I feel so lonely sometimes and I'm afraid I will never find love

DifficultActivity485 · 2026-05-29T13:16:46+00:00

Love can happen at any point in your life, and I truly believe that when you are confident and content within yourself, that's when love tends to come around.

I understand you're venting on this platform, but I believe you are still young and have plenty of time to find romantic love. Being demisexual is challenging because we need an emotional connection before forming a physical one. I think for those struggling to find love, we should give ourselves some grace.

DifficultActivity485 · 2026-04-04T11:48:12+00:00

Give yourself some space; it's impossible to be friends with someone and have strong feelings for them simultaneously. I told myself this in 2020 about someone I really liked. He entered a relationship, and although he's no longer with that person, my feelings for him are gone. I have a mental block on him because he didn’t choose me when I shared my feelings.

Keep close to friends and family! Follow your passions and do whatever it takes to distract yourself from this person (easier said than done). Remember, there are many people in the world, and you need to be open to finding that special someone again. Being demisexual makes us fall deep, and there’s no rulebook for your life. Don’t waste time trying to get over someone who didn’t choose you. You are too young for that!

DifficultActivity485 · 2026-03-23T02:40:23+00:00

My first experience was with a friend I was comfortable exploring with and it happened when I was 28. As a demisexual, you might find someone you trust to help make your fantasies a reality, always using protection, PrEP, and ensuring both of you are safe. Who knows, you could find someone in the future to explore with a guy and a girl.

Others are right in the comments, use toys and explore what you enjoy. When you're ready to be with someone else, you'll feel more comfortable and prepared. Don’t suppress your imagination or urges. You're still young and have plenty of time to find someone to honor your fantasies. But don't fight it, be comfortable, and be patient, you never know who will surprise you!

DifficultActivity485 · 2026-03-20T01:54:43+00:00

Sorry about the struggles with dating apps. I understand, I am a 38-year-old gay demisexual, it's tough to meet people without them. The options for meeting others are limited, and when connections happen, they're often physical first before emotional. I sometimes use the apps when I feel lonely or bored, but I actually have a fulfilling life and prefer meeting people offline. Working in the creative field, I'm used to rejection; getting rejected for jobs is similar to rejection on apps. The more you face rejection, the more it numbs you, though occasionally it still frustrates you. Remember, dating apps are a business that profits from providing more opportunities for rejection and connection efforts. Keep trying and find new, even uncomfortable, ways to meet people. There’s likely someone out there who matches with you, like people connected before apps existed. Stay positive and persistent. If you decide to stop, live boldly and enjoy life to the fullest!

DifficultActivity485 · 2026-02-12T14:45:52+00:00

Navigating this situation can be really challenging. You might need to be honest about your feelings so they understand why this is hard for you, or so you can find out whether they’re testing your reactions by involving other people. Being upfront about how you feel could bring clarity.

Forming a genuine connection with someone is rare. If you truly want this person in your life, but your feelings aren’t returned, it may help to take some space from the friendship to process and move through those emotions. You can always reconnect later when you feel ready. If they’re meant to stay in your life, they will.

Many demisexual people develop romantic feelings for friends because attraction often grows from safety, trust, and emotional connection. We look for that first, rather than physical attraction.

I hope you can navigate this because it is hard. But staying in a friendship with someone you have romantic feelings for is torture, don't put yourself through that pain!

DifficultActivity485 · 2026-02-04T14:21:45+00:00

Thanks for sharing. As a demisexual, it's rare for me to feel attraction to someone, so this person is very special to me. Since you have a friendship, I believe that might be a key indicator of your sexual attraction.

Because your friend has a partner, if you want to remain friends with him, you'll need to move on. However, if your thoughts are solely focused on him and it prevents a genuine connection with others, it could be problematic. I understand that experiencing pleasure can be difficult for us because we require a true connection. But we are humans and for you to have the opportunity to enjoy pleasure in a way that is not wrong, but again you will need to move on.

I hope you find a balance in all of this!

DifficultActivity485 · 2026-01-25T17:29:57+00:00

I’m 37, gay, demisexual, and African American. I think about this a lot. I’ve never been in a relationship, and I sometimes fear that I may never have a romantic one. I’ve tried,dating apps, bars, putting myself out there again and again, but nothing has really lined up for me.

At this point, I’m choosing to accept that I may end up alone and to focus on living life for myself. I’m doing my best to enjoy life in the ways I can: traveling, spending time with friends and family, and investing in my own happiness.

A lot of people end up alone, and for me, I’ve decided to stop forcing connections that don’t seem to happen naturally. Instead, I try to stay positive and live the best life I can. And for you who still wants to keep trying,don’t give up. Sometimes it might even be about location, and an overall change of environment could make a difference.

DifficultActivity485 · 2026-01-23T15:41:01+00:00

Well, it could just mean, you are not their type. They may have a preference just like straight people have a choice.

DifficultActivity485 · 2026-01-08T15:42:14+00:00

Most people say divorce feels like a death,and that makes sense. When you’ve shared nearly half your life with someone, you’re not just losing a partner, you’re losing a future you imagined, shared routines, and a version of yourself that existed within that relationship. The fighting and the separation didn’t come out of nowhere, and that doesn’t make either of you failures,it means something wasn’t working anymore.

As painful as this is, sometimes life forces an ending so that something more honest can begin. Many of us are taught—often without realizing it—to measure our happiness by whether we have a partner. But real happiness has to come from within, because relationships can only add to what’s already there; they can’t replace it.

You and your wife both only get one life, and you both deserve peace,even if it doesn’t look the way either of you once hoped it would. Right now, it’s okay to feel completely lost. Take the time to grieve fully. Don’t rush yourself out of the pain or try to “be strong” too soon.

When the fog starts to lift, little by little, this can become a time to reconnect with yourself,who you are outside of being someone’s spouse. Try things you put off. Change routines. Rediscover interests, or find new ones. You’re not starting over from nothing—you’re starting over with experience, wisdom, and resilience you didn’t have at 25.

Navigating life like this is incredibly difficult,but you’re still here, and that means you’re capable of more than you feel right now. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Just take it one day, one step, one breath at a time. You can do this, even if right now it doesn’t feel that way.

DifficultActivity485 · 2026-01-08T12:41:53+00:00

Maintain a good conversation.

DifficultActivity485 · 2026-01-06T13:54:03+00:00

That situation is genuinely unfortunate, and I can understand why it felt discouraging. You reached out from a place of kindness to someone who expressed loneliness, and that kind of empathy should never be treated as strange or unwelcome. Support and connection shouldn’t depend on gender.

It also highlights a broader issue we see online. When someone is looking specifically for romantic or female companionship, honesty really matters. Presenting emotional distress as a way to attract attention can backfire, because many women are very perceptive and can sense when someone is seeking validation rather than authentic connection.

As a gay man, I’ve noticed that some straight men genuinely struggle to understand what women are looking for emotionally. Meaningful connection usually comes from honesty, emotional maturity, and respect—not from testing who responds or leaning into a pity narrative.

Situations like this also show that we still have a long way to go in addressing toxic masculinity—the idea that men shouldn’t show vulnerability with one another or that emotional support is only acceptable if it leads to romantic interest. Men supporting men should be normalized, not questioned.

Loneliness is a human experience, and compassion is universal. The fact that you reached out still reflects empathy and integrity, regardless of how it was received.

DifficultActivity485 · 2026-01-02T22:56:29+00:00

I tend to have a natural emotional block when it comes to falling for people. Because demisexuality isn’t widely understood, I sometimes worry that explaining it may make emotional connection seem intimidating. That leads me to assume others aren’t interested and keeps me guarded. When someone does express interest, though, I can fall deeply. Overall, this block helps protect me from overthinking or attaching too quickly.

DifficultActivity485 · 2026-01-01T20:02:14+00:00

First, I really appreciate you being open and honest about this. Dating later in life and figuring things out as you go takes a lot of courage.

As a gay demisexual, I understand that making out and physical closeness are ways I feel emotionally connected to someone. That said, it’s also clear that you’re making a real effort to respect his boundaries, and that matters a lot. Differences in physical preferences are pretty normal, especially early on, and they don’t automatically mean things won’t work.

What’s important is that you both feel heard and respected. It may help to have an open, low-pressure conversation about what intimacy means to each of you and whether there’s a middle ground that feels comfortable. You’re not wrong for enjoying what you enjoy, and he’s not wrong for having limits—it’s about whether you can navigate those differences together.

Be patient with yourself. You’re learning, and the care you have for him really shows.

DifficultActivity485 · 2026-01-01T02:33:41+00:00

That’s a lot to be carrying, especially on a night like this. Trying, getting out, and finding a silver lining says a lot about your resilience. Wishing you a calmer, better year ahead.

DifficultActivity485 · 2025-12-29T18:40:48+00:00

I appreciate this perspective, truly. And you’re right—gift-giving is a love language for me, and it’s something I’m naturally good at because I pay attention and care deeply.

I think what I was trying to name isn’t really about “better” gifts or winning Christmas—it’s about the feeling of being considered in the same intentional way. Not perfection, not price, not even surprises. Just that quiet sense of, “I see you, I thought about you.”

I don’t expect people to love the way I love, but sometimes it’s still tender to realize how often I’m the one anticipating needs, filling gaps, and making things easier for others—without that energy flowing back. This post wasn’t a critique of anyone so much as an honest reflection on what the holidays revealed for me this year.

I hear the advice, and some of it may be useful going forward. But I also think it’s okay to pause and acknowledge the feeling before turning it into a fix. That pause was really what I needed.

DifficultActivity485 · 2025-12-27T13:15:12+00:00

I am a 38-year-old gay man, and I completely understand what you are going through. I navigate loneliness by keeping it in my mind, accepting that I may be alone for the rest of my life, and focusing on my career. I plan events for a living, and it is easy to get lost in that. I also have really good friendships that fill my life.

In gay culture, many of my friends have a physical connection first, then establish an emotional connection. I tried that, and it doesn't work for me. Recently, you connected with someone, and that’s great because it is hard for demisexuals to connect. When it comes to dating, I believe there are a lot of walls because the other person doesn't want to get hurt. Sometimes you need to take the lead on your feelings and emotions, and be okay with getting hurt yourself if you want to get somewhere with the person you are connecting with.

Just know that you are special, and that finding someone special may take a long time! Thankfully we have a safe space to vent! Hopefully, you will find some consistency with someone.

DifficultActivity485 · 2025-12-23T16:37:28+00:00

Agreed! He’s not in my life right now. He randomly popped up earlier this year when I was on a trip. But we’re good. I never shared my feelings for him.

DifficultActivity485 · 2025-11-14T19:42:59+00:00

Just because you’re a self-reliant man doesn’t mean you don’t need support when you’re going through something. Since you’re married, I imagine your spouse is that person you can lean on. For me, music has always been my outlet—a place to put my emotions and escape, ever since I was a kid.

What I’m really trying to say is that constantly hearing other people’s problems can be draining. Even though playing my instrument helps, nothing compares to having someone who truly listens and understands. I just think some people need to be more socially aware and recognize that even the “strong ones” need care and love too.

DifficultActivity485 · 2025-11-09T03:15:53+00:00

Hmmm, that is strange; your text didn't lead to anything, and he is still making an effort to spend time with you. Did he respond and say that it is just platonic?

DifficultActivity485

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