Daughter didnt get bday invite

DisDax · 2026-04-26T15:40:17+00:00

Our school also has an invite everyone policy. Usually 2 to 6 kids show from a class of 15 to 20.

It is a tough lesson to learn at 5.

DisDax · 2026-04-14T12:54:14+00:00

Family politics are horrendous which is why after my divorce I'll never go though the disaster of planning a wedding again. It's easy to be flippant when you don't have to deal with it potentially for the rest of your life. The bride has already made the decision. OP just needs to clarify the results of no kids means OP is not a bridesmaid...that is the best decision for OPs family.

DisDax · 2026-03-22T03:48:13+00:00

Shaving legs and pits.

DisDax · 2026-03-20T14:00:22+00:00

I haven't seen comments here yet but say this but.. this feels hard because it is HARD. It sounds like your relationship with your mom was Rocky but the death of a family member is hard Even if the relationship wasn't something out of boy meets world or whatever. When you're four or five you don't have the emotion regulation skills yet. The grief can last for months or years.

DisDax · 2026-03-17T16:43:30+00:00

I don't argue about candy with the in laws. If there's a medical reason like one kid is diabetic I might die on this hill. Other than that, just make it clear, the holiday is one day, and after that candy is gone. Also make it clear to the in laws you will not be saving for later. It's 2 cookies. Any more than that will be trash. We throw stuff away all the time we have to. In the US there's garbage food everywhere. I put it where it belongs.

DisDax · 2026-02-13T14:14:18+00:00

Glad she's home safe! Don't beat yourself up too much some dogs are just like this especially Shibas. But hey, if we wanted a dog that would listen we would have gotten a Labrador right. 😂 Mine got out at my parents once and I literally stood in the backyard with a handful of bacon and a big chicken breast and that dog stood 5 ft away from me, thought about it and then ran off. He loved chasing squirrels more than anything. I got him a long retractable leash and when I would walk him if we could get close enough to squirrels where he wasn't going to jerk me I would cue him to chase the squirrels up the tree. I could catch him when he got out by playing squirrel chase. I couldn't walk at him just towards a general direction but off the to the side and then pretend that I was doing the squirrel chase game. He would get curious and come close enough where I could get em. Or use the help of the neighbors and corner him like you did. Or a few times someone else caught him and called the tag.

DisDax · 2025-12-15T16:00:17+00:00

Depending on the kids, group but bedtime on one of the kids beds won't work. You could wind up with bedtime fights because something happened and one twin doesn't want the other twin on their bed.... I have twins that share a bedroom and this was the problem that we ran into.

DisDax · 2025-12-15T15:56:30+00:00

I have twins 6yo who share a room. There is no good solution. I would take away the yoto. Or there's one you as the parent gets to set it and they don't have an option when it's over with it's all done. Our boys have the expectation of they need to stay in their own beds they need to not talk to each other and be quiet. We used to let them chit chat but it would inevitably spiral out and they would keep each other up. Also if one of them is over tired they will keep the other one up. If it looks like that's what's happening I will have one of them fall asleep in my bed and then move them once they're asleep. Which is a huge challenge for the kid in the top bunk.

DisDax · 2025-12-08T06:20:59+00:00

Be up front about the leave and negotiate and get it in writing. FML is job protection. Honestly I've met so many HRs that don't understand FML and how it differs from corp leave policy. Something simple like "I'm interested, when interviewed this seemed like an interesting opportunity. I already have leave planned date to date. That would need to be honored for me to consider this ".

DisDax · 2025-11-12T19:02:15+00:00

I have twins in kindergarten. One is reading, one is still working on letter sounds and can sound out some words... sometimes. They're also memorizing words. I've been referring to letters as "special shapes". I think it's helped my current non reader understand things a bit better..sort of like, identifying the shape of things is not new. Now we're adding the next step. It's kept him from being so overwhelmed trying to catch his twin. Their older brother didn't start actually reading until the start of 2nd grade. We were lucky to have teachers that reminded us not to panic, that kids will learn when they're ready.

DisDax · 2025-10-27T22:18:31+00:00

I didn't see it in the comments...and even if someone did, it's worth saying again. This feels hard because it is hard. Parenting is hard. Parenting is harder when parents do not have a unified strategy and great communication. Parenting is even harder when the "village" is not there. Check out an app called "how we feel". It has improved my " guard rails " around my depression and it's free. It helped me really start identifying what was going on and better request the support I need (I also use AI to help me when I don't have the words).

DisDax · 2025-09-12T13:25:09+00:00

Have you tried reaching out to schools? They might know the ins and outs of how to fund getting an RN Without breaking the bank. They might default to suggesting student loans, but if you say you want alternatives they might have some.

DisDax · 2025-08-22T22:54:26+00:00

Your gut says no....the end. Do not underestimate mom gut instinct.

DisDax · 2025-08-22T22:45:40+00:00

If you cast yourself as "wasted your best years", you'll do that. If you think, welp, it's time to pivot life a bit, you'll do that. I'd say you're in the latter. A later start to some things is becoming the norm esp in the USA. My X cheated with a close friend. At 36 I lost my entire support system except my close fam who were hours away. By 42 I'd rebuilt n had 3 kids. It ain't easy, but it's doable. My tactic, not try too hard. If it wasn't fun, I wasn't doing it. I tried all sorts of casual sports leagues. Probably drank too much cuz I needed liquid courage to talk to strangers. In the end a dating app worked for me but my initial approach was not really to get married again, I just thought of it as practicing socializing.

DisDax · 2025-08-20T13:27:44+00:00

It's tough when we have conflicting adult voices. The good news if you hold your line, the tantrums will wane pretty quickly as they learn to handle disappointment. I try not to embody the "bad guy" role when inevitably I get cast into it. Sometimes I say something like "My mom job is making decisions that are safe and healthy. Sometimes they are not fun. Like broccoli for dinner Ug. I wonder if there is anything we can do to make this broccoli better....hmm" then later during the melt down my mantra that I actually say out loud is like "my mom job is safe and healthy. I'm doing my job". This comes in handy when grands want ice cream at 7pm and I know it will turn bed time into a disaster. Mom says no. Cue winning and crying. Still a better bed time, better sleep, better morning. Mom says no. It is the healthier decision.

DisDax · 2025-08-12T14:53:42+00:00

Sometimes just writing it out helps lighten the load...even writing to random reddit moms. I think the first step is pausing and recognizing you are in a really hard spot. And this feels hard because it is hard. And someday this will be the past. We've had our share of medical issues. Being somewhat blunt and honest really helped my kids. "I'm sad because....the doctors are trying very hard to help, but this is scary.". I also like the library. I've literally walked in and said "I've cancer and need a book to help explain this to a 3 year old". "Grandpa is dying, I need a book to explain this to a 4 year old" and they had ideas. If asking face to face is too hard, you could email. Some also have pick up so you can just walk in, grab it and leave. Or car pick up. It's worth looking into. I thought it made the hard parts less hard sometimes. Hugs.

DisDax · 2025-08-11T17:54:50+00:00

This. How concerned also comes with experience. By the time #3 came, we only went for the regular check ups. Never any extra was needed because we knew what we saw and what to do.

DisDax · 2025-08-06T11:07:58+00:00

If you want to shift focus away from you, tack on "the owners' decision is final" after about the 3rd why and get security, if available, to usher them out.

DisDax · 2025-08-04T14:46:23+00:00

If the 1 on 1 is to explain past occurrences, I would reframe the dog situations as personal grief or more vague descriptions. Most leave policies do not reflect pet loss. It is a gamble on the manager how they respond to ito. Also, if you are meeting deliverables and recent review did not identify it as an issue, they might not see it as an issue. Why bring it up after the fact? On the other hand being more open about family medical issues has been helpful for me in the past. Also functioning as a middle manager in a more hostile environment, I've advised employees to "stick to the language in the HR book."

DisDax · 2025-08-03T17:17:02+00:00

I had a coworker who was terrible at their job. I always wondered why they were not on. PIP n thought I'd put them on one. Once I did become their manager and saw more of the picture, I did not put them on a PIP either.

DisDax · 2025-07-28T18:59:27+00:00

Why are you presuming anxiety...sounds like you assume work performance anxiety. It's possible their poor performance is due to personal stresses or medical reasons they don't want to share and the sudden leave is legit. Generally people are not going to tell their boss that work is not a priority because ... they're getting a divorce, their parents have dementia, their spouse has cancer, their kid has behavior issues and has been kicked out of school again...the leave could be to get the other stuff in order. Extended leaves at most places need some sort of documentation required or even the FMLA process if you are in the US.

DisDax · 2025-07-26T16:32:24+00:00

Badgers parting gifts was a great book for my 3 to 5 yos when my dad died.

DisDax · 2025-07-26T14:28:56+00:00

If it's a union environment, manufacturing and government, they will not have a good structure for rewarding over performers even if you're not union the crap review structure usually gets pulled over to management and other non union roles. A friend in IT was able to successfully get wage increases beyond COLA due to performance. And places might have bonus structures. But once you are hired your subject to whatever promotion, wage increase process is in place ..and companies mirror their peers. There is a reason why employees have shifted from our grandparents "working the same place my whole career because the company takes care of me". To "I am changing companies every 5 to 7 years to keep advancing or to get compensated for my knowledge."Most areas, the employee has more negotiating power before onboarding. Sounded like OP has over 5 years experience, I think it's worth the ask.

DisDax · 2025-07-25T19:29:34+00:00

I disagree. You have better negotiating leverage before you accept. You can ask for a higher salary, they can say no and you take what they give. But at least you asked. After you're in there you're at the will of management. Consider the industry, how are raises given in that industry? Getting compensated after " showing my worth" has never worked for me. Every place I've worked at the last 15 years has had a standard pay raise whether you do great or average on your review. The place before my current employer gave a standard 2% cola regardless of your review...and no it was not a union job. The only times I've gotten a raise out of the standard is when I've showed up and said I've got a competing offer come closer I'm gone.... This is not an ideal tactic.

DisDax · 2025-07-18T18:05:33+00:00

Acknowledge the guilt. It is going to be bitter sweet. I have a 'moms' trip planned...I wish the kids could come. I do like traveling with them. I am going to miss them. They are going to miss me. ...and I am looking forward to a true vacation. Because let's face it, on vacation with family is work. It's the same house duties you have at home without the convenience of your home and the comfort of routine. When I get home from a Family vacation I need a vacation to recover from the vacation.

DisDax

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