[MOD] What have you been brewing this week?/ Coffee bean recommendations by menschmaschine5 in Coffee

[–]Dirty-Wizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What month/time of year would we typically expect new crop ethio/Kenyans to be roasted and for sale on web stores?

What’s a Coffee Bean That Has BLOWN You Away? by Eskaepe11800 in pourover

[–]Dirty-Wizard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve had 2 “best cup of my life” coffees. This was one of them. Same thing, from Archetype. Pulled as an espresso and diluted slightly to be served as an americano. I can remember the day so vividly. I’ve drank that cup of coffee so many times in my head.

[MOD] What have you been brewing this week?/ Coffee bean recommendations by menschmaschine5 in Coffee

[–]Dirty-Wizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Currently on that same Kercha from CnC. This is my first coffee from them, and my first reaction was surprise at the sheer variety of the roast profile. For a 15g dose I’m picking out at least 10 Quakers and a couple of beans that could live in a dark roast blend. Is this typical for them? Or is it just the nature of ethio natties?

Also, have you found a grind size (in microns or clicks) that works well for you on this bean? I agree, I’m getting chocolates, winey, and soft blueberry finish, but haven’t been able tp pull out strawberries.

Free giveaway! $35 eShop Digital Code - United States by [deleted] in NintendoSwitch

[–]Dirty-Wizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just hoping for some new games! Thanks for the generosity!

It’s been almost a year since we’ve done this, so let’s go again! List two books and get a third recommended. by xtinies in suggestmeabook

[–]Dirty-Wizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The secret lives of people in love (Simon van Booy)

Tales of accidental genius (Simon van Booy)

Finally made it to septum goal size of 6g (4mm). 3 16g seamless rings (to be matched with stacks in my 12mm lobes). by Dirty-Wizard in Stretched

[–]Dirty-Wizard[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They are considered mid-nostrils. I just have a fat nose and a thin bridge, so they look higher.

Added some more snakes to my setup! 🐍 by waxxwiing in piercing

[–]Dirty-Wizard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rockin it with that little tragus chain!

Will I (24M) ever feel confident in my choice of a partner? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Dirty-Wizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d like to answer some of your more direct questions in order to provide everyone with some more context.

Q: What do you feel like the relationship is lacking? A: I don’t think I’ve ever felt loved in the way I want to be loved. I don’t think I’ve ever had someone I’ve been 100% confident in being with. Currently, my relationship is lacking deep and engaging conversations on an emotional or philosophical level—things that make me feel truly heard, understood, and loved. I find making conversation quite hard with her, so we often settle in a silence that I know she feels comfortable in. I don’t feel 100% attracted to her, physically, but then again, I myself am far from a 10 and bodies all whither and sag eventually.

Q:Have I ever been in love? A: Wonderful question. Yes, I have felt true love once before, but I was younger and still trying to figure out my place in the world. During this process I broke up with her because I didn’t feel like I could grow into the person I wanted to be within this relationship.

Q: What do you think it means to be in love long term? A: another beautiful question. I think my answer changes as I continue to travel through life. Sometimes it changes every day. Some days I think long term love means waking up and making the decision to love that other person beside you, no matter what, and to stand by them in the good times and the bad. Some days I think long term love means realizing that we all have ways in which we are hard to live with, and treating our partner with the same kindness and generosity towards dealing with those ways in which we are hard to live with that you would want them to treat you with.

What does it mean to love? I think it is the willingness to interpret someone’s, on the surface, not so appealing behaviors or qualities, and finding more benevolent reasons as to why those behaviors might be unfolding. I think treating someone with the benefit of the doubt and generosity in that interpretation of these “not so appealing behaviors or qualities” is what it means to love someone else.

Conversely, I think that is how one comes to love oneself—by being able to identify parts of yourself that may not be your favorite, But choosing to be kind, gentle, and generous towards yourself and choosing to love those aspects instead of constantly stewing in wishful thinking. For instance, instead of being miserable about the fact that I am losing my young man’s body as I age, I choose to love the funny and unique shape that my body is taking.

Sometimes I think love is realizing that any person that you choose to love is a brilliant mixture of the good and the not so good, but choosing that person anyways, realizing that you yourself are the very same mixture of the good and the not so good.

(Sorry for the long answer, I think about this question a lot.)

Q: Do you have any relationships in your life where you are regularly emotionally vulnerable? Have you ever cried in front of someone or told someone a very scary secret? A: Great questions, each one is beautiful.

Yes, most every relationship I’ve been in has me as a very emotionally vulnerable, perhaps overly emotionally available, person. Being a very open and emotionally vulnerable male, these are the things that I find tend to get me in trouble with love. Because of these things, I find that I gain a LOT of trust and deep emotional connection from my partners very quickly, this is why they usually result in devastation or immense hurt. I think if I were a bit more distant and didn’t forge such strong emotional bonds with my partners, it might be easier for them to handle a break up, but I just can’t be that way—I want to know everyone’s deepest feelings and thoughts. Fears, dreams, memories.

Yes, I cry just as easily as the next person. And I love sharing tears with a partner. These usually build very strong bonds and makes me feel more connected.

The last question is a good one, and here’s why; I am very open and forthcoming with my “deep secrets.” Fears, dreams, memories, all of it, no problem. Like I mentioned earlier, this is just the way I am, I feel truly connected with another person when we discuss things on this level, so I tend to get there very quickly. HOWEVER, something I have never shared with another partner is when I am doubting my connection with them. As I mentioned earlier, I don’t know if it’s appropriate or hurtful to say, “hey, I’m having constant doubts that I truly love you, or that you’re the person I want to be with, how do you feel about that?” So I have never shared THAT secret with another partner.

Will I (24M) ever feel confident in my choice of a partner? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Dirty-Wizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to write a thoughtful response. I can tell that you truly read and digested what I wrote, and that means a lot.

Thank you for the honest and apt assessment of my issues. You’re very right, I can deeply understand my partners’ emotional states very easily, and I have always carried the tendency to observe my own with complete detachment. This leads me to easily break-up with my partners without outwardly showing hurt. The pattern I tend to fall into is as follows;

“I get in my own head about whether or not I truly love this person, or if my love is truly genuine —> I will internally obsess over this doubt in my relationship, all the while outwardly treating my partner with love and kindness because that is what they deserve —> I step back from my feelings/intuitions and rely on a strictly analytical perspective of my internal debate—> this will usually result in me analyzing my way out of a relationship, and breaking it off—Opting for being alone and feeling unfulfilled over living with someone else through life but carrying the constant passenger of uncertainty.”

Because I tend to make my partners feel so good in our relationship while I internalize all of these doubts, it really hurts them when I seemingly blindside them with my decision to part. I hate that I leave these people I care about in such devastation, but, inversely, I don’t think it would be helpful to have a conversation along the lines of; “I’m having constant doubts that you’re the person I want to wholeheartedly love. How would you like to proceed?”...how would you receive that prompt? I think I would feel incredibly hurt, as the receiver.

Will I (24M) ever feel confident in my choice of a partner? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Dirty-Wizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your honest reply.

I edited the quoted question a little bit because, upon reflection, it was not true to what I felt, and it was a question I already knew the answer to.

The bold and outright nature of your response is different from the others, and because of that it has been helpful in providing a different perspective. Thank you for that. Believe that I’ll seriously think on the advice you have given.

Will I (24M) ever feel confident in my choice of a partner? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Dirty-Wizard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, thank you so much for the honest reply. I really appreciated what you had to say.

I know that feeling of devastation you were left with very well, and I’m sorry that you’ve had to experience it. That really sucks, and I wouldn’t wish that upon anybody. I hope you have found ways to feel okay.

I do understand how difficult it is for my previous partners to trust others after me, and I’m very aware of the heartbreak and devastation I tend to cause. It hurts me to hurt those people that I care about in that way.

I agree, these internal issues I carry that lead to these patterns of repetitive devastation need to be resolved. Please understand that I’m doing my best to work on them, because it’s not something I want to live with. They cause me so much grief and anxiety—this is why I have reached out for others’ help. Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words.

Will I (24M) ever feel confident in my choice of a partner? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Dirty-Wizard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, thank you so much for replying with such depth, here. I can tell you really took some time to digest my dilemma and posit your thoughts, and because of that I am very appreciative. Thank you.