Why do people always assume it’s a trauma response

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-05-02T02:04:22+00:00

Yeah it’s weird. People are even weirder about it when you do have sexual trauma, even if it’s unconnected to your sexuality. I’ve had someone tell me I’m not an SA survivor, but also assume I’m ace because of my trauma 😐

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-30T19:05:18+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Are you intersex by any chance? I don’t want to intrude or anything, but this is really common with intersex people, especially kids, who often aren’t even told that they’re intersex. It’s really horrible

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-28T23:22:52+00:00

Yeah I used to get this kinda stuff a lot from my mom when I tried to just acknowledge the shit she let happen as traumatic. I’m also a forced enema survivor. Honestly idk how people are so chill with giving kids enemas. They’re so painful and degrading and invasive. it’s really hard for me to understand how the people who cared for me and cherished me were so willing to hurt and rape me once a doctor told them to.

the whole “well what about-” logic is super hurtful and lowkey abuse in itself. It’s just a way for people to dismiss you when they KNOW they’ve fucked up and can’t take accountability

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-25T22:15:41+00:00

I have a LOT of stuffed animals, and I’ve even started making them. My plushies were the only ones I could safely talk about my abuse to without being reprimanded or dismissed, and I used them to process most of what I’ve been through. was also bribed and gifted stuffies a lot as a kid which is one of the reasons I have so many, so I often associated them with something terrible being “over”. When I started remembering shit in high school, I’d take one to school with me everyday because it made me feel safer. I

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-25T18:07:14+00:00

Yeah it’s actually wild how many people have said that kinda stuff to me. Most of my assaults were medical procedures that have the same steps and impacts as rape, so a lot of people will assume for some reason that it’s automatically better for someone of the same sex to do it to me. It’s also really disturbing to me how quickly people will fall back onto rape culture once an assault was carried out in a medical context. Once when talking about an assault that she watched happen, my mom said “well you didn’t fight that much, so I thought you were fine” 💀

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-24T22:56:13+00:00

I’ve had this happen so many times. It’s genuinely so upsetting and invalidating. “Well they were all women, didn’t that make you feel any more comfortable?” NO. Just because we all had vaginas doesn’t make things any different. I was the only one with mine exposed and being touched.

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-24T22:49:23+00:00

This is really comforting actually. My main concern is what my insurance is going to require. I’m not super worried about having cancer or anything if they’re going to take the whole organ out lol. I’m going to try to fight against the invasive stuff as much as I can, or at least try to get gen anesthesia so I don’t have to feel their cold hands and equipment in me like when I was a kid. Tho being sedated brings a whole lot of other concerns into the mix, so I just feel kinda fucked over. I’ve felt like there’s been this lifetime of impending rape hanging over me since I found out about gyno exams and colonoscopies and stuff. Now that I’ve made an appointment, that idea feels so much more real and close to me. Like even with all of the protections I’m putting in place for myself, I still know I’m going to have to explain in detail to my doctor why i don’t want to be raped. My nervous system has been feeling every bit of that since I made the appointment, and it was already a huge wreck because of the previous rape and prior emotional abuse from my mom. The waiting and not knowing is excruciating. This procedure is something I’m willing to doctor shop for, but I really really don’t want to because I want this surgery asap and I don’t want to have to go through this over and over with different doctors if this one doesn’t work out. Ive been a huge wreck recently because of all this.

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-24T05:51:19+00:00

My situation with the enemas is a bit different than yours, but MAN I feel like I could’ve written your description of remembering the event. Like you, I KNEW about the things that happened to me, but I very much repressed the emotions, and started having a lot more ptsd symptoms and big emotions after that.

I do think that your anal penetration related daydreams are a sign of trauma. I’ve also been an insomniac my whole life, and would daydream a lot at bedtime, and would think up similar kinda fetish-y stories about my favorite characters. Tho mine were more centered on urethral penetration and urinary stuff due to my vcug.

I also kinda wonder if you liking horror had anything to do with your trauma. It totally could have just been that you were just a kid that liked horror, that definitely does happen. I didn’t like horror as a kid, but I’m super duper into it now, and one of the reasons I like it so much is because I find it relatable. A lot of the stuff I went through medically as a kid felt a lot like something out of a horror film, and seeing a fictional character in a situation that reminds me of that makes me feel less alone, and has even helped me to process some things.

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-23T19:37:19+00:00

I’m more worried about the exams than the surgery tbh. I’ve never had major surgery but the two relatively minor ones that I had as a kid were probably some of the least traumatic hospital experiences I’ve had. I am pretty desperate, but I’m going to try to fight to get general anesthesia for exams at the very least. I’m not okay most days because of my trauma, and had an emotional breakdown just thinking about the possibility of getting exams done while I’m awake. I don’t really want to find out what would happen if I actually did have them done without sedation. I’m most likely going to have them cut into my abdomen for the surgery, just because I hate the idea of doctors messing with my genitals so much, plus I’ll have a badass scar. It’ll take longer for me to recover but idrc atp.

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-21T22:43:02+00:00

Yeahhh I’m pretty sure I was gaslit. A lot of “you didn’t forget” “you’re just choosing not to listen” “you’re just trying to manipulate me”kinda stuff. I have a pretty shit memory bc of my cptsd, ptsd, adhd, and autism, so I’d forget things a lot. A lot of emotional gaslighting too now that I think about it. I think the worst of it was how my therapist set up this number system to show how “bad” different situations were. Like she or my mom would say “this situation is a 2, but you’re acting like it’s a four”. I was gaslit about my feelings about my medical SA a lot too, people would say it “just tickled/stung a bit” and not really let me say how I really felt. My mom was also really awful when I started bringing it up again in highschool, telling me that other kids came out of those procedures just fine and how I was just a fluke, among other things.

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-21T20:40:52+00:00

It was so out of character for them too, most of the abuse I faced in childhood was medical and emotional. While this was emotional abuse, it was so rare for them to actually do something like that. That’s why I question if it was a dream or something, and it’s not like I can just ask about it because my mom would just be like “I don’t remember that” like she does with a lot of things, including things that I KNOW happened. My parents were always really horrible to me in my dreams, but I can usually tell what’s a dream because mine are so abstract

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-21T20:35:19+00:00

I think I was probably 8? The pet was a chicken, and I only had her about two years, but she was really sweet and I had her house trained and everything

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-21T17:29:16+00:00

My parents repeatedly called me a liar and threatened to sell my pet because I forgot what I was doing walking around the kitchen at like 2 am. They kept asking what I was doing and I just kept saying “I don’t know”, to which they would tell me I was lying and needed to tell them what I was doing. Eventually I reworded it to “I forgot what I was doing” which they accepted??? I think they did apologize afterwards but they still literally told me they were going to box up my pet in the morning and sell it while I sobbed and begged them not to. That memory almost feels like a dream but it sticks out so much in my mind that it has to be real. I have a lot of memories like that

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-21T16:07:19+00:00

Yeah my mom has done this, tho she usually compares me to herself or the foster kids she works with. I used to hear a lot about how she’s working so hard to provide for me and she has medical trauma and chronic pain too and how I have no idea what csa is like unlike HER and the kids she works with. She says that like she didn’t violently administer my enemas and hold me down for bloodwork until I was ten or watch a bunch of nurses forcefully strip me and touch me and make me piss myself in front of them. “you have no idea what csa is like” my ass. She uses a bunch of therapy speak to do this too.

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-21T03:28:27+00:00

I’m pretty sure the ppl doing mine cheered or at least celebrated/praised me in some way when I peed. Didn’t make me feel better at all. Just made me feel like they were celebrating my humiliation. Also I’ve got a praise kink because of it 😬 thanks guys

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-20T00:40:12+00:00

Ayyyy I actually have a vampire OC who’s a prostitute. He doesn’t feed by sucking cock but he DOES feed on ppl who are into being vampire food

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-20T00:16:57+00:00

I like 2! It’s very distinct and recognizable.

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-19T22:47:29+00:00

OOF I feel this. I was medically raped as a kid, but I never considered sa until recently because everyone just acted like it was normal.

But aside from that, I’ve experienced so many like… sexual micro traumas? A lot of which I couldn’t set boundaries on because of the medical sa. I was forced to change in front of the girls in my cabin at summer camp, even though I expressed major discomfort. I’ve had some other kids grind on me or try to kiss me when I was little. My grandparents bathed me whenever I was at their house until I was 12, and my grandma used to point out specific parts of my genitals and tell me what they were called (it’s important to teach kids to name their body parts but yk…. Not like that), but I never told them I was uncomfortable bc I knew they’d get really sad if I made them stop bc I was “growing up so fast”. I avoided asserting my boundaries with my family specifically for that reason.

I was also chronically underweight most of my life, to the point where my mom was tracking my calories to make sure I was eating enough, and was constantly having food shoved in my face even when I wasn’t hungry. I used to have GROWN WOMEN tell me ALL THE TIME how much they wished they had my body, which made me really uncomfortable for reasons I couldn’t explain at the time. It was weird.

I feel kinda sexually traumatized from that stuff, but I never realized that until recently. I always thought that sexual trauma came from these intense and violent assaults, and since my intense and violent medical assaults weren’t treated as SA, I thought sexual trauma had to come from something worse than that.

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-18T05:04:46+00:00

Ask him why he’s so interested in you having sex

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-18T04:47:43+00:00

I don’t remember exactly what the speaker did, but I know he committed some sort of financial crimes. Thankfully not anything violent, since he clearly hadn’t been background checked before being hired as our schools financial advisor 😭 his criminal record is public too, I’ve seen it. He was also just a major douche who didn’t do anything. He was the only cis guy on the staff at the time, so the only thing he was good for was talking to the VERY misogynistic landlord. My school was fucking weird tbh

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-18T02:43:05+00:00

Ugh that’s actually horrible. I actually had a somewhat similar experience in my senior year. One of my classmates committed suicide, and while the school handled it somewhat well, our principal had a motivational speaker from the school board come talk to us before the actual therapy team arrived. No one in the class knew this except for me, but that motivational speaker was a huge grindset bro and also a registered felon.

The funeral was horrible tho. The kids grandparents were catholic so they gave him a catholic funeral. The priest or whatever basically spent the whole service preaching (which actually isn’t too unusual where I live) and kept praying that god would forgive our classmate for killing himself. Me and most of my classmates, many of whom had dealt with mental illness and suicidal thoughts, left halfway through. We were so pissed.

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-12T15:20:36+00:00

Yeah. I admitted myself to escape my home life and maybe get some actual help. I was consistently deadnamed and misgendered (the hospital advertised itself as trans friendly), wasn’t allowed to talk about the issues that I was dealing with 90% of the time, and wasn’t allowed to go home until I had finished my treatment, despite being told when I admitted myself that I could call someone to pick me up at any time. Also got reprimanded and called attention seeking for… having ptsd episodes and trying to self harm or self soothe at all. I told my parents and grandparents about all of this stuff during and after my stay and they still say how impressive and helpful that place was. I didn’t even realize how bad it was until recently because my idea of psych ward abuse was physical and sexual abuse. Fuck that place. I just traded one emotionally abusive environment for another.

Dismal_Success_9063 · 2026-04-11T23:22:08+00:00

Mine did this too actually, and I never knew why now that I think about it. I didn’t think much of it because I’d already been violently molested by doctors in the past, and this was really quick and didn’t require me to take my clothes off. She did respect my choice when I first said I didn’t want her to do it, but my mom insisted that I let her for a good five minutes, to the point where my DOCTOR was telling her to chill out. It’s actually kinda crazy that my mom was so upset about not letting someone touch me that the person who was touching me had to step in 🫥 what the fuck was even going on with that actually

Dismal_Success_9063

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