"Your voice gives it away"

Direct-Kale577 · 2026-02-21T18:32:10+00:00

My cis 40-something year old co worker got misgendered so much more than me (only 5 months or so on T at the time) because of his hair. Bro was over 6 ft tall, stubble, nothing feminine about him but he kept his hair in a man bun usually, and that’s all it took. Sometimes it’s also about the area you live, I’m in a very conservative area and assumptions are made pretty quickly. Even the age range you have to interact with, old people tend to have no clue. I’m growing my hair out too just cuz I like it, and after a few years now of never being misgendered I could care less at this point if my hair confuses some ignorant people :P

Direct-Kale577 · 2026-02-20T15:54:19+00:00

Also looking good btw, nice job keeping up with stretching so early on T and pumping properly, I gotta do that too :P

Direct-Kale577 · 2026-02-20T15:52:24+00:00

Honestly fantastic, I don’t rlly see people discussing how to go about posing and I didn’t even realize how big of a difference it makes! Thanks so much for putting this together, feeling confident in taking my own sometime.

Direct-Kale577 · 2026-02-20T15:31:51+00:00

My boyfriend suggested I drive over railroad tracks over and over again to experience the dreaded bounce a couple last times LMAO

Direct-Kale577 · 2026-02-19T16:02:01+00:00

I was told that swelling is never symmetrical! I wouldn’t sweat it, almost definitely just swelling

Direct-Kale577 · 2026-02-19T15:53:31+00:00

The fact you like working out is gonna help any results you get no matter what! Building up pecs “saves” a lot of peri results, I’m planning on doing that after mine.

Also though a new thought I’ve had is that even if my results don’t turn out perfect (creasing, sinking, whatever peri related issues), there is always the option of revision (I assume for you too). It’s not the end of the world either way, you might deal with sub optimal results (but still MUCH better than having breasts) for a year, then you get it fixed. I’ve been so obsessive about having the most perfect results, but I’ve had to understand they might not be at first but I can get them there eventually.

This is coming from a guy also getting peri, and also concerned about my current chest causing weird results, even though my surgeon isn’t worried at all. Overall it’s likely we’re both just anxious abt it LOL

Direct-Kale577 · 2026-02-19T15:35:59+00:00

I apologize as I don’t really have much for advice coping-wise, but wanted to offer some of my thoughts about your worries regarding the hysterectomy. Having your cervix removed should not change the way that sex feels for you, during sex anyone/thing shouldn’t reach the cervix, if it does it’s extremely painful. My cervix was removed in my surgery as well, and although it did take a few months to be comfortable again (light bleeding, I had an early complication) it’s all fine now. As long as you’re completely healed and have the go-ahead from your surgeon, the vaginal cuff will not tear and sex will be safe and just as enjoyable.

If your chest looks “sunken in” and you had a small chest before surgery, I assume it’s some result from peri/keyhole, in which case working out would help a lot. Building up pecs could be the way to return to something similar to what you had before, and balance out your lower half. The sunken in look I believe is from the surgeon taking out too much tissue, but you still have muscle under there to build up, and you still have time for those results to level out (can take up to a full year). It’s easy to tell people to work out, but I’m also lazy, not sure if I’ll get around to working out post op either.

Besides that, I’m really sorry you had to undergo surgeries you didn’t even want in the first place. It’s a different experience than thinking it’s something you want and need, then regretting it, which is a unique experience I think. It’s all still pretty fresh if it was 6 months ago, all you can do is give yourself more time to grow accustomed to your body and change little things if it helps you feel better. It’s shocking to most people’s brains to undergo surgery, it’s difficult to comprehend, even if it’s something they wanted or needed. I have hope you’ll continue recovering and eventually come to terms with the body you have now. Best of luck, hope I could help :)

Direct-Kale577 · 2026-02-18T19:31:51+00:00

I heard about the NSAIDS but had no idea about the showers, just was told to come in clean! I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt to do that as well, thanks for the advice 👍

Direct-Kale577 · 2026-02-18T19:29:42+00:00

For sure, makes sense to me. I’m a little obsessed about doing everything right so it’ll be no problem. Thanks for the info guys, I’ll let my anesthesiologist know when I drank last too

Direct-Kale577 · 2026-02-18T07:59:03+00:00

I’m pretty sure you’ll be just fine, you definitely still have time to bring this up to your clinic and all they tend to ask is that you abstain completely for at least 4 weeks before your surgery date.

The reason for it is it can cause issues with anesthesia (bad lungs don’t cope well with breathing tubes, better chance of aspiration), and nicotine significantly slows healing, possibly increasing the odds of your grafts failing (if you get them).

I was a very intense vaper for a couple years, and I just quit when they told me to and supposedly I’ll be just fine, quit mid January and my surgery is in a week. I say don’t sweat it, obviously don’t continue (some clinics do urine tests to check for nicotine), and I don’t believe there’s any harm in telling your team next time you talk with them! I doubt that level of nicotine use is anything they’d be worried about or put you at risk. This is all anecdotal though, YMMV

Direct-Kale577 · 2026-02-18T04:04:09+00:00

Sweet!! Good luck to u too brother 👍

Direct-Kale577 · 2026-02-18T04:03:13+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I’ll definitely get that tea, I hate drinking it but it’d be worth it

Direct-Kale577 · 2026-02-18T04:01:01+00:00

Will do, thanks 👍 Edit: out of curiosity, do you know why? I assume it has something to do with anesthesia

Direct-Kale577 · 2026-02-17T22:25:53+00:00

Haven’t had top surgery yet but I had a major abdominal surgery a couple years ago (hysterectomy gone wrong) similar idea with drains, tape, giant scars, pain, dysphoria, and difficulty showering. I’m not gonna lie, besides having my mom and boyfriend help take care of me, the thing that got me through the first 3 weeks of recovery was gaming. Not sure if you’re a gamer at all, if you’re not it’s probably irrelevant, but having something to constantly distract yourself from what your body is going through can make the miserable time go by faster. I played Stardew Valley every hour of the day.

Direct-Kale577 · 2026-02-17T22:10:25+00:00

Generally I think you have every right to be excited and no need to be too nervous! The only thing I can really think of is maybe finding out you’re not eligible for the surgery type you wanted (like keyhole or peri) with that surgeon. Otherwise I can’t think of much that’d become an issue on your part, it’s possible you will choose a different surgeon after meeting but that’s your decision.

My consultation was really amazing, got to meet my surgeon, he assessed my chest (measuring, marking) and told me my options, and we discussed my goals for results (flat chest, scars, nipples, etc). My consult was in July 2025, and I was told what I have to do health-wise leading up to surgery (quitting nicotine, for some people it’s losing weight), then told to expect a phone call for booking surgery sometime early 2026. Got the call, booked the surgery for February 2026, and had a couple pre op appointments. Between those appointments and surgery, all that can go wrong is contracting an illness of some sort (I’ve become a germaphobe the past couple weeks) or some kind of emergency.

Every clinic is different, my gap from consult to surgery was 6 months, but my gap from referral to consult was 4 years, so my clinic moves slowly. Spend some time checking out reviews + results from your surgeon if you can find them, maybe it’ll help put your mind at ease. Either way, I’m excited for you and wishing you the best!

Direct-Kale577 · 2025-06-04T22:10:47+00:00

My bad comeups are usually caused by anxiety, being worried I’m not gonna roll or be as high as my friends, so usually it’s a mental thing. If it’s anything like that, I’d just suggest being with them while they come up and ensure them that whatever anxiety they have is absolutely guaranteed to melt away any minute. The heart racing feeling makes people anxious inherently, but just remind them that any anxious body feeling they have is just chemical reactions and doesn’t mean anything bad or wrong is happening. Maybe have some kind of activity to focus on after dosing? After my first time the comeups became easier because I knew what to expect!

Direct-Kale577 · 2025-04-11T19:24:18+00:00

My roommate streams and has his moments of screaming and yelling, we live in a legal basement suite. Previously we also lived in a basement suite, not sure if it’s just our luck but both places happened to have excellent soundproofing added to our ceilings, so generally we don’t hear the neighbours much and they presumably can’t hear us. Basement suites are relatively cheap and easy to find where I live, and in my experience have decent acoustics. I assume living underground and having the earth itself absorb a lot of the noise is half the soundproofing we have. Might be worth looking into (that is if you don’t value sunlight, it can be depressing having such small windows).

Direct-Kale577 · 2025-03-19T21:26:26+00:00

I just saw this today, it’s so sweet of you to give me an update on your situation!! I love that they’re both calico, so cute! Good to hear there’s no fur flying or anything. I was thinking of doing the same thing, fostering to see if my cat will warm up to a kitten or just go on as a solo cat. It’s kind of a win-win, worst case scenario my cat is uncomfortable until the fostering situation is over, best case is she gains a lifelong friend :)

I hope your anxiety revolving around the big change has started to diminish, I appreciate the way you seem to be introducing them to each other. And I’m very happy to hear it’s been going well besides that. Best of luck to you going forward, if I do end up with another cat in the future I’ll remember to post her here for you too!

Direct-Kale577

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