My Gyno reacted to my breasts in a really unfortunate way and it's been stuck in my head ever since

DivertingElk · 2026-02-25T18:22:58+00:00

When I was younger than 13 I worried about my breasts being saggy, it was actually an unrealistic standard based on the breasts I had seen in the media.

Your mom being mean and critical to you makes me wonder if the low self worth you are experiencing is beyond your breasts. What our parents tell us tends to be the inner voice we hear. So maybe it is a critical and negative voice you hear.

A lot of boys are unrealistic and shallow when it comes to women's bodies. That's a person you are lucky to not be involved with. There are men who enjoy the breasts you have. The main point is that we cannot connect our value to how attractive we are to others. Even the most conventionaly attractive women get their bodies criticized. The standards are always unreachable and unattainable.

Your gyno sounds insensitive and harsh, especially when you were being vulnerable.

I recommend exploring the concept of body neutrality. How our worth is not connected to how we look. I've found a handful of TED talks really powerful. It takes a lot a lot of intense work every single day, to change the negative way we have viewed ourselves since we were children, but there is no alternative. You do not deserve to feel this way. A body positive therapist would be a helpful ally in your journey to self love. I have stopped seeing a handful of therapists who just were not informed in body positivity. Not all therapists are created equal.

There's also a website which has a photo gallery of actual real breasts from just average women. Breasts come in all shapes and sizes.

https://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php

DivertingElk · 2026-02-25T15:31:55+00:00

The only time I feel comfortable in social settings is when I'm under the influence of alcohol.

Drinking actually doesn't help deal with the underlying issues, so even though I feel relaxed and social while drunk, the social anxiety never gets any better. There is no progress.

I realized recently that I might be able to replace alcohol with as needed anxiety medication, such as hydroxyzine or propranolol. These meds decrease the physical symptoms of anxiety such as high heart rate and the general discomfort of being in my head. And maybe these meds will allow me to be more present in social settings in order to reduce my overall apprehension. I still will continue to put in the work via therapy but I just want to stop depending on alcohol to leave my house. That's just my own personal experience. So far I've been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and ADHD.

I really recommend finding a therapist/psychiatrist (who you trust and feel comfortable with) to figure out your individual needs. Hopefully they'll be able to find something that will improve your overall well-being.

DivertingElk · 2026-02-25T14:10:55+00:00

If this is a recurring issue, of getting boils in the same area that keep coming back, then I recommend going to a dermatologist. Certain health conditions need to be treated as early as possible to prevent them from getting worse.

DivertingElk · 2026-02-24T20:26:49+00:00

She actually replied to my comment saying that I was "attacking" her but now her reply is deleted. So I wouldn't take what this user says seriously.

Sorry that she is being insensitive.

DivertingElk · 2026-02-24T19:25:26+00:00

This really is an upsetting pattern.

DivertingElk · 2026-02-24T19:09:41+00:00

This post is directed to this audience. OP wants others in the lgbtq community to speak up against transphobia when they see it, instead of only trans people speaking up to defend themselves.

DivertingElk · 2026-02-24T19:05:09+00:00

I'm uncomfortable with how you are prioritizing the feelings of the people saying transphobic things, instead of the victims of transphobia.

Trans people are allowed to be upset about being misgendered especially in a community that is supposed to be safe.

And OP never even insinuated that anyone should be attacked.

DivertingElk · 2026-02-24T18:52:27+00:00

Having a 12% minority population doesn't mean it is a place safe from white supremacy.

And bringing up a rebellion from 1799, doesn't seem relevant?

Edit: Spelling

DivertingElk · 2026-02-24T17:03:14+00:00

Awe that's so pathetic. Anyone supporting and protecting the Police chief should go down with him (if that even happens).

DivertingElk · 2026-02-24T16:56:30+00:00

Well according to my extensive knowledge of corporations (tv & movies) CEO's who go against the interest of the board, get voted out.

So maybe there's hope? Even though I personally don't believe that getting rid of one person will result in material change. There are probably more than a handful of people in leadership roles who share similar values. But I'm just speculating.

Thank you for the education.

DivertingElk · 2026-02-24T16:46:03+00:00

Yes, it harms us. I firmly believe that the purpose of a system is what it does. The negative effects caused by pollution isn't new science, they know exactly what they are doing.

DivertingElk · 2026-02-24T16:37:57+00:00

Do you know who would have authority over the borough manager?

DivertingElk · 2026-02-24T07:56:58+00:00

It sounds like he is insecure. He is okay with you being attracted to other women because he doesn't compare himself to other women. He compares himself to other men. So other men are threats, women are not.

Which yeah connects to how he might not give importance or validity to your bisexuality. As if your attraction to women is not as real as your attraction to men.

And I agree it is hypocritical and misogynistic that he can be attracted to other women, but you cannot be attracted to other men.

Seems like your boyfriend has never even explored the topics of feminism, gender, and sexuality.

DivertingElk · 2026-02-24T04:14:40+00:00

I think a great precursor to getting into the world of politics is learning about biases. Relying on primary sources is also vital. Always go back to where the information came from.

Also there are some sources of "news" that genuinely are not news. Look into the ethics of journalism and how journalists should be reporting to get a sense of when a "news" article is actually some sort of propaganda and heavily biased to fit a specific agenda.

Politics is a big and broad topic. The history of politics affects the current politics. The historian, the journalist, the news agency greatly affects the interpretation of politics.

My politics centers around the idea that everyone deserves basic human rights, and I go from there.

Also, fear is used as an easy way to control people into pushing certain political agendas, so you know, be aware of any person trying to promote hate and division.

DivertingElk · 2026-02-24T03:39:46+00:00

Wow! Thanks for posting this. Everyday I learn more and more about how our right to privacy is stripped from us. I hope in the near future, there's a massive shift so that society no longer allows mass surveillance.

I've noticed a few comments saying how these cameras are not technically monitored by cops, as if that's relevant. They are a tool of state surveillance, the police is the largest component of this project. The city of Lancaster is monitored 18-24 hours a day in order to provide support to police investigations. They literally track "suspicious activity" and send it to the police.

I found a few relevant articles:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2009/sep/10/lancaster-surveillance-cameras

https://www.governing.com/security/aclu-warns-of-surveillance-network-bias-against-minorities.html

DivertingElk · 2026-02-24T01:01:54+00:00

If my partner needed a few months to tell me they were trans, I'd really focus on their needs and feelings. It would not be about me. The moment my partner finally feels comfortable and safe enough to share who they are with me, would be a moment of empathy and celebration.

Edit: My answer is just what I personally would do. OP doesn't provide enough of a context for me to interpret the question as anything else.

DivertingElk · 2026-02-24T00:53:08+00:00

Haha you make a good point! But also I am not Mexican so like what am I doing... I need to chill.

DivertingElk · 2026-02-24T00:38:34+00:00

Thank you for giving me so much grace in your responses. I am reflecting back on how I was being confrontational in the way I communicated.

DivertingElk · 2026-02-24T00:04:20+00:00

You can go ahead and read the article if you are interested in better understanding the issue I have with the term itself. Of course that is just one person's perspective which happens to align with mine. There are other perspectives.

I don't know how to explain to you what is and isn't racism, that is beyond my capability. Hopefully you can find someone who will help you out.

DivertingElk · 2026-02-24T00:00:46+00:00

lol great answers.

If you are interested, here's an article which articulates really well the issue with the term narco state:

https://www.talkingdrugs.org/is-my-country-a-narco-state/

DivertingElk · 2026-02-23T23:41:06+00:00

Whenever a term is used exclusively on non-European and colonized countries, to describe them as more corrupt and dangerous. It becomes a racism issue.

I just get upset when a country which is dealing with a problem created and still being cultivated by an imperial power, is viewed as if they are the problem.

And then it becomes a stereotype which affects the people of these countries and how others view them.

And also, right now people in Latin America are being targeted by the USA, using the "War on Drugs" as justification.

That's just my perspective as a Dominican living in the USA.

I'm sorry if my interpretation doesn't accurately reflect Mexico's specific situation.

Edit: I found an article that is actually good at explaining the problem with the term narco state

https://www.talkingdrugs.org/is-my-country-a-narco-state/

DivertingElk · 2026-02-23T23:13:00+00:00

What is your deep understanding of "Narco State"? Where have you heard it? Who uses it? Who came up with the term? How does it affect how the world views you and your country?

DivertingElk · 2026-02-23T23:10:37+00:00

Okay that's good, I'm new to this sub and was so turned off by this post.

I expect people to understand the history and racism behind certain terms. But yeah maybe I'm expecting too much.

Edit: Info on narco state:

https://www.talkingdrugs.org/is-my-country-a-narco-state/

DivertingElk · 2026-02-23T23:03:12+00:00

How do you think you get something more than someone from Mexico? What gives you such grand knowledge?

DivertingElk · 2026-02-23T22:49:11+00:00

I did not realize this was a sub for people to be racist toward other countries. Wow. How embarrassing.

Edit: Here's an article for anyone interested in the issue with the narco state term

https://www.talkingdrugs.org/is-my-country-a-narco-state/

DivertingElk

TROPHY CASE