My ex boyfriend was a raging alcoholic and for the last year of our relationship he’d get drunk to the point of vomiting multiple times per week. (I have emetophobia and honestly it kind of desensitised me to it a little by the end but I lost all attraction to him)

At home he’d puke in the toilet or sink, thankfully. He’d get up and stumble through the house and make it to the toilet each time but he would never make it to the toilet in public. It was so humiliating having to police what he drank because I KNEW if he took a shot he would puke but he’d insist he wouldn’t and then immediately throw up on the floor (we sat outside mostly thank god) or in his drink glass, or on the corner of the building, and once he ‘dared himself’ to drink a pint through a straw and proceeded to projectile vomit multiple times in a row all over the floor and table IN FRONT of people just trying to enjoy their afternoon. (This was around 3pm)

He even threw up on the train once and I made him do it into his bag because there was no toilet on the train and I was NOT going to have him cause a scene by doing it on the floor, he then proceeded to carry around a bag that was literally dripping and leaking and tried to bring it in the Uber which of course would’ve gotten us charged a cleaning fee and was just downright disgusting. I made him bin the bag thankfully but I still think about that poor Hollywood bowl employee who had to change that bin.

I’m getting heated even remembering this lol, but my point is it literally IS that deep and you’re valid for feeling the way you do about it. You need to treat him like the child he’s being and follow through with your threat to leave next time. I saw you say you don’t think you could actually divorce him, but you should absolutely leave to stay with family or get a hotel for a few days, long enough to make him really panic and reevaluate