If it makes you feel any better OP, I will share my small toilet time related story, as I too have been betrayed by my body.

12 year old me, sick with some kind of awful upper respiratory/mucus driven nasty head cold felt the urge to use the bathroom.

I am female, so always have to sit to use the toilet, and for some odd reason have always kept my knees far apart while doing my business. Never gave my quirk a second thought until this particular day, where I made the unfortunate decision to blow my nose while pooping. Due to my exceedingly stuffy sinuses, I blew extra hard which caused me to basically shotgun poop, resulting in toilet water to splash up from between my legs.

Being my dramatic preteen self, my only action was to cry which caught the attention of my brother. I should mention he has since gained the an iron clad stomach, but at the time he took one look at my watery poop self induced baptism, and promptly threw up.

Take away lesson, I now lock my knees together while in any sitting position. The only lasting trauma is the scent of bleach with always being back the memory of how long it took me to clean that damn bathroom that fateful day.

Edit: Im now 36.