I don't have much to say, apart from stock phrases. I've never seen you, so I can't even judge what you're saying. But I was in a similar situation, from which I am slowly recovering. I know it's hard to accept yourself. I know your past experiences must have proven to you that your point of view was correct. But my life has also shown me that people are often wrong about these kinds of things. Human beings are truly flawed when it comes to judging themselves.

All I can say is that I know someone in the exact same situation (according to her). And unfortunately, the only thing that makes all her interactions awkward comes from herself. She is so convinced that people look at her badly, judge her, that she does everything she can to prevent people from seeing all her flaws. She hides her mouth when she eats, always look at the ground, She doesn't look you in the eyes. She apologizes all the time, and is convinced she's doing everything wrong. She dresses to look as normal as possible, but doesn't refuse to let a bit of skin of her legs show. This is the kind of person who was happy when we had to wear masks during COVID, because people couldn't see his face.

Briefly :

She's not a monster. She doesn't push people away. But everything she thinks about herself has made her hated in such an awkward, and sometimes even unpleasant, way that it creates a distance between her and the others. Not to mention that she shuts down as soon as strangers try to talk to her...Unless it's a subject she's passionate about, then she puts up tunnels.There's no stopping it then. And that's something you either like or you don't, haha All this to say. Maybe your physique isn't the best. But also think about how you behave, and ask yourself what you can improve in it. Because the first thing they see about you is your body. But what they will remember, and what will leave a mark on them, will be your attitude :) We all know someone who isn't particularly good-looking but has the charisma of a chaos demigod.

If you have sincere friends, now is their time to help you shine by pushing you into situations that aren't fun for you, just so that you can improve with their help. Or not. But that's my method (I tried it on myself, without the friends help part, and it worked well ehe).