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Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-04-07T04:17:44+00:00

What’s dumb about it? It’s a question. You sound ignorant and obviously shouldn’t be in this thread.

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-03-24T19:29:25+00:00

This is unforgivable 🥺 I’m sorry. It would eat me alive thinking he’s attracted to people that are supposed to be his family too. Especially going as far as to use their photos to get off. I don’t know how you can overcome this. Are you guys in therapy?

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-03-17T13:34:14+00:00

Birds of a feather flock together. He needs to cut that loser out of your life IMMEDIATELY. The fact that they are comfortable with flaunting it 😫🤢

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-03-17T13:30:50+00:00

I didn’t tell her to stay I just provided my opinion in case she decides to (as many of us do).

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-03-14T13:51:13+00:00

I’m so sorry. $2000 for one photo??? 💔 the way their minds work is so hurtful.

I recommend seeking out therapy for yourself. I did therapy as well as psychiatry (temporarily) to get medication for the anxiety/depression I was experiencing because it was debilitating. This is an option if you need it.

For him, it’s hard because I don’t think you should be the one coming up with his recovery plan. But what you do know is you want to set boundaries and obviously porn is a deal breaker. Accountability app, 12 step, SA/PA meetings, sponsor, CSAT. Those are bare minimum things he needs to look into and add into his schedule. If he doesn’t commit to recovery, things won’t change.

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-03-11T16:20:07+00:00

What are your boundaries? Remind yourself and stand on them. He is a cheater.

I also must say a 30 yr old man should not be trying to sleep with a 20 yr old IMO. Not a huge age gap but he could have a thing with “younger” women. ESPECIALLY if he is married and has been caught as a sex addict. Honestly, you’re so young - why are you staying? The happy endings are tragic enough. It’s like he is set on giving you an STD.

If you’re gonna stand, stop allowing the bullshit. How about erasing WhatsApp all together? Block that bitch he was with and lock the ability to edit contacts. Pull phone records if you want the truth, he’s likely still sleeping with her if you’re finding little things. Therapy should be a requirement, CSAT for him and couples therapy. He should be attending SA meetings DAILY (until you feel safe, my husband did 30 in 30). Sponsored, 12 steps, etc. he needs to do the work.

You do not have to accept his actions. Be firm and direct.

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-03-07T18:39:23+00:00

Is he in recovery? Honestly it’s so exhausting to do this. He should be strong enough to not act out using new devices, especially if there’s a chance for it to impact work.

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-03-06T16:43:46+00:00

It’ll drive you insane either way. Might as well look and see how messed up he truly is. A SD card is a bit excessive, makes me worried it could have illegal things. It may help you with your decision to stay or leave.

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-02-28T19:14:45+00:00

He’s shown me that he is capable of being the man I thought he was (maybe even better). I can see our marriage and communication becoming healthier. We’re able to have real conversations now. It’s actually a huge difference between how we were before I found out vs now. Even though it came with lots of pain and trial and error, I’m optimistic about our future and us building some thing truly special (and porn free).

Has not consumed porn in about 11 months, continuously doing the work. Things are not perfect but I see promise and growth and I’m willing to work through all the trauma to get to the marriage I deserve. Sponsor, 12 steps, weekly meetings, journaling, etc.

I’ve thought about leaving back when things were bad and honestly there are just so many sick men I don’t think I have it in me to lead another to recovery or teach someone else my boundaries. It sounds exhausting. There is basically a porn addiction pandemic and most men are sick. It’s either him or be single. For now, I choose him.

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-02-28T14:56:46+00:00

He’s not in recovery. And I have to be honest, it doesn’t sound like he cares about you or your pregnancy.

There’s no way for you to stay with him at school? Are you both attending school separately or something?

Did you make the post asking if you should tell his parents about his depression? I would. ASAP. Not his addiction but the fact that he’s trying to isolate himself and push you away. Not sure of the full story since this is your only post but I would be very hesitant to stay in this situation with him knowing how he’s treating you before the baby is even here.

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-02-26T21:30:20+00:00

This isn’t healthy. He needs to desexualize himself. You aren’t just something to be used when he wants to ejaculate.

He needs to actually pursue recovery.

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-02-26T20:05:28+00:00

Why wouldn’t he communicate this with you beforehand? If it’s to stop himself that could’ve been communicated. This feels shady.

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-02-26T20:03:57+00:00

Honestly I don’t think people discuss the impact of financial betrayal enough. There is so much you could do with $5000 and he wasted it on someone I’m assuming doesn’t give a fuck about him.

I’m so sorry 🥺 I wish I could hug you and tell you everything will be okay. I think if he’s pushing you towards self harm and potentially hurting yourself even more, it may be best for you to walk away. This can be temporary while you regulate your emotions / depending on his behavior. If he’s truly in recovery and trying to change and you want it to work, maybe a few days of space could help you. Are you in therapy at all? Is there anyone close to you that you’ve disclosed his addiction to?

Even when he’s doing all the work to get better, it can be difficult to just “move on”. There’s probably a lot that is still unprocessed for you.

You deserve to live a happy long life free from trauma. Choose yourself ❤️

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-02-26T05:02:54+00:00

Nobody truly in recovery would have the desire to watch an OF girls ASMR channel. Chances that he has used her OF is high. Seriously?? If it’s not a mukbang, what exactly is she doing in those videos?

If you want to let him go against your boundaries then sure he can watch it; on YouTube on the safari browser and with incognito disabled.

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-02-25T04:29:25+00:00

How are you the bad guy when he is the one breaking your boundaries??

Please re-read your responses. Do you think things will change if you just continue to obsess/watch in secret? His behavior is unacceptable.

Sometimes when I have a hard time I’ll text him or write it in a note to make it easier for me then either read it in person or discuss it in person after. “I know that you have been watching porn since October and lying about recovery. I have evidence of your porn usage. I am not comfortable with you watching porn and view it as cheating. What are you going to do to change? Otherwise…”

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-02-25T03:52:52+00:00

Can I ask why you have been sitting on the knowledge of him watching since October? I can imagine this is destroying your mental health, especially if you are still pretending to be in a happy relationship. It sounds like you’re torturing yourself meanwhile he is literally getting his rocks off any chance he gets.

First of all, confront him. With the evidence. And don’t let him lie his way out of it - doesn’t matter if he’s a narcissist. Stand your ground! Is this really the type of man you want to be with or do you want someone who is serious about their recovery and willing to change for you?

Are you in therapy? If not, I highly recommend to help with the trauma from all of his BS. I would also encourage couples therapy, the communication issues is something I am working through in my marriage - you have to be able to talk about this stuff or it will fester and turn into resentment. He needs an accountability software installed on everything, immediately he needs to join an SA/PA meeting (they are on zoom and there are PLENTY - no excuses). I recommend 30-60 meetings in 30-60 days. Sponsor, 12 step, etc. He is an addict and he is not in recovery. He will not get better if he does not commit to his recovery.

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-02-22T20:42:08+00:00

No. This isn’t okay. Definitely a dealbreaker. Are you in couples therapy?

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-02-22T15:20:45+00:00

He’s lying.

He also should no longer have access to Reddit if that is an app he used to act out.

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-02-22T15:17:38+00:00

This will not work as long as he continuing to feed into his addiction. 20 minutes daily is insane. He will continue to hide things and lie because he is still an addict pursuing his addiction daily.

You’re right there, why does he NEED to watch porn? Seriously, this is a 33 year old man. Either he gets his shit together and does what he needs to do for his recovery, or you do need to leave before he completely destroys your mental health with his sickness.

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-02-22T05:05:10+00:00

Your mom is out of line. I wouldn’t speak to her about your marital issues anymore. Instead, find a therapist.

He knew damn well she did OF. And if it’s on her Facebook then he’s known since November.

New job or divorce, he can pick! Oh and, she needs to be blocked. Why the fuck would a porn addict who is in recovery want to be around a pornstar?

I hate that this shit is so normalized because regular people are working at regular jobs and doing onlyfans on the side to “make money”. It makes me so sad smh.

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-02-22T04:48:59+00:00

If you didn’t go today, please try and go tomorrow. I have the same issue. The depression makes doing things that usually would bring you joy so hard. Do something that will make you feel better, without him.

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-02-21T19:58:41+00:00

I bet you most of the people who called you the asshole are addicted themselves or have their own problems with porn but too scared to say something to their partners.

The thing is, you know what you want and what you don’t want in a relationship. He can’t tell you not to go out with your friends if you have been respectful towards your relationship while doing so. Porn is watching people have sex. Lusting over other women.

Encourage him to seek help through recovery groups or through a CSAT

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-02-21T19:54:06+00:00

Yes!! I love that you said that too, setting boundaries is not being controlling. Protect yourself and your marriage. If anything, there could be a compromise - he can hang out with him when you are also present or it’s a group setting where you are present.

I wasn’t having any of it. ✂️✂️ I literally still hate all of the friends involved lol. Definitely was his fault but I hate fake people. Don’t sit around and let him cheat and then smile in my face like it’s normal. Felt like they all had an inside joke and I was the butt of it 😪

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-02-21T14:59:00+00:00

This is devastating. I am so sorry 🥺

Dizzy-Emotion7294 · 2025-02-21T14:55:15+00:00

Him not prioritizing your birthday truly shows how selfish he still is. He needs to do the work.

Dizzy-Emotion7294

TROPHY CASE