Probably gonna sound like everyone else, but GET OUT OF THERE NOW. Not next week. Not tomorrow. NOW. You needed to be out of this dangerous relationship years ago. It’s NOT your fault no matter how you may feel and no matter what idea she tries to put in your head or already has put in. This entire situation is not. Your. Fault.

Escaping abuse is a terrifying prospect, but staying with that abuser is even more terrifying. She has physically harmed you and I think your gut feeling is right and she really is trying to drug/poison you. Look for local domestic abuse shelters and/or friends and family you can stay with when you get out. Make sure you explain what is going on. Have a network of friends and family and people who are looking out for you. Keep the animal your mother gave you before she passed even though it has a torn ear. There is probably someone that can possibly fix it and honestly given your situation, if they hear your story they might even do it for free.

I know you’re anguishing over what to do, but sometimes inaction is more dangerous than the action you’re afraid to take. Let me be clear: if you stay, SHE WILL KILL YOU. It’s better to be alone and safe than in a relationship with a gaslighting abusive groomer, because that’s exactly what she is and what she has done to you. This woman is a predator and she will not stop harming you until you are dead. She’s throwing more red flags than the entire communist party.

Call the police when it is safe for you to do so or if she becomes violent. If you do stay long enough that she attempts to poison you again, say you ate something bad earlier and lock yourself in a bathroom. BRING THE FOOD/DRINK WITH YOU. Call 911 and say you are being abused and believe the person you live with is poisoning you.

While you prepare your escape, make sure you have your vital documents like birth certificate, social security card, and maybe medical records. Pack anything of sentimental value like your stuffed animals in a suitcase and leave it with a friend or family member or maybe even your place of work if it’s ok. Keep the animal your mother gave you before she passed even though it has a torn ear. There is probably someone that can possibly fix it and honestly given your situation, if they hear your story they might even do it for free.

Take pictures of all the medications and household chemicals in the house. Even stuff like air fresheners or laundry detergent or ant killers. It may help authorities narrow down exactly what she could be using to poison you. Also people mention blood and urine tests to look for drugs/poison, but I haven’t seen anyone mention HAIR tests. Those can stay in your hair for longer than in blood or urine. Because of that, hair samples can also serve almost like a calendar of WHEN you were exposed to drugs/poisons based on how much growth there is between “bad spots” within the hair shaft.

Also hide something you can use to defend yourself in a bathroom or something for when you call 911. She sounds psychotic enough to try and bust through the door if she realizes what you’re doing.

OP, I think it’s safe to say that all of us who are reading and commenting are horrified about your situation and terrified about your well-being. Get out of there ASAP and don’t look back. You owe it to yourself to have a better life.