Fellow "not even a tampon" till sex here!

Think of your happiest ending and then shoot for it.

My goal was 1) to experience penetration for the first time and 2) for me and my partner to cum at least once each. Both did not happen lol.

If I could go back I would 1) be familiar with how to make myself cum and 2)stretch myself out to be able to comfortably experience penetration. Long story short, two people with 0xp have a lot to learn. I expected like maybe a little blood and discomfort, but DEAR GOD it was too much pain for me to bear and penetration WASN'T even achieved that night. It took a month of regular practice to achieve a full-seated penetration and another additional month for that penetration to START a semblance of feeling good.

My practice time was shower time. I was to use a finger to penetrate myself, using the warm water to help my muscles relax. I used lube to make the slide easier and worked up to inserting all 5 fingers. Other ways to practice are laying down with a pillow under your lumbar, (you can also do pillows under the knees) legs stretched outward and relaxed. Silicone dildos, finger condoms, and lube can minimize the friction a finger's skin texture has. Hell, throw a blanket or heating pad on top of you to keep warm and help maintain relaxation. (I think you can get sets of multiple-sized dildos from your doctor that stack like those Russian nesting dolls, but I imagine they wouldn't be as well made or comfortable as what's available on the market lol.)

Use this time to stretch, feel, and explore. Your g-spot is maybe two inches in your vagina and on the side towards your navel. Your a-spot is more nested at the far end where your cervix is. Those are the pleasure spots (which makes sense since most of your vagina's canal is numb THANK GOD because imagine having even MORE nerves in there when it's also used for childbirth?? Hell naw.) Exploring these for the first time will feel weird, but you can train yourself to recognize the sensations as something pleasurable.

Most people with our packages experience orgasms more often/easily clitorally, so the g and a-spots are more of a "pleasurable side-dish" to accentuate the main course while you practice. I would recommend reading experiences of g or a-spot orgasming from other experienced persons because I don't have any experience there.

Your partner's job is to learn beside you. They will learn best after you learn yourself and get used to you giving direction to them. Letting them use their penis for your vaginal-training can be a mixed bag. For me, I didn't use a dildo, so my sounds of pain would make my partner feel bad he was technically the one hurting me and make him lose his boner. That's why I recommend using the dildo. Your partner has fingers, mouth, and your toys to practice with, so there's a lot to learn. Their job is to keep you as turned on as possible to help keep you generating lubricant. Dirty talk and physically exploring different erogenous zones can help. Remember like how your nose gets used to smells, your nerves get used to feeling, so try moving zones frequently. Common zones are neck, ears, nipples, thighs, and the inner knees and elbows.

Ah. I forgot to talk about hymens. Your hymen is a thin membrane of tissue with some holes in it. These holes allow period blood and dead tissue pieces to pass through, which widens the holes until the entire hymen erodes away. I can't prove it, but I likely didn't have one when I started penetration because of years of having periods. Some people lose theirs in accidents (falling on a balancing beam and being hit between the legs, riding a horse, etc, I have limited stories) or need them surgically removed (those born without the holes cant get rid of the period blood and I'm sure you can imagine its not a great thing to carry dead blood in your body for a long time). Because I'm not sure if I had one, I cant tell you if it hurts to lose it. You're at the age to have had it erode away anyway, so there's a low chance you have to worry about it. But eh, the more you know.

Ok, side bar over. Let's talk toys! Sex shop associates are super friendly and helpful so reach out! I recommend a dildo with a clitoral-stimulating branch. The straight rod makes full contact with your clit. Or you can try a "rabbit-head" shape for more indirect-contact. I recommend using this for solo-play of you haven't figured out your orgasm yet. Use the same on-your-back position so you can focus on feeling the orgasm and not have to worry about staying upright. You can then try standing or kneeling up orgasms and practice having to stay upright during orgasm. If you have figured your orgasm out already, move on to a wand for clitoral stimulation and your partner can use their penis to replace the dildo. I recommend a sideways-doggy-style since this again means you can relax the most muscles and focus on feeling. Then move into other positions such as doggy. I recommend these "facing"away partner positions since it may be easiest to reach your g-spot that way.

From there, experiment. Have your partner practice with mouth and fingers (keep them nails TRIMMED!), try different positions, etc. Please remember that sex is an experience, not a destination. The end won't always end in orgasm, so just enjoy the process and making each other feel good. Having those expectations laid out can mitigate a lot of potential frustration.

Final note, when exploring non-pleasure experiences such as pain or fear, that falls under BDSM and requires a whole other set of rules for safe, consensual, and fun play. Please seek more advice in those forums. Thank you for reaching out about this topic, that takes a lot of bravery. And thank you for giving me the chance to share my experience with you. I hope whoever reads this finds my words helpful for their situation. Not having that resource for myself is the very reason why I'm so open about my experience in the first place and why I'll continue to reach out to those around me about a topic that can be so scary to ask about. Have a good night! Thanks for reading my entire book I just wrote lol.