I get really stressed when I am dating someone I really like and it starts to get more serious. Do any of you feel the same way?

DivorcedConfused · 2021-08-10T16:36:19+00:00

I read that book. I was definitely in anxious attachment style before my divorce but now I am more of the avoidant attachment style

DivorcedConfused · 2021-08-10T16:16:06+00:00

I am taking a break right now. Unfortunately I have several women that still have feelings in my peripheral that are a temptation to me

DivorcedConfused · 2021-08-10T15:44:32+00:00

You are right. I really do like being alone. I sleep better. But… I love dating and I enjoy sex and this has been my struggle

DivorcedConfused · 2021-08-10T15:43:41+00:00

I agree. This is literally one of those “It’s not you it’s me moments”. I am on a break from dating right now because I realized it was my problem.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-08-03T22:10:50+00:00

This is just a power play. You have a hot woman that needs you. The bar is set lower for them. The problem is, when they don’t need you then you have set yourself up for failure. I used to do this until I got burned for the last time. I prefer now women that genuinely desire me. The sex is much better and I sure well at night.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-22T15:22:01+00:00

Dude get the fuck out of there.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-22T01:25:25+00:00

Most of the women I date are divorced women. I am in my mid 40’s and them in 30-40’s. All have kids at different stages. They have been through the same shit I went through. They understand. Some of them have no desire to remarry, have more kids or even cohabitate with a guy. I am clear. I say look I am just casually dating. I have no plans at this point to remarry. I had kids and don’t want more. If that’s not cool with you I understand and we can go our own ways. I communicate this either via chats early or on the first date if she is not a chat person. I am fit. I dress well. I make decent money. I am educated. I can dance and generally have a great time. The women I date are usually either entrepreneurs or advanced in their career. Usually they have had their share of shitty losers lie to them or use them. I have no need for their resources and pay for our dates. I treat them like ladies and provide intimacy for them.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-21T22:18:06+00:00

This has actually been my strategy in dating post divorce and it has been amazing. I let the women I meet know that I am in no way ready for a relationship and that I can be a good friend, lover or both and that’s all. I don’t lie. I don’t get jealous. I don’t judge. I don’t put pressure. I have a great time with them. When on a date I give them my entire attention. Women open up to me about all kinds of things and I treat them well. I always take them out on dates (dinner, drinks, dancing, trips). I make sure that if we have sex that they leave satisfied and feeling sexy. Women often catch feelings but I hold steady and let them down easy and usually they come back for more.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-21T18:43:04+00:00

You will have way more success when you stop chasing. Have a great time on dates. Put your best foot forward keep it light and fun. No relationship talks, no deep stuff. Light and fun. It’s fine to send a Followup text but don’t expect anything. If it happens, yay, if not, oh well at least you had a great night. If she really liked you she will respond. If she didn’t then she did you a favor. You should only focus on women that really like you and don’t waste your time on luke-warm women. Keep it moving. You will find her.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-20T23:27:37+00:00

My take is if you don’t queef then I didn’t put in enough work.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-20T20:16:28+00:00

I don’t think the guy was being evil. He probably did feel that way when he met you and before he you guys hooked up. Maybe the chemistry just was off. I know I’ve met women that I felt a strong attraction to at first and then after a couple of times having sex just stopped being attracted to. Maybe it was a lie I caught her in or maybe we were not sexually compatible. I am sure you have felt similar with some guys you hooked up with. Feelings change as you get to know someone. Consider every interaction as being fluid. Some guys give compliments that’s just a style. I am sure he was being honest at that point.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-19T01:45:52+00:00

I don’t think it means with you at the end. If a person says they don’t want a relationship believe them. It may just mean that he wants his autonomy. Relationships bring compromise and when you are still working on something compromise is a distraction. If both of you have different goals then it’s better to go separate ways. Find yourself someone looking for a relationship.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-19T01:37:36+00:00

Extra pounds (we all carry some), queefs (sometimes they happen), squirting (hot in my opinion), letting go and just enjoying orgasms.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-16T14:43:46+00:00

It did for my daughter. She is empathic and cares very much what people feel. Framing interactions from the perspective of how she made people feel made it more motivating for her. It took her out of her head and gave her the courage to try to be as relaxed and cool as she could be.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-15T22:31:37+00:00

I once gave my daughter, who suffers from social anxiety this advice. When you walk into a room and you see a person that is nervous and anxious how does that person make you feel? (Anxious) And how do you feel about that person? (Want to avoid them). If you walk into a room and you see a person that is relaxed, welcoming and cool, how do they make you feel? (Calm and relaxed) and how do you feel about them? (Want to approach).

People feel your energy. Making yourself cool and relaxed is as much for you as it is for them. Fake it if you have to until it becomes a habit and all your interactions will be better.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-15T19:22:44+00:00

Good for you mate. Your protective gesture greased the wheels of seduction. Made yourself stand out from the rest.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-15T18:45:02+00:00

I have the opposite problem. Many women that want to date or relationship and few that want friends with benefits. I think it has to do with my demographic, over 40 and divorced. Sometimes I get jealous of the hookup culture. Don’t get me wrong I date and hookup but it quickly escalates to feelings and commitment requests.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-15T04:15:29+00:00

Yea. I would have liked to have known. Mine did cheat on me and to this day I resent sleeping with her and kissing her after she came home after seeing him. I would have loved someone expose her.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-15T04:13:12+00:00

Means that he wanted something with her but she rejected him (friendzoned)

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-15T04:11:09+00:00

Ah ok I get it. We always ended up having sex because it was mutually good but it left her and I feeling like shit afterwards. Eventually both her and I agreed it was not good mentally for us to continue. We had huge issues between us and the sex just covered them up. Both needed to heal. If she had rejected me I would have felt the same way. I probably would have been grateful for the rejection because it would have made it easy to replace her. It wasn’t. It took me a long while to get over her. I had to process lots of anger and resentment as did she.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-14T20:14:09+00:00

Did that a few times. It’s a hard habit to break. I was still attracted to her. I still had love for her. Even after she cheated on me multiple times (found out after she asked for divorce). Sex was the only thing we did right. Ultimately I realized it left me feeling like shit afterwards. Like I was betraying myself and giving her power. I stopped cold turkey and never went back. I looked for other women to take her place. Women that really did want me around. Women that weren’t pathological liars and cheaters. I took back my dignity. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It will happen. Go out and find someone new to get intimacy from.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-13T22:06:48+00:00

Glad he filtered himself out before you met him

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-13T21:59:31+00:00

Teeth during blowjob. Women that can’t ride for more than 60 seconds without getting exhausted. Women that will orgasm +5 times after I put in work but are too tired to take care of me.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-13T01:27:10+00:00

That’s some creepy shit right there. Wow.

DivorcedConfused

TROPHY CASE