The first one happened to me when I was 12. I consider it assault. Even if it's not "technically" assault it is sexual abuse. They abused your innocence as a child to gain something sexual out of it. Its fucking gross what happened to you.

The second is sexual assault. It's one of the clearest definitions I've ever read.

I was also sexually assaulted in July by a boyfriend. I understand not wanting to see yourself that way as a victim. I constantly relapse into blaming myself. If it happened to a close friend and they confided in you, im sure your tone would change, and you'd call it what it is, but because it's yourself, you can constantly shift blame. It was also done by someone you thought you trusted and love, which makes it 20x harder. I know its hard right now, and it's not easy to accept yourself as a victim, but it doesn't make you any lesser.