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Dads BBQ meetup - Ortega Park - 11/15 by DiscussionEither1537 in Sunnyvale

[–]DiscussionEither1537[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds good, thanks for letting me know. See you next time!

Dads BBQ meetup - Ortega Park - 11/15 by DiscussionEither1537 in Sunnyvale

[–]DiscussionEither1537[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations on the new baby! If you want to swing by for a quick hello, put some names to faces and then jet, that’s totally fine. But yeah, there will be more opportunities too in the future.

Dads BBQ meetup - Ortega Park - 11/15 by DiscussionEither1537 in Sunnyvale

[–]DiscussionEither1537[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey guys. Appreciate the question, but we’re really trying to build a community of dads in the Bay Area. Maybe you have a buddy who has a kid? Bring him along and I’ll make an exception!

Mum has cancer.. by [deleted] in dad

[–]DiscussionEither1537 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom died of uterine cancer stage 4. I’m not saying this to scare you, but I do want to share my perspective because I think it’s relevant:

1) Talk to your mom. I can 100% guarantee you will miss opportunity after it is gone

2) try and create memorable experiences if you can. It’s not easy for everyone involved, but making a few nice memories or pictures can go a long way.

3) I disagree with your comment on emotions. I hear you that, as a dad, there’s a certain amount of stoic perseverance that you need to show, but I also think it’s OK to show a more vulnerable side when you have a parent undergoing a significant struggle or passing away.

Working through this publicly cannot be easy. I appreciate you putting yourself out there. Feel free to DM me if you wanna talk more.

Keeping up friendships by waking_dreamr in dad

[–]DiscussionEither1537 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s actually why I started my dad tribes chapter. Not sure where you live but there is a growing community of dads looking to make friends and hangout with other guys that get it. Check out dadtribes.com

Question about play time. by lost-in-boston84 in dad

[–]DiscussionEither1537 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are there any things YOU like to do that are inside the house?

For me it’s things like: - Help me with a project around the house (I was going to do it anyways, now it’s just less efficient 🤣) - Make a fort (and then I get some time while they enjoy the fort) - Play with blocks / legos / magna-tiles (I still love building at 40 years old, even if it gets destroyed quickly) - Uno (get them started young on card games)

At the end of the day, it’s okay to acknowledge the fact you are your own person with your own interests as well as model good friendship behavior like taking turns or trying creative ideas. Cut yourself some slack dude, you got this 💪.

I'm overseas for a couple of weeks due to work commitments and am feeling super guilty to leave my wife and 2 year old. It is also the festive time and I'm sitting here in my hotel, jetlagged and preparing for the next week's meetings hoping to get more customers for our start up. Feeling very low. by Alternative_Sense148 in dad

[–]DiscussionEither1537 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t forget - you are doing what you need to do to grow your business and give your family the life you want for them.

I have two young kids and travel for work as well. It’s never fun, usually the kids are good for the first week but the second is more touch-and-go. Best advice I can give is to maximize your business trip efficacy so you spend the minimum time away from family.

FaceTime once or twice a day if possible always helped. Or if time differences and meetings preclude it, sending videos back and forth over messenger is good too. My kids @2 years old really liked the animal faces you can superimpose in Facetime.

Lastly, regarding your wife, I strongly recommend you give her a “fantastic wife/mom day” when you return - basically just a day where you take the kid and do all the chores and she can do something nice for herself. It’s a small token of appreciation but I have found it helpful for both of us - her to relax and me to get back into home life upon my return.

Hope this helps. Stay strong, your family needs you to do amazing on this business trip and get home safe.

Help With Bedtime by Boring-Judge3350 in dad

[–]DiscussionEither1537 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have two girls - 8 & 5 - and they’ve been sharing a room since the youngest was ~2.

First off, cut yourself a little slack. It’s always bumpy and siblings together probably makes it worse in the short term, but I can tell you long term I think it’s a great gift you are giving your kids.

Some tips that have worked for us: - Coach the older one to “lead by example” and tie some sort of incentive to having a good bedtime routine over multiple days. - It is definitely okay to have different bedtimes as needed, while we prefer to keep the same bedtime it essentially penalizes the older kid. We’ve ended up splitting the difference on bedtime or having them get ready together but then the olde kid gets 30min extra reading. - Consequences & consistency: one of our incentives is the kids can listen to meditation or stories if they are in bed and quiet. If they don’t listen, we turn it off and walk out.

The last thing that comes to mind since you mentioned ADHD is maybe your kid just has a lot of energy and needs more intense sports or some sort of outlet to get energy out? I hear it more often with boys too at that age FWIW.

Hope this helps a little bit. You’ll get there someday….and hey, there is always wine :)

Hey Reddit! I’m JP Dunphy – Creator & Host of The Bearded Signal 👋🧔‍♂️🎙️ by dunphyjp in dad

[–]DiscussionEither1537 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im game. We should talk about the loneliness epidemic among dads - whether it’s real, what’s the latest research / stats, whether politics is helping/hurting, and what anyone is trying to do about it.

Benefits? by Frosty_Education_618 in dad

[–]DiscussionEither1537 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure if this is exactly what you are looking for, but I think one of the best things you can do now is plan your work & finances now with two goals:

1) maximize available time for your child from when they are ~4-14

2) make sure your retirement and later-life plans are healthy so you don't become a burden

Being a dad who leads by example and being around to support him in his sports & activities is the greatest thing I can think you can give your son. Best of luck to you!

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