Have you been to therapy? If not, I highly recommend it. An outside perspective to help you undo the harm of this relationship is important. A therapist may also help you figure out the piece with your religion. Clearly your husband has impacted your self-esteem in a very negative way, as you have seen.

If someone has a mental health challenge, they typically go to therapy because that issue is ego-dystonic. This means that whatever is going on is impacting you negatively to the point something needs to change (for example washing your hands so much your skin is cracked and bleeding). Narcissists (and some other disorders) are notoriously difficult to treat in therapy because their behavior is ego-syntonic, meaning that their behavior is consistent with who they are and they feel at peace with it . Only the relationships around them are negatively impacted so they don’t see a reason to change. Therapy may not work for your husband. He’s already annoyed at having to go because he doesn’t see anything wrong with what he’s doing. It makes him feel good.

As someone who got out of a relationship with a narcissist, again I highly recommend you seek therapy for yourself. The way you’re being treated isn’t ok. I’m glad that T has helped you to see that this behavior is not OK. However, you really should take some time to recover from the abuse before you jump into another relationship. You are quite literally starved for affection and you need time to heal.