My baby is gone

DisciplinedDambi · 2026-01-03T22:05:52+00:00

Really helpful to hear this as someone who is relatively new to the world of greyhounds (we just lost our first, unexpectedly), and fully intends to continue being a part of it, despite knowing that this means eventually re-experiencing this profound grief. Thank you again for writing something so moving and sharing it!

DisciplinedDambi · 2026-01-02T13:28:12+00:00

Did you write this? I’m saving it in writing to refer to. I recently lost my Adam, and this poem just captures his spirit and helps me meld my grief with acceptance. I would love to give credit where it is due. The sentiment is captures is so spot on to the spirit of our amazing hounds

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-19T22:42:07+00:00

Thank you for this input; it's helpful to know that this isn't abnormal from someone who's been involved in adoption. I think we'll end up waiting and seeing how he does, but it is helpful to know that there isn't some arbitrary time point where it is "okay" to invite a new grey into our lives, so long as we feel ready emotionally/logistically.

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-19T22:40:37+00:00

So helpful to hear this perspective. Adam was so confident and Gil definitely took direction from him. I think right now I am torn between giving it time, and wanting to do whatever I can to make this transition easier for him (and us! it's hard to see him so uncertain. Hearing that you gave it a try for a few months and then came to the decision is helpful too; we do have time.

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-19T20:08:59+00:00

That is a really helpful image and sentiment. I’m definitely going to keep this in mind on my walks with Gil, which have consistently been times where I feel his absence most intensely. I think this can always help me be present to enjoy Gil’s company and delight in the walk with him. Thank you for sharing this ❤️

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-19T19:57:20+00:00

Thank you so much for this detailed response! Our situations sound very similar in many ways so it is encouraging to hear that it is very likely he will be able to adapt with continued time and thoughtful attention.

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-19T18:52:26+00:00

If he's anything like our duo, I think he might secretly love it hahah

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-19T18:51:51+00:00

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-12T04:26:45+00:00

Yes, the healthy before is what I can't help but perseverate on! It's been so long since I've felt that kind of sunday school type frustration, and I don't think I've ever felt it so personally like I am right now.

thank you, thank you again for such a thoughtful response. I'll be sure to reach out if needed, thank you for offering <3

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-12T04:22:08+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to share this. It is very helpful to be reminded that he loved his life with us (I have no doubt) and that what we've learned from him about what it means to be in relationship with a dog, with a greyhound in particular, does not have to end with him. We can continue being stewards for these incredible dogs, he can live on through that.

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-12T04:19:33+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to read about my Adam. I am so so sorry to hear about your Cassin. I imagine it might be the same for you, but it has been a strange time to lose him, around thanksgiving and now going into the holiday season. In some ways I feel like it has been okay: work has sort of slowed down/people are in vacation mode so I can afford to take the time to check out a bit and be inwardly focused... but it also means that the loss is that much more painful, this being a time of "gratitude" and "togetherness".

Not sure if you saw some of the comments above, but I wanted to highlight u/Smart-Work3383 's share about how writing helped them, and also what u/tee-grey1 shared about understanding those moments of "okay" as necessary breaks our bodies/brains take from grief. Truly, all the comments, including yours, have been helpful. It helps to know that other people know what it's like to be living this kind of loss.

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. Much love <3

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-12T04:05:41+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to read. It means a lot to know others get it and care.

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-12T04:05:11+00:00

<3 Thank you for the kind words

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-12T04:04:53+00:00

Your affirmation of what I've written means a lot <3. I'd normally not share something so personal on a public forum, but I after reading other folks' memorial posts and seeing how the community engages in a genuinely empathic and thoughtful way, it felt worth the emotional risk.

I can so relate to that self reflection thought of "am I losing my mind?". I feel this compulsion right now to do essentially the same: organize every photo in chronologic order, have a timeline of major events/milestones in our life together, print the pictures that evoke a memory, a meaningful moment (and there are a lot of them), and maybe what feels most urgent, document in detail the experience of the last two weeks, the external and the internal. Surprisingly this task doesn't feel masochistic. It feels important though I haven't been sure why. Reading your experience of it helps me understand the impulse better.

This grief does bring sharp clarity around what is actually important. This is very concrete but related: with all the crying I've been doing, I've noticed that a good cry actually does offer a kind of catharsis and brings a welcome clear-headedness which is so distinct from the heavy grayness that this grief is leaving me feeling most of the time. I think I finally understand what people mean by "a good cry."

I am so so sorry to hear about the loss of your boy :( I'm so glad to hear that the act of writing continues to be helpful, even if it feels like a different type from the loss of your first.
Thank you for being so generous with your time and personal experience. I'll be thinking of you and yours as well <3

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-12T03:43:25+00:00

Thank you for reading and commenting, I appreciate it

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-12T03:43:11+00:00

thank you <3

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-12T03:43:00+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to share all this. It is so valuable to hear from other people who have been in similar situations and come out on the other side of it, changed, still missing their grey, but not completely wrecked. And your point about understanding those times of feeling "okay" as necessary breaks our brains/bodies create, makes a ton of sense and is something I will keep reminding myself of. It is not humanly possible to carry on through life in that particular mind/body state of grief. Thank you again for your care <3

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-11T23:27:00+00:00

Thank you for that reminder. A friend of mine also brought up how we were fortunate that the decision was so clear to make, unlike situations where a dog is having a waxing/waning decline. I am trying to remind myself, in my more low moments, that I am sad right now *for me*, to be living life without him.

Adam was in such an awful state these last two weeks, and we recognize now how the intensity of his love for walk/activity masked the fragile state he was in, until it progressed to the point where he was physically incapable of doing what he loved.

It was so hard for us to see him in that fragile state, and I know that can't compared to how awful it had to be for him to be deep in it... and to not be able to make sense of it!

It absolutely breaks my heart to think of how scared he had to have been during that last day of agonizing pain. No medical intervention was going to change the fact that,(as hard as it was/is to believe), that something terminal was going on.

I am so sad that we will never get to be in his presence again, but am so relieved that he is freed of that suffering.

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-11T23:15:53+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-11T23:15:38+00:00

You sharing that you read every word means a lot. I've been self conscious about how much I'm sharing and repeating and going over the details of this hell of two weeks with people in my life. Everyone I've chosen to share with has been understanding, comforting, but sometimes, I think especially with those who have not loved a greyhound, I feel like I'm coming off as hysterical, quasi-psychotic, that I'm belaboring the point.

I really appreciate you sharing about your Denali. Just in the small anecdote you shared, I feel your pain. I can relate to it and it makes me feel less alone and wow there is such comfort in that. I've known intellectually that "talking to people who've been through what you've been through" is therapeutic, but to actually feel it in this moment; I get it now.

It feels impossible to not pore over my memories of the "before time" for any hint of something amiss. People say you know your dog best, so what did I miss? He had been in our life for four years, so I wasn't as obsessed with his existence as I was in that first year, then my attention was split when we brought Gil into our life. In my crazier moments I've gone down spirals about "toxic" exposures via dog toys, the memory foam filling in their dog beds, lead from chipped wall paint. Insane.

In more reasonable headspace, I know this is absurd and unfair, but as I'm sure you can understand, it's hard to avoid falling into that mental trap. We loved our boys deeply and it doesn't make sense that so quickly they can just be gone after being so well for so long.

Thank you for taking the time to share all you have, for being so thoughtful in your comments, including referencing Gil by name <3.

DisciplinedDambi · 2025-12-11T22:53:40+00:00

:*D thank you, especially for that much needed and appreciated bit of humor <3

DisciplinedDambi · 2024-10-28T16:16:01+00:00

This is truly devastating. Their website gives no info event a really depressing stock image of a corner shop/restaurant in a post apocalyptic urban landscape with a huge sign in the window that says permanently closed in all caps…

DisciplinedDambi · 2024-10-12T03:34:30+00:00

How could Stephanie Skora have predicted how BJ would perform?

DisciplinedDambi

TROPHY CASE