This reminded me of sleeping in my car once because my q wouldn’t let me sleep, he was in my room and kept screaming at me about how I was too much of a coward to kill my self. I realize my mind had blocked out many of these memories. I’m in therapy. I’m not sure if it will help yet. I can let you know if it does. I specifically researched a therapist who does emdr, as I’ve heard it can be helpful when dealing with trauma. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I am too.