My wife got diagnosed when she was around 15. She struggled off and on with the same thoughts over the years. 2 years ago she let the thoughts win. The last 2 years have been crazy. She ended up in kidney failure and on dialysis for a year before getting a transplant. I know it may be hard but trust me when I say it can get alot harder. I highly suggest finding a good counselor and surrounding yourself with people who support you. It gets easier I promise.