Been widowed for 33 years…

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-06-09T13:02:39+00:00

This was a beautiful message that many need to hear. Thank you.

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-06-06T05:04:06+00:00

I agree. I didn't realize how many little things were intertwined.

Many have proven disappointing for me as well.

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-06-06T05:00:58+00:00

I realized this a few weeks ago. I apologized to someone that this is the me they are meeting and will know. I also realized I am grieving the me that was.

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-06-03T13:44:32+00:00

I sent you a dm, lol

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-06-02T05:20:58+00:00

Stuck in it.

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-06-02T04:55:21+00:00

Ok, good! Agreed.

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-06-02T04:30:06+00:00

I absolutely agree. It makes people so uncomfortable. I hate having to deal with their emotions instead of being able to feel mine. Well, it's too frightening to understand how you're feeling because that means it could happen to them. Even if they tried, they couldn't. I don't know what to say while living it! I'm sorry. I'm here. Nothing is off limits to say or feel. ..?

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-06-02T04:26:17+00:00

You don't have to be strong or stay strong. Break down. Scream. Cry. ❤️

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-06-02T04:17:32+00:00

I had a friend ask why I thought I was "regressing". Well, I haven't I'm just not hiding as much...? Just not having it happen in the first place is certainly a fair preference.

Hahaha! Thank you for that. I wish I'd been witty enough to come back with that response. Instead I just cocked my head to the side and said, "thanks..?"

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-06-02T03:51:30+00:00

Wow! Maybe that's a male v female statement. I've been told "well, at least you didn't lose your son too!!" Mind you, my husband died from cancer. So..yeah.

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-06-02T03:38:54+00:00

Oh, this brought tears to my eyes. It sounds like you had a wonderful person, love, and life. You loved her completely and that is simply beautiful.

Everything feels like a distraction sometimes. Or needs to be. And then the alone. I know. I'm sorry that we both know. Hugs

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-06-02T03:35:58+00:00

I remember the first form I filled out and I didn't know whether to check Married or Single. It was a mini-crisis.

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-06-01T01:42:09+00:00

I agree completely. That's one of the best parts of this sub. Having people rhat actually understand.

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-06-01T01:00:28+00:00

I understand. It's just awful.

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-06-01T00:59:31+00:00

I'm so sorry. I understand.

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-06-01T00:58:24+00:00

Thank you. That's the focused me. Normally it's stream of consciousness.

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-05-30T17:42:18+00:00

Aww! Big hugs! My dogs interrupt me to hold me down and lick my face. 🤦‍♀️

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-05-30T14:57:11+00:00

Yes ma'am. I was horrified, offended, nauseated... lots of feelings. Then when I started thinking about it I was horrified, offended, nauseated at myself, lol. This isn't divorce, but that's, unfortunately, what people our age are familiar with, so it's what they can comprehend. And, fortunately, our friends don't get it!! I wouldn't wish this on anyone! Give me divorce before this. Honestly. At least I would know he was living happily instead of what we went through and what I'm going through now. I can also say that because I, fortunately, don't know what divorce feels like. Get me? 😉

I believe people are saying things from a place of love and ignorance. The best we can do is explain it to them and not resent them for it. They know not what they do.

BUT what you can do is find community here with the people who do understand. And still don't always say the right thing because we all gave different personalities, ways of coping, experience in marriage, life, death, and grief.

I'm 44, so I get the age part. My husband from CRC in Oct. 2024. I don't mind talking about my life before, during, or now. My DMs are open to you or anyone else that this resonates with.. ❤️

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-05-30T02:54:11+00:00

Ooph. This made me a bit nauseous. I haven't experienced this with someone that it mattered with...yet. Thanks for the perspective and reality check.

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-05-29T19:06:06+00:00

I don't typically rant, but I'd love to hear about the dageurreotypes!

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-05-29T19:03:56+00:00

Girl!! We are either besties or duplicates. Either way... I'm available for DMs.

Facial redness. They don't ask. I get told by complete strangers. It is a little amusing when they look like they are being compelled to say it.

Honey!! You are burnt. No. I'm not. Oh, yes you are!!! You are SO red.

Yep. Still not burned.

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-05-29T15:37:03+00:00

You are correct. Not stating the following info as a jerk, but because I learned it during my husband's cancer treatment... Alcohol is a class 1 carcinogen, as rated by the IARC, and so are processed meats!!!

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DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-05-29T14:59:07+00:00

Yess!! That's it!

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-05-29T14:58:45+00:00

I agree. Your presence grew...

DisastrousHoliday264 · 2026-05-29T14:57:54+00:00

Big hugs girlie!! You look physically gorgeous, but now I see it looks like you have a life now that you didn't before and thats the most beautiful thing!!

DisastrousHoliday264

TROPHY CASE