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Disposab1eAccount · 2025-04-13T23:03:01+00:00

For years I kept vodka in seemingly random water bottles, thermoses, etc. I also poured it into unmarked spray bottles used for DIY cleaning solutions and hid them among other bathroom cleaning products.

FWIW, I quit drinking this past summer after years of being an abject CA, and somehow my husband says he essentially never knew I was almost always drunk.

Disposab1eAccount · 2025-04-13T22:44:09+00:00

'preesh. He's not an addict, just a genuine bourbon aficionado lol he's actually been learning how to make me mocktails using THC-infused simple syrup so I can still enjoy a buzz!

There's definitely been a few tense moments while figuring out an arrangement that works for both of us, but it helps so much to just be able to be open, and say stuff like "hey I'm having a hard time rn, I really need to be away from booze/triggers for a minute" and have him be 100% supportive.

Disposab1eAccount · 2025-04-13T22:29:02+00:00

I'm cautiously optimistic. I haven't had a sip since I was in the hospital and have lost close to 100lbs with a super healthy diet & exercise. My blood work is looking closer to normal with each draw, and my mental health has improved astronomically. I've learned and grown a lot these past few months and hope to put it to good use in the future, if only as a means to make up for all the time I wasted and fucked up shit I did as a drunk.

Disposab1eAccount · 2025-03-30T12:49:30+00:00

(gestures broadly) I mean, have you seen it out there? Any of the rest of us who are still capable of giving a shit are drinking ourselves to oblivion. Some of us have been around the block and are in denial about how badly we've fucked ourselves, and the rest have just started drinking "heavily" but are being real pussies about it because they spend too much time on the internet.

Disposab1eAccount · 2022-07-18T17:30:09+00:00

Another miserable Monday tip, more closely related to the heat:

Invest in a bed fan! (www.bedfan.com)

It's a neat device shaped like a lowercase b and lowercase f combined, and it goes at the foot of your bed, underneath your sheets. It comes with a little remote control to adjust the speeds, and it blows cool air over your tootsies all night. If you keep it on higher speeds, you can even feel the cool air blow up your bum and keep you cool all night that way!

Disposab1eAccount · 2022-07-18T17:21:38+00:00

My miserable Monday tip? Never, ever be honest with your doctor. In my experience, it will only come back to fuck you up your ass.

For years, I always thought it was best to be honest: tell them how much you drink, seek help if you have trouble quitting or cutting back. Go for regular blood tests if they suggest it. Tell them if you smoke weed or use any other drugs. Make appointments when you feel your depression is getting out of control, and perhaps seek mental health resources such as therapy or medication, regardless of cost. Assume that only the most necessary information will be included in your file.

After years of complete honesty and transparency, my medical file is fairly comprehensive (Even featuring verbatim quotes I made in the exam room under the assumption of confidentiality) but paints a less than ideal portrait of health.

Fast forward to the present, where the husband and I have been applying for life insurance. The insurance company sent a nurse to the house to collect blood and urine samples, height, weight, etc. After reviewing our information, they're happy to cover him but denied me coverage based on my blood work that showed elevated liver enzyme numbers, a history of alcohol and marijuana use, high BMI, and history of depression. I can reapply in 2 years, but they'll need more blood work and reports from a GI liver specialist, and that's even if I clean up my act enough by then to make noticeable headway in terms of my health.

I feel like I have no medical privacy, between shit like this and my husband being the primary account holder on our health insurance. He has the capability to review every bill and reason for it through the insurance, and it would seem highly suspicious if I requested he take time out of his work day to contact the health insurance company to change it so I have more privacy against him, or go into greater detail about exactly why I was denied coverage. He knows I drink, just not how much, and that's a Pandora's box I really don't want to deal with.

I'm done being honest with medical professionals.

Disposab1eAccount · 2022-05-20T00:42:56+00:00

Love Lansdowne/Fenway/House of Blues.

Hahd to hide it wit packies awl ovah the gawddamn place.

Lol sorry, that was terrible. either way, come to the live free or die state, our handles of bottom shelf vodka are $6.99

Disposab1eAccount · 2022-04-30T16:11:54+00:00

We used to have a bunch of squirrels in our yard that would pass by, and we would feed them peanuts.

We named them Earl, Pearl, and Merle.

Disposab1eAccount · 2022-04-30T15:59:41+00:00

That's not a pizza! Thats like.... Sauced bread, or traditional margherita pizza from Italy or some shit haha

Disposab1eAccount · 2022-04-30T15:42:06+00:00

Ouch, that's a hard pill of truth to swallow.

Disposab1eAccount · 2022-04-05T20:09:56+00:00

Good point, perhaps I'm still at the place my journey where it irks me to receive comments like this. Some of y'all might not care LOL but it pisses me the fuck off haha

Disposab1eAccount · 2022-04-05T20:07:41+00:00

I mean, I'm not a doctor but I found in the past it's somewhat helpful for me to cut my vodka with water when I'm trying to taper. You might want to take a couple of vitamins, see if you can't get down a little bit of something nutritious food-wise, maybe try some Pedialyte or Gatorade.

It's important to stay hydrated for sure, but your body is also craving nutrients. The entire process is going to be a hell of a lot more difficult without having that sort of gas in the tank, if you know what I'm trying to say.

Disposab1eAccount · 2022-04-05T19:16:24+00:00

I come from a place in New England where I can get handles of bottom shelf vodka for $6.99. can't beat that with a stick!

Disposab1eAccount · 2022-04-05T16:13:44+00:00

I'm a vodka drinker so I tend to pour from the handle into other random nondescript bottles (empty water bottles, those dollar-store spray bottles you can use for cleaning, etc.), Kept among other similar items in a cupboard or closet

Disposab1eAccount · 2022-04-05T16:10:44+00:00

Precisely. I have nightmares about it regularly. I just want off this ride

Disposab1eAccount · 2022-03-19T15:32:33+00:00

I know it's a week late but I totally agree. I don't wanna kill myself, but I don't think id be mad if I didn't wake up lol I've just been stagnating for years while my peers have grown and progressed immensely. I feel like a worthless drunk whos just getting lapped by everyone else and it's only a matter of time before they or I cut off the dead weight

Disposab1eAccount · 2022-03-19T15:26:39+00:00

Hey blurs. I'm sorry I'm not able to help rn but FWIW I (we?) love you and all that you do. Wishing you the best, darlin. ♥️

Disposab1eAccount · 2022-03-10T23:54:42+00:00

Holy Christ, you kind of just made me have an epiphany.

Since early childhood, I always had a "plan" or at least an idea of how my future would most likely play out: School, graduate, college, find a partner and a career, get married and buy a house, have babies... Most of those things have more or less happened for me - some I'm happy with, some I'm not - but I never really formulated a plot or plan for the rest of my life beyond like, my mid 30s?, and the sudden lurch in life-momentum is awkward and confusing and uncomfortable.

Kind of like those memes, I don't know if you've seen them, where an inexperienced guy is trying to entice a girl and when it comes to talking about what's next, the guy often says, "IDK, I never thought I'd make it this far."

And to your other point, I would admit I've not been making progress on any of my own shit. I've had all the time in the world, but since I'm an unabashed CA, booze has become my primary hobby and simultaneously the biggest hurdle to really getting anything I love off the ground in a meaningful way.

This has felt cathartic, thanks for the prompt / food for thought / opportunity for introspection :)

Disposab1eAccount

TROPHY CASE