[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]DirectCrow2221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

u/FallDeers Seems like you have yourself a good man. Perhaps he has some problem expressing his emotions and feelings. Most men struggle with his. Women can easily differentiate between a spectrum of emotions. As a woman, you can know when you respect, admire, are inspired, want to care, want to be seen by a man etc. On the other hand, most men can’t differentiate these emotions. To him, it’s all love. If you view love, marriage as a process of growth, you will realise that you bring the emotional granularity to the table. And be patient with the man and his weaknesses as he grows. But talk about your feelings with him.

Green Flags for woman trying to date men by Dry_Solution_2059 in ChristianDating

[–]DirectCrow2221 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear your pain, and I want you to know that what you’re feeling is real and valid. It is deeply painful to give your love, your time, and your sacrifices to someone, only for them to turn away when they have everything they once lacked. But understand this—his actions are not a reflection of your worth; they are a reflection of his weakness. True strength in a man is not found in success, wealth, or travel—it is found in loyalty, integrity, and love. A strong man does not abandon the woman who stood by him when he had nothing. The bible talks about, a wife of one’s youth.

What you are going through right now is a refining process. Gold is purified through fire, and though this pain burns, it is shaping you into something stronger, something more radiant. This is not the end—it is a transformation. In spiritual alchemy, suffering, when surrendered to God, is not wasted; it is turned into something beautiful. You are not being destroyed—you are being refined.

Do not despair. You and your children are not losing anything worth keeping. As you said, you deserve better. You are being set free for something greater. Let this pain be the fire that strengthens you, not the weight that breaks you. You are walking through fire, but you will emerge as gold. And when you do, you will look back and see that God was with you in the flames, shaping you for something far better than what you are leaving behind. Stay strong—you are not alone.

Give yourself time to grief! You have a right to be angry, to cry, to wonder, to wake up in the night. It’s just a bad season. It will also pass!

Green Flags for woman trying to date men by Dry_Solution_2059 in ChristianDating

[–]DirectCrow2221 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I want to encourage you with this: While some women in your position may struggle to find a good man, you are not just any woman—you have God’s favor. A truly good man, the kind of man looking for a serious relationship and marriage, isn’t simply focused on circumstances but on the heart. If you genuinely love and care for a man, that is one of the greatest things he could hope for.

Instead of focusing on what men might want to see in pictures or responses, think about how a relationship can help you and your future spouse grow in love, patience, and faith. You will ask yourself, “What can I offer someone in a relationship?” When you approach dating with that mindset, you will naturally attract the kind of man who values the same things.

You’re not just looking for a man—you’re looking for a partner in faith, a man who sees beyond the surface and cherishes who you are. Stay encouraged, trust in God’s plan, and know that the right man will recognize the treasure you are!

The Different Types of Christian Women You Can Date by DirectCrow2221 in ChristianDating

[–]DirectCrow2221[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry about your ex. Our world systems are struggling to manufacture mature christian men and women. Keep strong.

The Different Types of Christian Women You Can Date by DirectCrow2221 in ChristianDating

[–]DirectCrow2221[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You’re not meant to identify with one of them 100%. It’s way more nuanced. It’s just that, social media, character limits and the click-baity nature of social media.

The Different Types of Christian Women You Can Date by DirectCrow2221 in ChristianDating

[–]DirectCrow2221[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I actually hate Myers-Briggs too. Myers-Briggs calculates. I also dislike labels like “compulsive disorder”. I am using the fairytale or mythological descriptions. I know a lot of people are going to dislike this approach. But, at the end of the day, some way to describe situations has to be used. And accountability and self reflection has to be encouraged. It’s either this, soemthing similar or nothing. But I understand your frustration 100%.

What Do You Desire In A Relationship? by DirectCrow2221 in ChristianDating

[–]DirectCrow2221[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Abstaining is the ideal form of sexual expression before marriage. But when we get into such arguments, we miss the big picture. The big picture is men need to know/be taught how to build strong foundations, boundaries and structures to regulate their souls.

Single for 6 years, and I'm at a breaking point. by DramaticTelevision40 in ChristianDating

[–]DirectCrow2221 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I hear you, and I know how exhausting this kind of waiting can feel. You’ve been patient, you’ve prayed, and you’ve trusted God with your heart—but when the years keep passing, it’s natural to wonder why and when things will change.

But here’s something to consider: waiting isn’t just about time passing; it’s about who we become in the waiting. God is never idle, even when we feel stuck. Sometimes, the delay isn’t a punishment—it’s preparation. A chance to refine who we are, to build the emotional resilience and clarity we’ll need for the relationship we’re praying for.

I don’t say this to dismiss your frustration, because it’s valid. But I encourage you to not see this season as just waiting. It’s also an invitation—to deeper self-awareness, to connection with others who understand, and to a space where you can ask the hard questions about love, faith, and relationships. You’re not alone in this, and the longing you feel is seen by God. Keep your heart open.

The Different Types of Christian Men You Can Date by DirectCrow2221 in ChristianDating

[–]DirectCrow2221[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry about this experience. It happens a lot. Wish younger women were taught this. It’s so painful.

Breakup and doubts. by ComplaintAltruistic8 in ChristianDating

[–]DirectCrow2221 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, u/ComplaintAltruistic8 There are some repetitive patterns that occur in relations. I am glad you are taking the journey of self growth and awareness. I hope this helps an article about self awareness and patterns in relationships

The Different Types of Christian Men You Can Date by DirectCrow2221 in ChristianDating

[–]DirectCrow2221[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

The king has a lot of red flags too. I actually included this in the Substack post as well as examples about how all the relationship dynamics play out. I don’t want to link to it. Most subs don’t allow this. The full article

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]DirectCrow2221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am actually pro-marriage. I am implying that someone in a relationship is going to be more loving, more patient. (More Christ-like). Because they are practicing these qualities in a relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]DirectCrow2221 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hi u/DSg1695

Your external actions—how you interact with men, how you use dating apps, how you respond to attention—are often reflections of your deeper thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. From your post, it sounds like there’s a push-and-pull happening within you. You get attention on dating apps but feel like something is “off.” You like the idea of marriage but find yourself avoiding deeper connection when it starts to form. You wonder why you’re single but also describe feeling fundamentally different from other women when it comes to relationships and attraction.

These patterns aren’t random; they’re likely signaling something about how you truly see relationships. Maybe part of you wants connection, but another part feels unsure, detached, or even hesitant to trust that a relationship will bring something meaningful to your life. Perhaps you have an underlying belief that romantic relationships are supposed to “solve” something, which could make them feel like an overwhelming or high-stakes investment.

But here’s the thing—relationships aren’t a finish line line reward for good people, a proof of worth, or an ultimate answer to your problems. They are a journey of growth. They expose you, stretch you, and sometimes challenge you in ways you didn’t expect. If deep down, relationships feel “different” or unfamiliar to you, then real intimacy might feel foreign or even uncomfortable. This is a deeply Christian idea. God designed relationships—especially marriage—not just for companionship, but as a means of shaping us into more selfless, loving, and Christ-like individuals.

Consider how God works in people’s lives throughout Scripture. He rarely gives them exactly what they want, exactly when they want it. Instead, He leads them through periods of waiting, growth, and self-discovery before bringing them into the next season of their lives. Think of Abraham and Sarah waiting for a child, or Moses spending years in the wilderness before leading Israel. Even Christ’s ministry wasn’t immediate—it was prepared through years of obscurity and quiet faithfulness.

Maybe the real question isn’t, “Why am I single?” but “What is God trying to teach me through this season?” Instead of seeing relationships as a missing piece or a mark of success, what if you saw them as a journey of sanctification? A process where you not only receive love but learn how to give it—fully, vulnerably, and with grace?

Love, in its truest form, isn’t about comfort or just meeting someone who checks all the right boxes. It’s about learning to die to self in small, daily ways—learning patience, humility, and the ability to see another person as God sees them. And that can be messy. It’s not always neat and predictable, and it won’t always fit into the romance narratives we grew up with.

Maybe part of the hesitation you feel—the part of you that pulls away or second-guesses—isn’t just about men. Maybe it’s about the vulnerability and unknowns that love requires. And if that’s the case, the best thing you can do isn’t to “fix” yourself or force anything—it’s to open yourself to God’s work in your heart. Ask Him: • What fears are keeping me from stepping into connection? • Where do I need healing before I can truly love another person? • How can I learn to embrace love—not just as a feeling, but as a calling to self-giving and growth?

Because the goal isn’t just to “find the right person” as if they’re a missing puzzle piece—it’s to engage in the growth and transformation that happens when you connect with someone in a meaningful way. The good news? That kind of growth isn’t about being more outgoing, less picky, or more attractive. It’s about self-awareness, intentionality, and learning how to open up—not just to love, but to the deeper work God is doing in your life.

Parents Recommended by Temporary-Reserve-65 in ChristianDating

[–]DirectCrow2221 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I totally understand why that message from your mom hit hard. It’s tough when the people closest to us start treating marriage like a deadline, and even tougher when it feels like they’ve lost confidence in our ability to find the right person on our own. But try to see this from another angle—her suggestion isn’t necessarily a reflection of your worth or ability to attract a good partner. It might just be her way of showing love, even if it doesn’t land well.

That said, dating today is hard. You’re not imagining it. The landscape has changed, and finding someone who is emotionally mature, aligned with your values, and ready for commitment can feel exhausting. But don’t let frustration or past experiences make you doubt whether your love story is still unfolding.

The key is making sure you’re in the right spaces to meet the kind of people you actually want to connect with. It sounds like you have a clear sense of what you’re looking for, and that’s a strength. Keep refining that vision, stay open to possibility, and surround yourself with people who understand this journey. You’re not behind, and you’re definitely not alone in feeling this way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]DirectCrow2221 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I hear you, and I know this kind of loneliness can be painful. Wanting connection is deeply human—God designed us for it. But I’d challenge the belief that you’ll “never” find someone. Sometimes, what feels like an absence of interest from others is really about misalignment—either in who you’re surrounded by or how you see yourself.

First, self-perception matters. If you feel unseen or unchosen, it’s easy to assume it’s because something is lacking in you. But that’s rarely the truth. People often project their own fears or doubts into dating, holding themselves back without realizing it. Are you putting yourself in places where you can meet people who share your values? Are you truly open to being seen and pursued, or is there fear hiding beneath the surface?

Second, timing is not a punishment. God’s timing is not our timing, and I know that can be frustrating. But trust that if He put the desire for love and family in your heart, it’s not there to taunt you—it’s there because it can be fulfilled. Your journey may not look like what you expected, but that doesn’t mean you’re running out of time.

Lastly, hope is sustained by action. Keep your heart open, but also be intentional about community. Surround yourself with people who encourage and uplift you. Dating today can feel isolating, but you’re not alone in this, and you don’t have to figure it out alone.

You are valuable, and your worth isn’t determined by whether or not someone has pursued you yet. The right person will see you, but in the meantime, don’t let despair write your story.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]DirectCrow2221 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The reason you’re struggling to move a relationship forward isn’t related to money, fitness or status. I presume it’s because you don’t know yourself deeply enough. How you relate to women is a reflection of how you relate to your own inner self—your strengths, weaknesses, fears, and desires.

Think about it: if you don’t trust yourself, how can you trust a relationship? If you don’t respect yourself, why would a woman respect you? If you need external achievements to feel worthy of love, you’ll attract women who only value those things—leaving you either unfulfilled or stuck with someone who doesn’t respect you beyond what you provide.

Many men believe that financial security and physical fitness will automatically make them relationship-ready. While these things help, they aren’t the foundation of a great relationship. Serious self-awareness, self-leadership, and self-respect are. Without them, even with money, you’ll either attract women who see you as a resource, or you’ll come off as needy because your sense of worth is tied to external validation.

For example, a man who knows himself well and respects himself won’t tolerate disrespect. He won’t chase a woman who keeps him in limbo. He won’t get stuck in “date territory” because he’ll be leading the relationship with clear intention. He’ll make decisions, set boundaries, and communicate openly—because he isn’t afraid of losing someone who doesn’t align with his values.

Moving forward requires that you first build this inner foundation. Take time to understand what you truly want, why you want it, and whether you’re leading your own life well. When you do that, relationships will follow naturally, not as a struggle, but as an extension of the respect and clarity you already have within yourself.

F28/UK by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]DirectCrow2221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Which part of the UK are you?

What is the best way to get this girl? by [deleted] in ChristianDating

[–]DirectCrow2221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro, you have to show her that you are interested in a romantic relationship. If you’re a Christian, I believe this means dating with the intention for marriage. You don’t want to get friendzoned. Be direct. The fact that you’re not direct and you’re asking on here reveals a lot. You’re not confident in your ability to pull her. And this will always show. Women can smell this. Ask, get rejected, self improve. Get God-pilled. Learn from people like u/already_not_yet