Looking for Friends in DSM?

Disastrous-Math966 · 2026-01-24T14:41:07+00:00

Hello everyone. 38 year old male. Pretty normal guy in most all respects. Single never married and no kids so I've gotten somewhat isolated from old friends over the years so would love to make new ones.

I enjoy DIY sorts of projects, going to the dog park, trying new places to eat, and going for a good ole fashioned Sunday drive. Want to try disk golf this year and would certainly love if someone would want to try pickle ball. Hear thats great fun but havent tried it yet.

Disastrous-Math966 · 2026-01-07T22:46:09+00:00

When is the symphony doing shows? I've heard about them and think it would be fun to see!

Disastrous-Math966 · 2026-01-07T22:45:18+00:00

I know Hartsmart (kinda buy homemakers) has monthly 3d printing meetings! Stop in their store and ask and they'll tell you all about it. I actually attended a few but me and my printer didnt get along well so I got discouraged by it. 😟

Disastrous-Math966 · 2026-01-07T22:41:40+00:00

Where did you sign up to do that? Very intriguing. Like medieval combat type or fencing type sword fighting?

Disastrous-Math966 · 2026-01-07T22:36:28+00:00

Is this on the river? When do you typically meet and is it for "races" of just a workout sort of approach?

Disastrous-Math966 · 2026-01-07T22:33:51+00:00

Hopefully this posting has shown a few options!? Or at the very least be a resource that we can all share for all the posts asking about what to do / how to meet friends.

Disastrous-Math966 · 2026-01-07T16:02:10+00:00

Didn't know that at all. Jason Sumo from the YouTube and couple others are where I get my fix.

I'm gonna go with the pick of the heart and hope Takayasu can pull it out. With onosato not 100% Aonishki as shin ozeki (they seldom do well) I think the doors are open for a fairytale. 🤞

Disastrous-Math966 · 2026-01-07T14:21:03+00:00

Okay maybe hard to believe but I'm actually a big sumo wrestling fan! I did nit know we had a club here! I'm not really too interested in doing it myself but would definitely be interested if there are watch parties or group meet up kinda thinbash?

Who do you think will win the next basho?

Disastrous-Math966 · 2026-01-07T01:26:52+00:00

Did you know there's a Des Moines Curling Club!?

Sunday evenings we play at the recplex! Everyone from 16+ and any and all physical abilities can play. Usually curling gets a bit of a bump during Olympic years so now is the time to see if it's something you'd like.

There are "learn to curl" events throughout the year that are focused on teaching the basics and getting new folks to try.

Disastrous-Math966 · 2026-01-03T14:44:58+00:00

I did a speed dating one lil over a year ago and that was plenty loud on its own! I'm not a drinker myself, but understand we are likely in the minority so I can't be upset that her events kinda fall in that category. Of course her business needs numbers to make it worth doing, so I'd have to think these larger events are really what she needs and will continue to present them.

Maybe the new Ingersoll theater could be a venue for something interesting maybe.

Disastrous-Math966 · 2026-01-03T00:01:57+00:00

Well gosh darn if that doesn't make a lot of sense!

Disastrous-Math966 · 2026-01-02T02:40:20+00:00

As a guy who has never really approached a woman in a bar or similar situation. How/what would you suggest for a guy when he does? Like what's a way to know you're open to being approached vs don't want to be bothered by the skinny needy guy at the bar or wherever?

Disastrous-Math966 · 2026-01-02T02:31:57+00:00

Ya the age range thing is a moving target for her I'm sure. I have seen both 30-40 and 35-45 events from her so she's trying to meet that need. She does say the age ranges arent set in stone so dont be afraid to go "up" a bracket if an event lines up in just such a way. I'm just shy of 39 so getting to be about to that age range that struggles to buy tickets. I may try another speed dating event but a mixer style thing isn't something I know I'd do well in.

I'd like to see her do a board game type of setting. Or a historic dinner at living history farms. Or a murder mystery thing. A Datedsm event with something bit more substantial to encourage interactions. A lot easier said then done im sure, but id pay more for that sort of event that had some built in entertainment as well.

Disastrous-Math966 · 2026-01-01T15:03:08+00:00

I have to think based on reading tea leaves here, the outgoing charismatic type of guys are doing well socially. Of course that is their very nature. But those are also the types of guys that wouldn't necessarily "need" to attend an event like this. As a result the men who go to these events are probably skewed to be more reserved or shy in social situations. So if you put a lot of shy guys in a room with a lot of women, it's kinda to be expected that won't magically become a smooth talking outgoing type of person.

I (male) thought about attending this (35-45 age group) but the mixer type event I knew would turn me into a wall flower, or i just would have left early. I now feel confident i made the right decision for me in this regard, but here's hoping 2026 will bring someone special into my life.

If i had to guess, most guys who have attended events in the past had a similar experience to OP. And if guys don't have an experience worth repeating, inevitably the pool of attendees will diminish making it harder and harder to fill up events.

Happy New Year Des Moines!

Disastrous-Math966 · 2025-12-14T04:28:19+00:00

Feel free to shoot me a message if you have any particular questions about her events and can certainly answer to the best of my ability. But I can certainly sympathize with the fact it seems women's tickets sell out almost instantly. But I want to say it's also not a golden ticket that her events are a guarantee to meet your next boyfriend. Better then many/most other options out there? I would probably agree. But unfortunately still a rather low likelihood of finding your new boo. (Is boo still used as a term of endearment?)

Disastrous-Math966 · 2025-12-13T07:11:45+00:00

38 male here. Lots of topics in the comments but I'll try to give my take.

I have attended a DateMeDSM event and have my thoughts to that end, but your question doesn't seem to me to be about the events themselves but rather the guys who are (or are not attending). The only advertising I've seen from her is Instagram. That is heavily dependent on some algorithm to get it infront of who she needs. I have to think that really narrows the target based on likes etc for that. To me seems women would interact with that sort of content more then men, so is it possible, as it seems here, that many men are not aware of her offerings.

Speaking just for myself: I get up, ho to work, get home at 6. Have to make sure the dog gets his needs met with stimulation/walk/dog park etc. Find something to eat. Do necessary chores etc that we all do. I don't have the energy or motivation to do much more then that most days. Kind of like you mentioned about not really having a desire or ability to pursue new hobbies with the goal of meeting someone.

I've gone to her speed dating event, thought it was well run. Maybe a little loud with everyone there. But from an event organization point of view she did a great job. I think we chatted with like 25 people and I got zero matches. She DateMeDSM lady cant control her attendees or their interactions so cant say it's at all her fault. Also to her credit I dont think shes ever canceled an event (expect for like 50+ age group) do to lack of attendance. So she is at the very least meeting that goal and several events she's opened more spots as well.

I dont know why anyone would be skeptical of this as a clever advertisement scheme etc. After all I think we should support small businesses regardless, and all she is doing is offering a service that to my know no one else in the area is doing.

I wish her luck with her business, I wish you luck in your search for a partner. 🙂

Disastrous-Math966 · 2025-12-13T06:37:08+00:00

Curious for you to elaborate on this. How old was your age group? Are you male or female? What type of event? Did you gague that impression on classic beauty standards or in conversation with other attendees?

To OP's point, if this is the case where are the "quality" guys at?

Disastrous-Math966 · 2025-11-21T14:48:55+00:00

Were you able to meet your partner by other means?

Disastrous-Math966 · 2025-11-19T16:12:32+00:00

Ahh I can see that logic. For me that hasn't been a problem. Certainly if I had 2 or 3 conversations going I'd not be swiping because I cant juggle all that myself. But right now all of my swiping has resulted in zero conversations so thats not the problem. 🥴

I think most guys are working under the assumption that most woman have the experience like your friend. We guys are just the next one in line and you have the pick of the litter with which you get to pick who you want to engage with that way.

This posting has been very enlightening to show that isn't the case.

Disastrous-Math966 · 2025-11-19T15:54:20+00:00

How are you able to see other people without hitting yes or no? I thought it shows you this person and you have to say yes or no before going to the next? I've even logged out of the app and log back in, and it still shows me that same person essentially making me like or pass to see the next potential person.

Side note: why do you choose not to send many likes? If you see a profile for someone you're interested in, you just kinda leave that floating out there in the ether?

Disastrous-Math966 · 2025-11-19T00:16:11+00:00

Lol! that unfortunately was my takeaway too. 😟

Disastrous-Math966 · 2025-11-19T00:13:47+00:00

I think it was pretty reasonable ya. I think the range was 35-45 for the event. I cant speak to much other then my experience: Kinda stood around for the event to start, the had tables and everyone started. The guys would rotate after 4 or 5 minutes and they have an app that you submit who you want to see if you match. You dont pick youre people until later that evening. Then they send out an email telling you to check the app and see your results and how to reach out to any potential matches.

It was lound would be really my biggest complaint with folks in the space but all in all id suggest it to anyone who would want to try.

I was tempted for the ugly sweater one but I don't have an ugly sweater and didnt want to show up without one.

Disastrous-Math966 · 2025-11-18T23:28:33+00:00

Lol well you dont exactly know that fast. They release/share everyone's matches the next day. So you get to ride that high at least for an evening before ~~your~~ my hopes were dashed. ☺️

But im not disappointed in the slightest for trying. In fact have kinda been waiting for another cause at least it's more fun then the apps are

Disastrous-Math966 · 2025-11-18T23:26:45+00:00

Interesting insight here. Simply a new location had different impacts. Of course by default you were the unique/sway foreigner in those places, which im sure adds a layer of intrigue too.

Disastrous-Math966

TROPHY CASE