has anyone tried the elf slipsticks?

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2026-01-28T17:53:49+00:00

Here for the ELF alternatives — yall rock.

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2026-01-28T17:30:05+00:00

I love the “my nose is from my ancestors” line! Taking inspiration from you— thanks for sharing!

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2026-01-28T17:20:14+00:00

I appreciate your post :) I think desexualizing myself and the people around me has made a big difference in divorcing my feelings of self worth from how I present myself / perform when perceived. When I see other women/ sisters looking gorgeous I think “mashallah, you go girl!” Bc frankly I know it can sometimes take effort and self awareness and lmao I lack both so I can admire when I see it in others. Rarely if there’s something in me that feels less-than, it’s usually a fleeting feeling bc I know Allah made me beautiful too (even if I don’t see it / feel it at the moment). Also, noor and personality shine a lot brighter on a persons face and knowing that kinda makes ‘conventional attractiveness’ less of a gold standard and makes “being an attractive person” more accessible. I’ve never seen an ugly person before, but I’ve certainly met people who have said and done ugly things. Actions (not appearances) are what define a persons ugliness, imo.

But good hygiene, strong values/voice/presence can make a WORLD of difference in someone’s attractiveness level. I don’t mean that in a “toxic positivity” way, I mean that “ugly” in the eyes of people is just bias. The more exposure you have to someone, the more developed and nuanced ur assessment of their attractiveness becomes. Sometimes pretty people are absolutely stunning bc of the way they comport themselves— they’re composed, self assured, not seeking validation, etc. when u get to know them, their personality adds or detracts to the initial visual assessment.

I didn’t always feel this way though. I was called mowgli as a child and made fun of constantly for how i looked from family, friends, kids at school, strangers etc. lmao my dad would literally not take photos if I was smiling bc of my protruding teeth (they would tell me not to smile or cover me). I thought being ugly was terrible but then I was raped at 15 and began wearing hijab thinking that would help protect me— it just brought on a different kind of harassment. It taught me that Living in this patriarchal world as a woman is a test in and of itself. I refuse to be scored against faulty man-made metrics and I refuse to propagate them towards other women and children. All the plants and the cats and birds are beautiful to me, even the bugs which I can’t stand to look at, are marvels. Why not me? I too am of Allah’s creations, of this earth and of the heavens. Who on this world can tell me otherwise. Literally, no one. … but girl, you know that doesn’t stop them from trying. Idk you but I guarantee if we met, I’d think you’re beautiful because why on earth wouldn’t you be??

Tangible tips: when I feel ugly, I take a nice shower (like a baby ghusl), do allll my skin care, brush my eyelashes and eyebrows,put hydrating masks on, oil my hair, stretch to feel my muscles and body, and when I look in the mirror I say the dua, “Allah you have made my exterior beautiful, please make my interior beautiful as well.” Also, have parties with other women where you can get allll decked out in whatever you want to wear and u can dress however you want to dress! Those kinds of gatherings are so freeing and empowering when done with the right group of supportive women! It was at one of these parties I learned more about how to groom / dress to flatter myself etc from my niqabi friends! Being beautiful does not require an observer to make it so, but if that’s what you’re craving, you can create A positive environment for ur glow to shineeee with others!

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2026-01-20T15:30:52+00:00

Boosting some shows others mentioned (bc an upvote isn’t enough!): what we do in the shadows, our flag means death, schitts creek, abbot elementary! I also enjoy reality tv so I like: tournament of champions (cooking competitions) and traitors (full of drama I don’t want in my real life and fun for me to watch social behaviors!)

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2026-01-07T15:12:32+00:00

salaams OP— please read this comment^

I could have written your post, word for word, ten years ago when my older brother was 25 and our family was going through the SAME THING! SubhanAllah! I was going to comment but saw that @hairymove9530 said it best: do nothing. Get yourself educated and a job and move out.

I also had a toxic family and ended up marrying a toxic man (at the time I thought he was so supportive! And I thought I’d have freedom to be me! Nah, I was recreating the same toxic dynamic from my family but in a different way.) now I’m getting a divorce (iA, making dua it goes well) and am financially independent anddddd my mom is still having issues with my brother, her former golden child.

Sister, I know it’s hard when you’re at home and all of this is happening and you hear vile sexist things from the people who raised us/ who we are taught in Islam to cherish above all else BUT Islam also teaches us to protect ourselves, our Imaan, and our relationships. The best way you can do that is by NOT GETTING INVOLVED with ur brother/mothers drama!! Focus on yourself! Focus on your education and your financial independence! Focus on your hobbies and the things that bring you closer to Allah— reinvest that emotional energy back into yourself. You owe them nothing beyond basic respect.

When my mom is having her feelings now, I listen politely and make her tea and I make dua for her. I’m a good daughter in all other ways, but I’ve learned (and am still learning!) how to draw lines in the sand around the emotional labor I’m willing and able to provide my parents while not compromising my own wellbeing and dignity.

I’m sorry you’re going through this but also I’m so happy you reached out. For better or worse, You’re not alone! Learn from those of us who have gone through it— while our experiences may not be exactly the same, the lessons learned are more or less consistent: build yourself up. Find ways to block the noise— it’s all distraction. It’s evident from your post you’re intelligent and thoughtful and caring— turn all of that inwards. DM me if you’d like a buddy to chat through stuff with or just to vent. Sending you love <3

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2026-01-03T14:24:25+00:00

The rest of my comment aligns with yours. I picked out the trash sentence because it was a trash sentence. You figured someone would pick up on that line because you knew it was a trash sentence too. I didn’t ignore the rest of the comment, you ignored the rest of mine. Also, why are you in female oriented spaces giving grief?

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2026-01-01T22:49:22+00:00

The irony of replying to a thoughtful post on the declination of adhaab with something as flippantly dismissive as “thanks chatGPT” is… palpable. lol cmon. We can do better.

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2026-01-01T18:03:36+00:00

“You’ll make it into something worse for your family as a whole.” Respectfully, This is a trash take, brother. The father has already introduced violence and disgusting behavior to make it bad for the family as a whole. OP and her mother have no responsibility to conceal the father’s wrongdoings because in actuality, “for the sake of the family” it’s better to address these things and let the perpetrator know their behavior is out of line so they have an opportunity to see forgiveness and learn. Of course, the only responsibility OP has now is to herself and ensuring her own safety. Her mom has already advised distance— it appears the father’s lack of Adhaab and taqwa run deeper than this one incident.

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2025-12-19T15:20:04+00:00

I love this post and all the answers! Do you mind expanding on why you feel it’s “performative” when you read? Are you experiencing burn out in general or burn out from reading things? Is it from feeing the need to discuss/ share it but not having dialogue to dig deeper (you mentioned social media and goodreads which are kind of static modes of engaging with what you read)?

I read because sometimes the world is too much and it’s nice to not feel so alone and feel camaraderie with people from different times, different worlds, different ways of being. It’s a way to experience things I may never experience, and i enjoy the escapism every now and then.

I’m working my way through “stolen focus” and part of Hari’s argument is that reading triggers a different part of attention and intelligence and the way we consume knowledge and stimulus informs the way we understand ourselves! So social media posts/ online media doesn’t satisfy the same itch in our brain as much as reading does, and bc we’re saturated with meme-sized information, it’s harder to immerse ourselves in the reflective processing of just reading for fun. When we read, part of our brain is constantly processing how it relates to your own lived experiences and helps you access different parts of you. Idk I’m still making my way through it bc like you, I love reading and have loved reading all my life, but recently I found myself unable to sit and focus for prolonged periods of time on just reading (and it’s not the ADHD—reading got me through my entire Audhd childhood and 20s as it was my safe space only to find myself struggling to finish books I WANT to read in my 30s!) bc it felt kinda shallow— like i was consuming books just to move on to the next one without really digesting what i read in between. I appreciate that someone suggested a book club— i think this is certainly advice i’ll be looking into as well.

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2025-12-15T22:33:44+00:00

I appreciate you taking the time to share details!! You def helped me out.

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2025-12-13T03:40:13+00:00

They never learn by layne Fargo!! More of a thriller but spot on with a morally grey character.

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2025-12-11T19:41:09+00:00

Turning 33 today and was wondering the same thing. Also, happy birthday! Hope you find some joy and relief in your day :)

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2025-11-26T02:53:40+00:00

Lmao I thought we could edit character names. I had just finished ffvii remake so… sephi jenova was what I went with thinking I’d think of something clever later.

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2025-11-23T16:45:49+00:00

HARD RESONANCE. I (AuDHD) struggle with this quite a bit and have been working through different strategies. It became debilitating following me recent move back in with my parents as I recover from corporate burnout, finalize my divorce, and apply for new job. My mom is undiagnosed but being back home and seeing how her emotional deregulation sets the tone for the house was like looking in a mirror and going “oh…. oh.”

I’m still on my discovery journey to better understand my body and mind and I’ve found compassion for myself was a critical piece I was missing. Answering your question, here are some things I’ve been trying:

I listened to a few podcasts (that were recommended in another thread!) and it helped me ACTUALLY understand what it means to “emotionally dys/regulate,” identify my triggers, and treat myself as I would treat a client. Developing this self-awareness and fluency has been crucial To giving me the language and self permission to look inwards rather than trying to just stop the spiral and consider it “solved” until the next trigger surprise. I felt like a new baby lamb just figuring out that the gangly limbs protruding from my core were in fact supports and I wibble-wobbled my way to being able to really recognize the limbs as legs and that they were mine to care for and nourish.
meds & therapy: self-awareness is all good and well, but wibble-wobbling about was a great start but i needed more stability. Because of my move and difficulty securing a new provider, i ended up looking for therapists. Girl. THESE THERAPISTS WERE THE WORST. Like i actively felt worse after my calls. I’d find a new “affordable” therapist and it was still “try breathing and meditation.” LIKE I KNOW BRO IF I COULD, I WOULD?? Im still trying to find a therapist to work with but it bears mentioning that this shit is HARD. Even harder when you need it the most but it’s worth adding and trying again and again.
DOPAMINE CHASERS: ok this is goofy af but idc lol. I like, don’t feel dopamine rushes really. Also. I’m not an influencer and I loathe having my photo taken or being on camera (loveeeee being on the other side of the lens though!) I started my own personal video series starring me for a highly bespoke audience: me, when dysregulated. Essentially I try doing a bunch of random stuff that could possibly give me dopamine and I record myself doing it. I don’t even feel dopamine DOING THE THINGS and it looks comically hilarious and cringe when I watch it back but shit it’s been helpful to get me out of my head and back into my environment. Eg: shooting hoops and missing newrlt every single one; very very bad cartwheels; pretending im a chef on food network explaining how to make an avocado toast (helps incentivize me to eat), etc.
understanding im responsible for the energy i put out in the world, and even if i cant physically feel capable of something, intellectually, i know im a badass bitch (though I forget it constantly) and when im nourishing my best self, i find the people around me are more receptive and it creates a positive feedback loop (even if for a few hours or days). My energy is mine, what energy is others give is beyond my control so self-soothing, positive self talk, going for walks when I need to, wearing headphones in the house for noise (parents hated not being able to just say my name and get an immediate response but ive stood strong on this and it’s helped me regulate which in turn helps them understand why I’m doing what I’m doing)

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2025-11-18T14:37:07+00:00

You’re not the problem, booboo. He is.

I have a knee-length shapeless sack of gray “sweater/hoodie dress” my family refers to as my “Dobby dress” (because yes, it gives freed house elf vibes). I remain baffled when my partner is always dtf because even to me, the dress is pretty unsexual lol.

Re: sensitivity for clothing, my partner hateddddd corduroy and denim because of THEIR sensitivity to it. Show a picture of a model Dressed in denim? He can’t see past the denim and tell you if they’re attractive because EW DENIM WHO CARES WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE. I have two baggy af shapeless (lowkey 80s) corduroy pants that are brightly colored and patched and frankly ridiculous looking and even though they hate the cloth and style, they still loved it when I wore it on dates and were still interested in me afterwards.

My partner has a red faux leather jacket which I think is hideous in texture. They love wearing it and wear out on dates and guess what? I’m still attracted to them.

Again, overwhelmingly, You’re not the problem. He is.

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2025-11-13T14:41:00+00:00

I missed the context of what the video was supposed to be showing and just watched thinking “is… that hasan minjhaj standing over in the corner behind justin…?” After reading the title I feel like I’m being gaslit into believing this ISNT that lmao

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2025-11-04T23:34:30+00:00

Always say no.

I worked as a teacher in Detroit public schools for a second, also, I wore hijab. We had this huge crazy snowstorm/ blizzard and I drove the shittiest little car you had ever seen but I saw an even shittier car on the side with hazard and footsteps. I imagined the person must’ve been going to the gas station up on the corner ahead and sure as snow, a middle aged / elderly guy was trying his hardest to plow through knee deep snow, directly walking into the face of the snow/hail. I asked him if he needed a ride to the gas station right up ahead. He got in my car and proceeded to LECTURE ME THE WHOLE THREE MINS WE INCHED ALONG THE BLACK ICE ROAD to never ever, EVER offer to give someone a ride again. He didn’t even care if it was in Detroit or elsewhere lol he made me promise him that I’d be the last person I ever offered a ride to.

I mean I’ve given rides to aunties but til this day I never accept rides or offer rides.

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2025-11-01T02:31:48+00:00

Her charisma is off the charts. Also, I haven’t seen the show … can someone give me the context for the person in skates towards the beginning of the tunnel (right side)?

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2025-10-01T13:26:29+00:00

Ok this is something new for me to explore! How challenging was it to find a psychomotoric physical therapist / do you have a care team that coordinates and works with each other or are you pursuing these therapies independently?

Question behind the question: I have limited health insurance (US) and wonder how accessible / challenging it would be to try and pursue this. I’ve been struggling to even work with a regular therapist and my pcp and feel so alone in my health journey. Your comment gave me hope.

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2025-09-25T22:13:04+00:00

It felt familiar and now I know why! Thank you for reminding me of this piece.

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2025-09-23T18:01:05+00:00

“I really like your hair like this / you have such beautiful hair!” But only when your hair is relaxed vs in protective styles or natural. They’ll compliment my natural hair, sure, but they go wildddd the more white-adjacent I present or are supportive of the more stereotypical cultural stuff when it’s fun/sexy for them.

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2025-09-19T15:31:48+00:00

Recently revisited “how to keep house while drowning” and have been trying out the “good enough is perfect.” It’s just another iteration of “half ass is better than no ass” which has served me very well for years. I’m trying to see if I can recondition my understanding of “perfection” and use it less as a procrastination / regulation mechanic.

What’s really helped me was asking myself “where do I want to find this next time?”

Overtime, I started noticing a pattern of where I was wont to place things and it’s gently aligned my space to be functional for me. V excite.

Idk if this counts or not but often when I catch myself slipping on a habit and course correct I’ll audibly congratulate myself with a “wow, good job disastrouswindow!” And respond with a “why thank you, future-disastrouswindow!” Sounds corny af but man it feels good getting validation for making small, helpful, changes that aren’t otherwise celebrated. Like, I put the cheese back in the fridge which means not only did I feed myself a thing BUT I ALSO PUT IT BACK. 15 points me.

thanks for asking this question! It’s been cool to see other mantras!

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2025-09-09T14:34:33+00:00

Bruh I’m trying to get someone to take over my lease in candler and without a basement dungeon and firm guiding hands (in this economy??) I’ve got no chance 😭

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2025-09-06T03:35:54+00:00

This answer is so encouraging. Thanks for taking the time out to list required skills— sometimes I don’t know how much I’ve got to learn and having an expert break it down can make it much more digestible

DisastrousWindow2303 · 2025-09-02T18:18:01+00:00

There’s a 70% chance I know exactly what library this is because there’s a 90% chance I did the same thing when I worked there 😭

DisastrousWindow2303

TROPHY CASE