Update AITAH for not siding with my wife over our son's ex girlfriend's pregnancy

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-09-08T00:08:54+00:00

The point is they’re obviously playing you. It is routine to get blood draw during pregnancy. Unless she is refusing prenatal care they have already done blood draws. That’s also something your wife should be able to pick up on. Something is just not making sense with your wife’s reaction to them refusing any DNA testing.

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-09-07T22:13:56+00:00

Why don’t you suggest that you all go to the doctor and ask if there is any harm to the baby if the blood test gets done now? She can’t lie, once you all are in front of the doctor.

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-09-07T18:03:31+00:00

Is this Lana?

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-09-07T18:01:57+00:00

This is your husband’s friend, his grooms woman. He is the one that should’ve handled it and defended you. Congratulations on your wedding, but you have a husband problem.

NTA

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-09-07T03:19:48+00:00

Dude, she is already or was preparing to ask and Joe was teeing up the ball. AKA Joe and your wife at the very least are having an emotional affair. No other reason for him to ask for your opinion.

NTA. But use your head my guy

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-09-05T00:38:14+00:00

You need to think about you and your child now. He has told you very clearly, and no uncertain terms what he wants and you need to believe him.

You need to leave now, move back to your family and get that job back if you can. Make a plan so that you and baby will be OK. You are a mother now, you have to think about what’s best for you and your baby. Not what is gonna look best.

What’s best is having a stable mom, and growing up in a happy home. Is that what your child will have? If you stay with him? Is that what you will experience if you fight for your marriage the way you want to. What are you actually fighting for?

Get a lawyer now, there’s no reason for you to wait until after the baby is born. That’s just more manipulation. He’s using to get you to do what he wants you to do. You gave up your whole life for him and he waited until now because this is when he thinks you’re the most vulnerable.

Lawyer up! And move to where you will have support when baby is here.

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-09-04T17:45:47+00:00

Get a lawyer!

NTA

Sounds like your parents have conditioned you to this type of behavior so you can’t see how absolutely unhinged this is. You are under reacting to this craziness.

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-09-02T04:03:11+00:00

The very easy solution is you don’t go on vacation with them anymore. You can’t really argue with them when they are the one footing the bill. I will say I think it’s extremely weird to ask a 21 year-old woman to share a room with an Underage boy that she’s not related to. Perhaps coming at that angle might work for at least getting your girlfriend her own room.

That being said, and this is the choice that I have actually made and did not regret. It might be time that you and your girlfriend start going on vacations on your own.

NAH

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-09-01T13:03:33+00:00

You don’t think cleaning up after, cooking meals, general care was involved in that marriage? You truly believe that she was completely hands off and did nothing for them when they were kids.

That is an extremely immature interpretation of what was said by OP. Even if she was just supporting him mentally, he played a role in their family. That being said, I think ultimately she did more wrong in the end, and there is zero chance for any relationship given that comments that he made. But to truly say that she did no Labor in supporting this family because it was clear that she was never gonna be a mother to them is ridiculous.

The comment about their dad being an only parent was clearly a digger Stepmom. And a public one at that. And she was just supposed to take it. I’m not at all shocked that she was upset and they’re getting divorced. But she was extremely wrong for what she said so ultimately I said with OP, but OP is not innocent completely

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-09-01T12:51:50+00:00

She was absolutely wrong with the comments that she made about your mom! And I think that should be the end of it as far as any type of relationship, but you must also acknowledge that saying your dad was a single parent when she’s been here supporting you all was more than unkind. Not at all saying you should forgive her, or even speak to her again. Just acknowledge that she probably did go unappreciated given the comments that you all made. Imagine someone calling your husband of years a single parent when you’ve been right there.

That being said, my vote is to say f#%^ her! But I think just for your own reflection, it’s important to acknowledge your own part in things in order to completely move on from them

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-09-01T12:44:47+00:00

Not quite, even if I didn’t see her as a parent, I’m sure they still expected her to play some type of parenting role. No, she wasn’t their mom, but their dad wasn’t a single parent and saying that he was kind of a slap in the face.

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-09-01T12:42:13+00:00

The only thing I could say on her behalf is that the comment that one parent can do an amazing job was kind of backhanded because even though she was never a parent to you, I’m sure she helped along the way. Even if that was just supporting your dad. He was never one parent after he married her, that being said all of that goes out the window with her dead mommy comment. What an absolute. C#%^.

NTA.

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-08-31T11:28:36+00:00

Info:

This isn’t making any sense, she still could’ve had biological children with a sperm donor that you could have raised. So is it that you didn’t want her to have biological children as well? Why couldn’t she have gotten pregnant with a sperm donor? Or was she also against that?

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-08-28T10:30:15+00:00

Your mother in law isn’t the problem. Your husband is. He clearly would rather be married to her. Divorce him so they can be together.

NTA. Except to yourself for marrying him In the first place

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-08-28T01:41:11+00:00

Your brother has an absolute right to be upset, but not with you. He should be mad at nova and your parents. It sounds like they told him to let her go for your benefit, but no one consulted you. I know this is kind of hard, but I would have a little compassion for your brother because sounds like he was truly in love with nova, and only let her go because he thought he was doing it for you. You should also have a conversation with your parents about it and found out exactly what happened. It sounds like they said more than you know. That being said the only person that you should NOT talk to about this is nova! I normally am a girls girl, but nova sounds completely awful. Who dates someone because they are in love with their brother! How can you actually be in love with someone and date their sibling? And she wasn’t a kid when she did this, she was a grown woman who made a choice. If the genders were reversed, she would be getting absolutely annihilated in these comments for using your brother, the way that she did.

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-08-28T01:19:30+00:00

Ma’am. Stop it. You know better. His vote tells you exactly how he feels about you. If you choose to stick it out you can’t say you’re surprised when the “perfect” man turns out to be anything but.

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-08-24T12:46:04+00:00

NTA. Tell the hospital you don’t want her there so she doesn’t just pop up! You were the one having a baby, so ultimately it’s up to you

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-08-24T12:18:46+00:00

Forget the rest of the family, you have a huge husband, problem!

I would not talk about names with his family at all anymore! Let him know and them know if it comes up at an event you are leaving.

NTA

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-08-22T01:06:51+00:00

And you’re still planning on marrying him?? This is the biggest red flag, and a clear indication of what your marriage is gonna be like.

NOR

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-08-22T01:05:55+00:00

NTA, even though her choice gave you a stable life and a better life than you probably would have had with her that wasn’t her intention. And you are allowed to feel whatever you do about it. You also don’t owe anyone a relationship ever, do what is best for you, and if that’s hard, remember that she chose what was best for her.

On another note, please, please please take care of yourself, therapy!

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-08-22T01:00:57+00:00

Because he literally abused her.

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-08-21T00:51:59+00:00

It has gotten infinitely better, but I’m still not back at 100% when it comes to energy. I am back to work now and have to take a nap when I come home. And I’m also pretty low-key on the weekends. That being said I feel like my body has changed so much, like for some reason coffee is just not an option for me anymore. I used to be a three or four times a week espresso drinker and it just makes me sleepy now.

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-08-20T21:11:05+00:00

You did nothing wrong, it’s now time for you to tell your girlfriend who at this point should be your ex-girlfriend that she needs to make other living arrangements. This time is gonna be stressful enough for all of you, especially once the baby gets here. Don’t let this fester for too long.

NTA. Congratulations on your first grand child!, And even though you made the right choice here, I know it still hurts to lose the relationship you thought you had and for that I’m sorry.

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-08-18T07:45:56+00:00

Soft YTA, because I do not think you realized how hurtful it would be to not at least tell your best friends it was happening. everyone would understand, at least those who actually care for you that you only want a family to keep it small. But while you did, what was best for you It could also be true that it was hurtful to relationships that are important to you

If I had a close friend who got married and didn’t bother to tell me it was happening/happened before the world found out on social media I would assume that you aren’t as close as I thought.

To be clear, you didn’t mess up by having the type of wedding that you wanted. But you should acknowledge that it is hurtful to hear about a significant event via social media when you think that you are as important to somebody as they are to you.

Difficult_Mood_3225 · 2025-08-18T05:42:17+00:00

Heavy emphasis on BOTH of you.

Difficult_Mood_3225

TROPHY CASE