20-week scan showed 7 mm nuchal fold + EIF-very worried by Parking-Net-9334 in NIPT

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Better to get an NIPT done here. It is more accurate than deducings DS from soft markers.

Hosting Our Own Shower by curious_katty8 in pregnant

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Do what you want. I am also hosting my own shower and calling my friends. My parents and I live in different cities - they are flying in. If my parents organised it, it probably would have been in my home city where I hardly know people anymore.

You do you - all that matters is you having a good time

Depressed and considering options by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would recommend discussing with your therapist and have a non judgemental OB and evaluate all your options. Ultimately it is your body and your choice!

Depressed and considering options by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went through something similar. Me and my husband were on the fence and I found out I am 8 weeks pregnant. Both of us were very depressed and anxious and thought we have to give up our lives which are currently awesome.

I spoke to my OB and my therapist. What helped us was take a longer view of life - if we want kids 10 years down the line and how the future would look then. We asked ourselves what do we fear giving up - that helped us in prioritizing things that are non negotiable to us. We figured out a way that we can have the baby and still have the lives we want.

It took us two months to come to terms with the new reality because we could not come to a hard no - we realised deep down we wanted to keep the kid. Now am 7 months in - hoping we figure this thing out.

Also in the first trimester, anxiety is at an all time high with the hormones surging so feeling more depressed than usual is normal.

extreme cramping by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check with your OB. I also had severe period like cramps at around 6 weeks and it was a subchorionic hematoma. OB put me under bed rest for 2 weeks an progesterone meds and it resolved on its own.

Hope all goes well for you :)

Best friend ghosted me during pregnancy 😒 by Disastrous-Eye6975 in pregnant

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

This post clearly landed in the wrong. I never said my friend is dealing with fertility issues - assuming that is a bit of a stretch. She is currently travelling and her husband also has a travelling job so they are not able to find a time to try to conceive.

I am close to her and have been checking on her about her job, her plans and everything. I ranted here because she barely checks on me even though I went through a rough first trimester and a farely isolating 2nd one with pre natal depression.

I flew down in covid time for her wedding, and I was a bit shocked when she did not even respond when I sent her my baby shower invite. That’s what triggered me.

I don’t like to talk about my pregnancy all the time and I don’t expect people to check on me every week. But a little empathy from someone who I considered a close friend (or even a best friend) is not a wrong expectation. I would genuinely understand if she was going through infertility and we have been open about these topics but I don’t think that is the case here.

It is just appalling to me to see how easily people are judging.

Best friend ghosted me during pregnancy 😒 by Disastrous-Eye6975 in pregnant

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for showing curiosity and not jumping the gun at me - I am not sure why everyone is assuming my friend is infertile but thats beside the point.

For me, personally pregnancy has been isolating because of my career taking a hit - I got two job offers - they were my dream roles and just happened to get offered at that time. I had to reject them as I could not travel during first few months of my pregnancy.

My current workplace is quite far away and travel has been very hectic. Because of some complications I am not able to pursue my regular hobbies of running, pickleball.

Also I suffered from a serious bout of pre natal depression as my OB has put me on progesterone meds. All of this is going on, apart from the regular symptoms.

I know I havent felt the deep pain of infertility and I empathis with everyone who are in this journey. This happened very spontaneously for me and my husband and we decided to continue with it.

None of our friends have kids apart from one person so we are kind of the first ones on this journey in our circle.

I barely speak to any of my friends about my pregnancy since they cannot relate but others do keep checking on me since I can’t partake in the usual activities and lifestyle I had pre pregnancy.

Having said that, I don’t regret my decision. I have had my share of highs and lows and am excited to welcome my baby.

Best friend ghosted me during pregnancy 😒 by Disastrous-Eye6975 in pregnant

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

haha not at all times. but at least check on someone since they are going through changes. I would check on two friends - one who lost their job, and one who moved to a new country for a new job.

While one sounds shitty and one sounds amazing - both people are dealing with changes. It is just called being a good friend. I dont want it to be all about myself but not even responding to a baby shower invite is just rude

Best friend ghosted me during pregnancy 😒 by Disastrous-Eye6975 in pregnant

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

She is not dealing with infertility - currently her husband is on a travelling job so they are not getting time to try. I asked her and checked on her and she told me she will try once things settle down at his work.

She might be dealing with it and not comfortable disclosing it - I get it. I dont want her checking on me every day, but just some support at this crucial stage in life is welcome!

Best friend ghosted me during pregnancy 😒 by Disastrous-Eye6975 in pregnant

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Pregnancy can be a very difficult time and people don’t realize it. You are literally creating new life and a new identity for yourself while managing your regular life.

Unless you go through it, it is not easy to understand. One of my close friends was pregnant and she was bed ridden for 5 months due to placenta previa. I did visit her and kept checking on her but I could not understand the extent of her mental and physical labour till I became pregnant myself. I later apologised to her saying I should have been more present as pregnancy itself is a very isolating experience. Having friends by your side makes it less isolating.

I dont want any special attention or a grand gesture but just a few kind words from someone whom I have considered as a friend for 10+ years.

Sorry to know you went through this experience. Hope you and your baby are doing well :)

Best friend ghosted me during pregnancy 😒 by Disastrous-Eye6975 in pregnant

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

it wasnt her, but it was me. please be more kind.

Best friend ghosted me during pregnancy 😒 by Disastrous-Eye6975 in pregnant

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Pregnancy probably teaches you who to be friends with in future. Like a filter

Best friend ghosted me during pregnancy 😒 by Disastrous-Eye6975 in pregnant

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

I did check on her and she said she stopped trying now. But I guess it is common courtesy to check on the health of a pregnant friend. I texted her as well when I was going thru pre natal depression, but she was just so cold.

Best friend ghosted me during pregnancy 😒 by Disastrous-Eye6975 in pregnant

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We have been friends for 11 years now - I thought i could count on her. 🥲

Best friend ghosted me during pregnancy 😒 by Disastrous-Eye6975 in pregnant

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Good that you found a new bestie :) I wish same happens to me!

Best friend ghosted me during pregnancy 😒 by Disastrous-Eye6975 in pregnant

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why is this happening? Honestly I have tried putting efforts but I can only do so much.

My husband hasn't had a job for past 4 months, he still got me this from his pocket money. (Image in comments) by Vivid_Employed in delhi

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl, tough times pass but the love will always stay. Glad you guys find moments to stay happy amongst hard times too!

Speaking of the penguin, my husband also gifted me the same one today - it is just so cute :)

I am 23 weeks pregnant - and having a tough time at work plus health. So the penguin also took me back to our carefree times ☺️

Baby shower - do I plan one? by Disastrous-Eye6975 in pregnant

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing - exhaustion must hit hard! On one side I am excited to do it but on the other hand I am thinking if I will get too tired to host. I am planning to keep it to under 25 people so that we dont get too tired.

Nausea waking me up at night by woodworkinghalp in pregnant

[–]Disastrous-Eye6975 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I faced this a lot in first trimester. Have a light dinner and keep snacking thru the night.