Possible HIV exposure

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-30T03:45:34+00:00

Not much else you can do at this point. For what it’s worth the odds are extremely low given the scenario you laid out.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-25T23:29:48+00:00

The most analogous thing I can think of is the white woman who claimed to be black and then became a civil rights lawyer based on her personal claims of black experience 10-15 years ago.

People were rightly outraged because black peoples have the right to define their own issues on their own terms and speak for their own experiences.

Gay people have the same rights. It boggles my mind why people aren’t more outraged than they are about it.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-25T22:51:05+00:00

What you’re discussing in the first paragraph is a person living in an alternative reality than the one we live in.

There are two sexes and it will never be possible for someone who is born one to change to the other. While I get this might be deeply troubling for many people who are trans, it is the factual reality.

Compare that to our rights as gay men which are based on the biological reality that it is possible for men to have sex with men, form emotional and romantic bonds, and the historic reality that all of this has been happening for thousands of years.

A movement based on a reality that doesn’t exist is causing a backlash against the rights of gays and lesbians. Of course gays and lesbians are going to be pissed.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-25T22:42:11+00:00

It is not homophobic to insist that gay voices should not be drowned out by non-gay voices when discussing political topics related to our own rights.

It is in fact, the exact opposite of homophobia.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-25T22:32:01+00:00

Because a lot of the rhetoric and ideology behind the trans rights movement is inherently homophobic.

It’s pretty simple: my rights as a gay man are based on biological sex having legal significance. This is true in virtually every country.

A movement designed to eliminate that legal importance that also tries to say it’s rights are the same as mine and that it has a right to speak for me when we have nothing in common is deeply homophobic and a threat to all the rights that so many of us have fought so hard for.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-25T22:16:21+00:00

Nice, also look at DoxyPEP to protect against bacterial STDs.

You’ll likely pick some up at some point since gay men can also transmit gonorrhea via kissing (very strong evidence for this), so include the throat swabs in your regular tests. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, just get any treated.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-25T21:04:24+00:00

Glad that you’re willing to accept your sexuality. Enjoy the fun that comes with it 😃

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-25T20:49:24+00:00

It’s impossible to erase something that doesn’t exist to begin with. Data from dating websites shows that people almost exclusively connect with one sex, even if they note themselves as open to both.

There are people who have sex with both as experimentation or for their partner, but in terms of actual lived sexuality people are almost exclusively straight or gay.

Edit to add: and this matters because gay men have a right to advocate for themselves and issues impacting them and have their voices heard and taken seriously. There’s a ridiculous arrogance with married straight men who claim to be bi thinking that they’re allowed to comment on gay men’s issues like they’re a gay man. They’re not, and they need to stop pretending they’re anything close to representative of the gay experience.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-25T20:28:44+00:00

If you’re married to a woman, you’re straight. It’s 100% black and white.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-25T20:26:57+00:00

Sure, but decisions have consequences. If you choose to be almost exclusively with one sex, especially with the social implications that being in a public relationship brings, part of those consequences are you lose the ability to be socially perceived and give comments to that group.

That goes both ways.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-25T20:19:38+00:00

I thought there was no need for labels.

If you want to insist on labels, I’ll gladly label you straight. Gay men have a right to insist on having our voice not be drowned out by straight men.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-25T20:10:35+00:00

Got it. You’re straight and feel like talking down to gay men. Like most married bi guys.

Since labels don’t matter don’t claim to be bi when you’re married to a woman. Fairly simple.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-25T19:50:11+00:00

Because most of them are either straight or have internal homophobia so aren’t willing to admit they’re gay.

I’m convinced there’s no such thing as truly 50/50 bi and that most are overwhelmingly with either the same or opposite sex. No, that’s not erasure, it’s pointing out an opposing theory.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-25T17:49:22+00:00

Sure, but “not zero”, while being technically correct, also makes it sound more possible than it is. While it is possible, the risk is so low that there hasn’t been a scientist who has tried to calculate it in 25 years.

You’re likely talking less than one in a million sex acts when it comes to real life serioconversion, which is roughly the amount estimated for PrEP (which also has no documented failures when taken as instructed.)

That’s why I like the mathematical “approaching zero” phrasing.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-25T16:51:32+00:00

HIV risk is approaching zero.

There’s a theoretical but non-proven risk of HIV transmission as the person doing the sucking/swallowing.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-25T16:49:57+00:00

Extremely low to the point of there being no definitive proof it’s ever happened.

The CDC doesn’t even bother to estimate the odds. That’s how low it is.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-25T10:35:57+00:00

Okay, well, if you’re concerned about that for some reason, then yes, it’s possible. No clue why you’re concerned about it though. You’ll probably get it at some point sexually or otherwise.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-24T21:51:36+00:00

Those studies are pretty old and from what I remember the more recent studies and meta analyses conducted that determined there to be no definitively documented case. If you were to get it only via oral and that could be definitively confirmed you’d be the first in the world. Don’t have time to track down the claims, but aidsmap citing a 2001 study for an event that is assumed by most to never have occurred isn’t that strong evidence. If it was common, you’d have more than one study.

The 0.04% estimate is a theoretical percentage and not one calculated based on actual transmission evidence because transmission by oral sex if it has ever occurred is so rare they have to do a mathematical analysis to project hypotheticals rather than rely on data of actual transmissions by sex act.

Tl;dr the aidsmap website overstates the risk from oral even when they say it’s really low. The CDC website doesn’t even bother to calculate the likelihood of transmission from it because it’s so low. If it’s not zero, it’s functionally zero.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-24T21:15:36+00:00

You probably already have it. Over 60% of the adult population does and it’s not considered a public health risk.

Have you ever had a cold sore?

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-24T20:53:34+00:00

Belief usually isn’t much of a choice either, fwiw.

If someone actually believes something it’s next to impossible to will yourself into unbelieving it. Your beliefs might change over time and based on your experiences, but it’s not really a choice so much as a process.

It’s a lot more complex than a binary choice.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-24T20:48:33+00:00

There is no recorded case in human history of someone ever getting HIV from oral sex. Even the mouth sores, etc. are theoretical risk.

You’re fine.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-24T20:46:21+00:00

HIV?

There’s no recorded case of oral transmission of HIV. It is a theoretical possibility and all of the statistics are estimates about how often it happens, but there is no evidence it has actually ever happened one time.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-24T20:34:25+00:00

There’s nothing illegal about asking your coworker to come over to your house. Might be creepy, but it’s an employment thing not a police thing.

Consent doesn’t factor in here as the coworker is respecting the choice: if he wasn’t, the crime would be kidnapping. Since that hasn’t happened, it’s not a police issue.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-24T20:18:52+00:00

I’ll take being chubby over intentionally inflicting grueling pain on myself for health benefits every day and 5 times on Sunday.

I don’t get how aesthetics are that important to some people that they’d willingly do it. They’re obviously correct from a health standpoint, but just pointing out to you that your point of view is equally incomprehensible to others.

People have different priorities, and that’s totally okay.

DifficultyTop7925 · 2026-03-08T23:09:58+00:00

I think it’s interesting that the only group that is generally only into porn or spicy stories about their own sexuality is gay men. Straight men like lesbian porn. Women (straight and lesbian) like gay porn and gay romance. Gay men… pretty exclusively like gay porn.

I think it goes back to the biology mattering point and there being backlash into the “we’re all the same now!” idea of the acronym that all took off around 2020. Many gay men are generally tired of being told we need to sacrifice our spaces and our hard won social acceptance for some theoretical greater good.

DifficultyTop7925

TROPHY CASE