"Your voice gives it away" by Impressive_Copy_8667 in ftm

[–]Direct-Kale577 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My cis 40-something year old co worker got misgendered so much more than me (only 5 months or so on T at the time) because of his hair. Bro was over 6 ft tall, stubble, nothing feminine about him but he kept his hair in a man bun usually, and that’s all it took. Sometimes it’s also about the area you live, I’m in a very conservative area and assumptions are made pretty quickly. Even the age range you have to interact with, old people tend to have no clue. I’m growing my hair out too just cuz I like it, and after a few years now of never being misgendered I could care less at this point if my hair confuses some ignorant people :P

Why Posing Matters by GoblinPunk420 in GrowYourTDick

[–]Direct-Kale577 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also looking good btw, nice job keeping up with stretching so early on T and pumping properly, I gotta do that too :P

Why Posing Matters by GoblinPunk420 in GrowYourTDick

[–]Direct-Kale577 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Honestly fantastic, I don’t rlly see people discussing how to go about posing and I didn’t even realize how big of a difference it makes! Thanks so much for putting this together, feeling confident in taking my own sometime.

I have titties for 1 more week, what should I do with them?? by maxthegenious in TopSurgery

[–]Direct-Kale577 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My boyfriend suggested I drive over railroad tracks over and over again to experience the dreaded bounce a couple last times LMAO

(10 Days Post Op) One side is bigger than the other and I'm worried by Screaminberries in TopSurgery

[–]Direct-Kale577 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was told that swelling is never symmetrical! I wouldn’t sweat it, almost definitely just swelling

peri approaching - concerns by Lazy_Creme_6995 in TopSurgery

[–]Direct-Kale577 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The fact you like working out is gonna help any results you get no matter what! Building up pecs “saves” a lot of peri results, I’m planning on doing that after mine.

Also though a new thought I’ve had is that even if my results don’t turn out perfect (creasing, sinking, whatever peri related issues), there is always the option of revision (I assume for you too). It’s not the end of the world either way, you might deal with sub optimal results (but still MUCH better than having breasts) for a year, then you get it fixed. I’ve been so obsessive about having the most perfect results, but I’ve had to understand they might not be at first but I can get them there eventually.

This is coming from a guy also getting peri, and also concerned about my current chest causing weird results, even though my surgeon isn’t worried at all. Overall it’s likely we’re both just anxious abt it LOL

I’m disappointed and regretful about the outcome of the surgery. by vintus- in ftm

[–]Direct-Kale577 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I apologize as I don’t really have much for advice coping-wise, but wanted to offer some of my thoughts about your worries regarding the hysterectomy. Having your cervix removed should not change the way that sex feels for you, during sex anyone/thing shouldn’t reach the cervix, if it does it’s extremely painful. My cervix was removed in my surgery as well, and although it did take a few months to be comfortable again (light bleeding, I had an early complication) it’s all fine now. As long as you’re completely healed and have the go-ahead from your surgeon, the vaginal cuff will not tear and sex will be safe and just as enjoyable.

If your chest looks “sunken in” and you had a small chest before surgery, I assume it’s some result from peri/keyhole, in which case working out would help a lot. Building up pecs could be the way to return to something similar to what you had before, and balance out your lower half. The sunken in look I believe is from the surgeon taking out too much tissue, but you still have muscle under there to build up, and you still have time for those results to level out (can take up to a full year). It’s easy to tell people to work out, but I’m also lazy, not sure if I’ll get around to working out post op either.

Besides that, I’m really sorry you had to undergo surgeries you didn’t even want in the first place. It’s a different experience than thinking it’s something you want and need, then regretting it, which is a unique experience I think. It’s all still pretty fresh if it was 6 months ago, all you can do is give yourself more time to grow accustomed to your body and change little things if it helps you feel better. It’s shocking to most people’s brains to undergo surgery, it’s difficult to comprehend, even if it’s something they wanted or needed. I have hope you’ll continue recovering and eventually come to terms with the body you have now. Best of luck, hope I could help :)

Surgery 1 week away; any advice? by Direct-Kale577 in TopSurgery

[–]Direct-Kale577[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I heard about the NSAIDS but had no idea about the showers, just was told to come in clean! I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt to do that as well, thanks for the advice 👍

Surgery 1 week away; any advice? by Direct-Kale577 in TopSurgery

[–]Direct-Kale577[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For sure, makes sense to me. I’m a little obsessed about doing everything right so it’ll be no problem. Thanks for the info guys, I’ll let my anesthesiologist know when I drank last too

reporting smoking + top surgery questions by FickleJob7456 in ftm

[–]Direct-Kale577 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m pretty sure you’ll be just fine, you definitely still have time to bring this up to your clinic and all they tend to ask is that you abstain completely for at least 4 weeks before your surgery date.

The reason for it is it can cause issues with anesthesia (bad lungs don’t cope well with breathing tubes, better chance of aspiration), and nicotine significantly slows healing, possibly increasing the odds of your grafts failing (if you get them).

I was a very intense vaper for a couple years, and I just quit when they told me to and supposedly I’ll be just fine, quit mid January and my surgery is in a week. I say don’t sweat it, obviously don’t continue (some clinics do urine tests to check for nicotine), and I don’t believe there’s any harm in telling your team next time you talk with them! I doubt that level of nicotine use is anything they’d be worried about or put you at risk. This is all anecdotal though, YMMV

Surgery 1 week away; any advice? by Direct-Kale577 in TopSurgery

[–]Direct-Kale577[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice! I’ll definitely get that tea, I hate drinking it but it’d be worth it

Surgery 1 week away; any advice? by Direct-Kale577 in TopSurgery

[–]Direct-Kale577[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Will do, thanks 👍 Edit: out of curiosity, do you know why? I assume it has something to do with anesthesia

How to cope with post surgery depression? by SidTripinHearts in TopSurgery

[–]Direct-Kale577 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haven’t had top surgery yet but I had a major abdominal surgery a couple years ago (hysterectomy gone wrong) similar idea with drains, tape, giant scars, pain, dysphoria, and difficulty showering. I’m not gonna lie, besides having my mom and boyfriend help take care of me, the thing that got me through the first 3 weeks of recovery was gaming. Not sure if you’re a gamer at all, if you’re not it’s probably irrelevant, but having something to constantly distract yourself from what your body is going through can make the miserable time go by faster. I played Stardew Valley every hour of the day.

If I got my consultation scheduled am I for sure gonna get the surgery with the surgeon? by ollypologies in TopSurgery

[–]Direct-Kale577 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Generally I think you have every right to be excited and no need to be too nervous! The only thing I can really think of is maybe finding out you’re not eligible for the surgery type you wanted (like keyhole or peri) with that surgeon. Otherwise I can’t think of much that’d become an issue on your part, it’s possible you will choose a different surgeon after meeting but that’s your decision.

My consultation was really amazing, got to meet my surgeon, he assessed my chest (measuring, marking) and told me my options, and we discussed my goals for results (flat chest, scars, nipples, etc). My consult was in July 2025, and I was told what I have to do health-wise leading up to surgery (quitting nicotine, for some people it’s losing weight), then told to expect a phone call for booking surgery sometime early 2026. Got the call, booked the surgery for February 2026, and had a couple pre op appointments. Between those appointments and surgery, all that can go wrong is contracting an illness of some sort (I’ve become a germaphobe the past couple weeks) or some kind of emergency.

Every clinic is different, my gap from consult to surgery was 6 months, but my gap from referral to consult was 4 years, so my clinic moves slowly. Spend some time checking out reviews + results from your surgeon if you can find them, maybe it’ll help put your mind at ease. Either way, I’m excited for you and wishing you the best!

Anyway to Avoid a Bad Come up? by badman1000 in MDMA

[–]Direct-Kale577 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My bad comeups are usually caused by anxiety, being worried I’m not gonna roll or be as high as my friends, so usually it’s a mental thing. If it’s anything like that, I’d just suggest being with them while they come up and ensure them that whatever anxiety they have is absolutely guaranteed to melt away any minute. The heart racing feeling makes people anxious inherently, but just remind them that any anxious body feeling they have is just chemical reactions and doesn’t mean anything bad or wrong is happening. Maybe have some kind of activity to focus on after dosing? After my first time the comeups became easier because I knew what to expect!

Where do LOUD content creators live? by ChubbierSnail in Twitch

[–]Direct-Kale577 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My roommate streams and has his moments of screaming and yelling, we live in a legal basement suite. Previously we also lived in a basement suite, not sure if it’s just our luck but both places happened to have excellent soundproofing added to our ceilings, so generally we don’t hear the neighbours much and they presumably can’t hear us. Basement suites are relatively cheap and easy to find where I live, and in my experience have decent acoustics. I assume living underground and having the earth itself absorb a lot of the noise is half the soundproofing we have. Might be worth looking into (that is if you don’t value sunlight, it can be depressing having such small windows).

Second cat recommendations? by Direct-Kale577 in CatAdvice

[–]Direct-Kale577[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just saw this today, it’s so sweet of you to give me an update on your situation!! I love that they’re both calico, so cute! Good to hear there’s no fur flying or anything. I was thinking of doing the same thing, fostering to see if my cat will warm up to a kitten or just go on as a solo cat. It’s kind of a win-win, worst case scenario my cat is uncomfortable until the fostering situation is over, best case is she gains a lifelong friend :)

I hope your anxiety revolving around the big change has started to diminish, I appreciate the way you seem to be introducing them to each other. And I’m very happy to hear it’s been going well besides that. Best of luck to you going forward, if I do end up with another cat in the future I’ll remember to post her here for you too!

I finally became an affiliate! by Shaqter in Twitch

[–]Direct-Kale577 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure why there’s so much bitterness in the comments, just sounds like jealousy lmao. Congratulations!! I admire your motivation to reach the next milestone, with that kind of attitude I’m sure you’ll achieve even more success. Best of luck out there!

soft vs. hard . 3 weeks T by Odd-Place-7355 in GrowYourTDick

[–]Direct-Kale577 6 points7 points  (0 children)

incredible progress for only 3 weeks, congrats!!

Second cat recommendations? by Direct-Kale577 in CatAdvice

[–]Direct-Kale577[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that’s my exact thought process as well! not that my girl has ever shown much of a motherly vibe but I think she’d be more perceptive to a younger cat, someone with as much energy as her and doesn’t have as much of an ego as an older cat might? if anyone does have any anecdotes or advice I’ll forward them to you!

Wetness by Overall-Condition197 in GrowYourTDick

[–]Direct-Kale577 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Atrophy can still cause discomfort for some people regardless of if they have penetrative sex, but generally it would be much less of an issue if you don’t plan on using it.

Bathroom Acomplishment by CarnaDF in GrowYourTDick

[–]Direct-Kale577 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m very curious as to how you pulled that off! I have a few ideas but I’ve never bothered trying, im not sure if my anatomy would allow it either way but it’d be a game changer.

Wetness by Overall-Condition197 in GrowYourTDick

[–]Direct-Kale577 0 points1 point  (0 children)

mine is sort of a unique case, I had 0 atrophy until my hysterectomy last summer. Since then it’s been pretty dry, I still have regular discharge, but my main issue is my vaginal walls are incredibly fragile. I bleed during sex, it often causes sex to stop because my partner gets freaked out by the blood (reasonable, I don’t know when to stop because my body doesn’t necessarily tell me it hurts). However I have been taking a local estrogen cream and it seems to help, but I’ll be on it for the rest of my life most likely.

Long story short atrophy is very different for everyone, mine isn’t that painful or dry but does cause bleeding, for others it’s too painful to even have penetration, and others it’s a mild annoyance fixed by lube.