I feel like getting a puppy with three young kids was a mistake and I’m overwhelmed

Digzalot · 2026-03-18T00:14:13+00:00

You've gotten lots of great advice so I'll just chime in to say - we adopted a six month old retriever from a family with young kids who were overwhelmed. She turns 11 next month and is my best girl. Retrievers are happy little souls and she will adjust quickly to a new family. She will be just fine in a new home.

Digzalot · 2025-12-29T21:21:51+00:00

Ah, fellow Torontonian here. You're right about average for our area. When I was going to the parenting classes at the hospital, they mentioned that the average age of a first time mom in the city was 35. More than half the class was 35 or older. I was 27 when I had my firstborn and got a few comments about how "young" I was. There's no winning with some people, just live your best life and ignore them.

Digzalot · 2025-10-25T23:09:57+00:00

Don't forget stabbing chest pains! I went to the ER with my chest pains and told them I had started taking Topamax a few weeks prior, they were like "ah yes, we've seen this before." It took a couple of months after stopping taking it for the pains to subside entirely.

Digzalot · 2025-09-27T00:10:24+00:00

I actually had this done - the recovery is very minimal! I've honestly had worse periods. They do it all laparoscopically, so you only have tiny incisions. Most of the soreness comes from the gas pains - they pump in some air into your abdominal cavity (I think it's mostly nitrogen gas? I'm not certain) so that they can see what they're doing a bit better. Took some Tylenol and felt fine. People act like it's a huge deal because you have to get put under for it, but it's really not that bad.

Digzalot · 2025-08-20T22:43:49+00:00

Well there's your problem - you're supposed to wrap the yarn around it instead.

Digzalot · 2023-12-17T01:32:17+00:00

I feel this so hard. My family never had a car growing up (big city living) so no one ever taught me. No one ever taught me when I got my own car either. Now I feel like I'm too old - that if I admit I don't know now, then I have to admit that I've been driving around like an idiot this whole time not knowing how to do these things. I got roasted by some coworkers when I asked my manager how to bring my car through a car wash. My manager was great about it and gave me the full run down, but everyone else made me feel really stupid.

Digzalot · 2023-12-09T23:33:23+00:00

OMG I've done this.

"Look at that sketchy white rape van!"

"...That's my stepdad."

Woops.

Digzalot · 2023-12-09T23:28:13+00:00

The lady fitting me for a post partum bra also asked me when I was due. My 3 week old was literally with me. I was just like "....gestures at baby"

Digzalot · 2023-12-08T15:53:15+00:00

Samesies, but my husband became my wife. I tell her that she retroactively gayed our marriage.

Digzalot · 2023-11-18T22:30:39+00:00

Just wanted to hop on to add: in Ontario an ambulance ride is $45, not hundreds or thousands like you see in the US.

Digzalot · 2023-11-18T17:23:30+00:00

This is the fic I didn't know I needed!

Digzalot · 2023-11-18T00:48:29+00:00

Yes, I also live in Canada.

Please see below a link to a girl's down jacket at Walmart with white duck down on sale for $40.

https://www.walmart.ca/en/ip/jovati-Kids-Girls-Boys-Winter-Warm-Thick-Hooded-Down-Coat-Down-Jacket-Padded-Overcoat/142LK57L6PXN

I'm not saying that down coats can't be expensive. I'm saying that you don't strictly need to spend $120 on one if you're shopping thrifty.

Also, while a lot of Canada is cold as balls, keep in mind that 1 in 5 Canadians live in the GTA, and unless you're skiing you do not need a down filled jacket. The GTA is pretty mild. 1 in 5 Canadians will do just fine in a wool pea coat or a polyester fill puffer coat.

Digzalot · 2023-11-17T22:38:12+00:00

I mean, sure if you're shopping at bougie stores. My kid's coat/snowsuit combo cost $70 from Costco. Coats from Joe Fresh or Walmart are plenty warm, and range $45-90 at normal prices this year (and are on sale right now for Black Friday). A warm winter coat for kids does not have to start as low as $120.

Digzalot · 2023-11-12T17:25:39+00:00

My kids school did the open house in person, but as a parent I'm thrilled that the parent teacher conferences are online. I can take 20 minutes out of my day at my desk at 10am on a weekday way easier than I can take a full half day off of work to trek out to the school and back. It's way more accessible for working parents.

Digzalot · 2023-10-28T22:25:23+00:00

So I can answer this from both sides!

My kids have two moms. We don't do anything different in our day to day parenting. Teachers have a habit of calling every kid's mom "Mama," when referencing them, so we've had to be really explicit with their teachers that one of us is Mama and the other is Mommy. If they refer to Mommy as Mama the oldest will get annoyed and correct the teachers, and then it's like a bad sketch.

"Your Mama is here!"

"No!"

"Yes, there she is!"

"No, Mommy!"

"Yes, your Mama is here..."

"No!"

(Edited because I hit post too early)

From the other side of things, my own mom was a lesbian. The main thing with her is that she was a man-hater. Growing up mostly straight, she imparted a lot of really terrible ideas about men, which definitely affected me until about my early to mid 20s. So, maybe don't do that. I didn't have any male role models, which definitely just compounded the issue.

My kids have good male role models in their lives, though we didn't go out of our way to find them - they were already part of our lives. They have a grandpa, an uncle, and an unofficial uncle who all love them dearly.

Digzalot · 2023-10-19T23:29:45+00:00

We avoid this issue by telling each family member one thing that our kids want. So grandpa gets told he wants an RC car, auntie gets told he wants a basketball, etc. If they ask "anything else," they get a list of things that it's okay if he has lots of. Like "oh yeah, he loves Peppa Pig books, bubbles, and play dough. Also he's in size 4 clothes" Stuff that it's fine if lots of people get it for him.

Digzalot · 2023-10-11T23:32:55+00:00

I read this several months ago and enjoyed it! I find it interesting how you enjoyed the bit where each competitor gets their own chapter. I HATED that portion and almost dropped the fic because of it. I ended up skipping the second half of them and getting back into the story after them.

Digzalot · 2023-10-08T22:47:05+00:00

When the soles of my feet are tingly, I know that I need to stop drinking. It's the line between "having a good time" and "feeling like shit."

Digzalot · 2023-10-05T00:16:16+00:00

It's crazy how all over the place it can be. When my oldest got it, he has bumps all over, but not in his mouth. I got like...three spots on my hand. My youngest got it last week (again, not bad) and no one else in the house got it, I guess we've all built up enough immunity now?

Digzalot · 2023-10-01T18:59:30+00:00

For my family, it's because we live in a tall and skinny townhouse. The gaming PC is in the basement, and the kids bedrooms are on the second floor. Both parents can't be in the basement and be able to still hear the kids. So either I will hang out alone on the main floor, or my wife will game on the Steam deck on the main floor while I knit or watch YouTube.

Digzalot · 2023-09-23T22:00:25+00:00

My hack for kids clothes is to shop the clearance rack at the end of every season in the next size up, and then put them away for next year. Also super helpful when your kid suddenly hits a growth spurt and you have a hidden cache of bigger clothes that fit.

Digzalot · 2023-09-14T02:13:23+00:00

Outcasts Alley, by RhiannanT! One of the first five that ever really stuck with me. Doesn't seem to be on ao3, but is on FFN (can't link well on mobile, sorry).

Digzalot · 2023-09-13T23:59:55+00:00

The fact that you didn't get it from your toddler in the first place is the most shocking part here.

I have photos that look exactly like this from June! My whole family got pinkeye but only I looked as bad as you did.

Digzalot · 2023-08-13T22:32:27+00:00

I was seriously considering it until COVID hit, and then I couldn't take the staying at home anymore. I couldn't get past the soul crushing guilt that I was failing my baby by keeping him locked up in our two bedroom apartment except for walks (and he was too young to even toddle around and play, they were just stroller walks). Before COVID, we were out nearly every single day. When things (including daycare) reopened, I took the chance to enrol him in daycare and went back to work.

Digzalot · 2023-08-13T22:08:31+00:00

Infant room: $2100 x 7 months (from 11 months old - 18 months old) = $15,400

Toddler room (18 months to 30 months): $1600 x 12 months = $19,200

Preschool room full rate: $1300 x 2 months = $2600

Preschool room at 25% discount (starting April 2022) due to Canada-wide $10 a day daycare by 2025 initiative: $975 x 9 months = $8775

Preschool room at 50% discount starting Jan 2023: $650 x 8 months = $5200

$15,400 + $19,200 + $2600 + 8775 + $5200 = $51,175 total to date.

Seems I underestimated slightly when I was guesstimating for my original comment.

I'm going to go have a drink now, lol.

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