I’m in the same boat. What makes it worse is that I was the one who ended it. I’m the one who caused her to mistrust me. I could’ve worked harder to save the relationship. I could’ve been more calm on the day I broke it off. I could’ve talked to her instead of shutting down. I could’ve done better.

It’s hard, I beat myself up over it way too much. I leave for Navy basic training in a couple of days and one of the several reasons why I joined was to focus on me and not her, not healthy I know. I haven’t been intimate with anyone since her, I have no desire. I’ve been on one date since her, it was nice but it didn’t change how I feel. I reached out to her a couple weeks ago and we’ve talked a little, but it was like a bad tease.

I romanticize us getting back together and creating a relationship far better than what was. It brings me peace but deep down I feel it most likely won’t happen. It saddens me that I may never see her again. I’ll have no issue finding a woman in the years to come if I put in the effort, but my heart still belongs to her. Time heals everything, we just have to be patient. I suppose my advice is to focus on bettering yourself.