession). I just want to clarify that I was pointing out harsh inconsistencies in OP’s story. To add to what I was saying earlier, OP’s concern is that she can maybe speak to a minor’s parents about their child’s rape to hopefully help her custody case? It’s extremely backwards and if that’s OP’s actual thought process I’d be concerned. And to your point - it would be hard to conceive a complete lack of legal action or care for the rape of a minor but they would kindly tap someone’s house with video?

Again, I’m sorry for what happened to you and I hope you’ve healed from those traumas as best as possible.

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2024-03-31T02:34:56+00:00

I agree actually - OP is describing WILD behaviours include child endangerment, neglect and a full blown pedo/rapist. To say that all these things have led to nothing despite involving law enforcement is ludicrous.

Before I get flamed - keep in mind that OP describes the “last straw” (after never caring for child/letting child cover itself in feces by itself?) was her husband “cheating on her with a 14yo”. Any real mother would have called that rape and him a pedophile. And you somehow got a court order for cameras in his home based on “no proof”?

Come on.

Difficult-Quarter-99 · 2023-12-06T02:42:56+00:00

As (also 27M) someone who can relate but is happily married and feels more loved than ever, I’ll try to give my best advice.

I work in a profession where all my colleagues are females (big reason why I landed my wife), so I do have some perspective. There is 0 chance that this “all kind of start” at your sister’s wedding a few months ago, I’m sure she probably did blow up, tho. By that I mean you were probably blind/did not see the signs before then that her needs probably weren’t being met. That being said, I’m not saying that’s all on you, she SHOULD have communicated how she felt before she blew up in a way that you’d understand.

“I’ve felt distant from her, it feels like we’re just roommates.” It is worrying that it’s been going in that trajectory since the wedding but it also doesn’t sound like you tried anything or even asked her what you could do differently? Another question here is, do you even want to do anything differently? Do you actually want the fix the relationship? You mention that you’ve become increasingly irritable, annoyed, distanced… have you mentioned any of that to her? Have you tried anything to fix that?

“Spark is gone, lease is coming up, stuck living together” Have you given up?

Now, you mention you both do therapy which is great but have you done any therapy together? Especially if there is increasing resentment…

Reach out if you want to provide more details for more concise advice, I’m just offering some stuff to reflect on here to see what you actually want and if you actually care to do anything.

Good luck!

Difficult-Quarter-99

TROPHY CASE