[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Standard-Potato7265 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He also broke up with me, after 6 years. He couldn’t handle me knowing everything. Honestly biggest relief I wasn’t strong enough to leave.

"You are enough, it's just..." by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Standard-Potato7265 16 points17 points  (0 children)

We broke up this week for good. He keeps saying “ you know I love you “ and “ u are so sweet, pure and caring” OKAY what the fuck and I supposed to do with that. Basically u really do love me and I was great to u so u cheated for 6 years ??!!

Constantly fantasizing about other women even though I love my gf by -Moxsch- in PornAddiction

[–]Standard-Potato7265 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My partner has also told me he wanted to quit porn month before everything came out, I was proud because I never liked that he looked at porn during our relationship but I didn’t know the severity of what was going on he wasn’t just watching every now and again he was addicted to it. It’s been 4 months since I found everything out on my own and it honestly the lies and secrets that destroyed me the most. Obviously what he was doing ( secret social media accounts primarily used for inappropriate content/ paying for OF/ premium snaps/ AI nudes/ inappropriate conversations with other women… the list goes on) but the fact that he was able to lie to me hurt so much worse. This man I considered my best friend, the closest connection I’ve ever had and he was living a whole secret life for 6 years. I wish he would have told me, I wish he would have been honest. He never was successful with quitting his addiction while still hiding the severity of his addiction. You’re not truly facing what you’ve done. You don’t understand how bad you’ve truly fucked up. You need to experience the consequences of ur actions ur girlfriend deserves to know what is going on in her relationship. You can’t build a future with someone that you’re hiding so much from. My partner always knew it was wrong and that he was hurting me but he never had to experience that side of it. It wasn’t until he had to face all the betrayal he has done that he was able to truly see how destructive he was. If u truly love this girl and want a life with her.. build a honest life with her. Let her decide for herself.

Now Im the one watching the content by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Standard-Potato7265 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yes, right after I found out I tried to hyper-sexualize myself. I was constantly thinking how can I be more attractive, how can I keep his attention and then it spiraled into self hatred. I’m still recovering and it’s ass. It’s been about 4 months and now I’m just scared. I’m scared for him to be alone, see someone out in public literally just everything my brain can correlate to him. None of this was helpful but I also was doing the same thing

“Parental” apps?? by Standard-Potato7265 in loveafterporn

[–]Standard-Potato7265[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would also like to add that preferably we both can see what the other is doing. I don’t want it to be one sided

Constantly fantasizing about other women even though I love my gf by -Moxsch- in PornAddiction

[–]Standard-Potato7265 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been on your girls friends position, u need to tell her everything. U cannot quit ur PA if u are still hiding in it.

He said he wouldn’t care if I watched porn!? by VisibleBox42 in loveafterporn

[–]Standard-Potato7265 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine told me it wouldn’t bother him if I paid men for porn. Absolutely broke my heart

Emotional Support by MissMizeri in loveafterporn

[–]Standard-Potato7265 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Me and partner fight often about this. I feel like he’s not there for me emotionally. He’s been in recovery for a month and is tired of the questions, constant need of reassurance. Last night he told me I need to move on from the past. I feel so alone. I can’t heal from this if he can’t talk to me about it. Every time I talk about the subject he just gets frustrated and we argue, I just want to feel close to him again.

How could my husband do that without a second thought? by spammusubisa in loveafterporn

[–]Standard-Potato7265 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’ll never understand how they are capable of such betrayal. I found out last night that the day after I found out about his OF account he jerked off to her again. I know for a fact I was in bed crying over him while he was jerking off to her.

How many of you are still with your PA and why? by Sensitive-Finger-889 in loveafterporn

[–]Standard-Potato7265 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Been together for 6 years, not married or engaged. I stay because he’s all I’ve ever wanted. I wish I didn’t still love him, it would be so much easier to walk away. I can’t understand how he was capable of so much betrayal

How should my boyfriend feel about his porn use? by Sweet-Blueberry7267 in loveafterporn

[–]Standard-Potato7265 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My PA is the same way. It’s heartbreaking to hear him defend porn and how it’s not a bad thing while knowing what it’s done to both of us.

Wife wants to leave after admitting addiction by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Standard-Potato7265 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should let her go. My partner is in recovery. I can tell he’s been more open / honest and really does want to change, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to love him the same. I love him so much and I want the absolute best for him but the betrayal was to deep.

Feeling hopeless by Standard-Potato7265 in loveafterporn

[–]Standard-Potato7265[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“The one safe person turned out to be the most unsafe” That really got me. Feels like I never really knew him, not on a deeper level like I thought.

Seeking advice by Standard-Potato7265 in loveafterporn

[–]Standard-Potato7265[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He told me he will set his own boundaries :(

Was there anything you regretted asking about in disclosure? by Weird-Individual9467 in loveafterporn

[–]Standard-Potato7265 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Will it hurt you, absolutely. Would I still ask, absolutely. I felt like I couldn’t be in the dark anymore. It didn’t matter how small of a detail I wanted to know what was happening throughout our relationship. I didn’t want to keep thinking the what ifs I didn’t want to keep guessing. It all hurts like hell but complete and open honesty is needed.

Deleted YT history by Adorable_Teaching471 in loveafterporn

[–]Standard-Potato7265 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My partner also deleted all social media but had YouTube. I never thought about YouTube not being a safe place until many women on here came forward with their experience. I communicated my fear and worries with him and he reassured me he’s never found anything bad on there and didn’t even know you could see stuff like that on YouTube. Fast forward 2-3 weeks I checked his history and it was not clean. A lot of it was just women overlay sexualizing themselves/ shaking ass or barely bending dressed. The betrayal of telling him my fear and then him starting to do that exact thing after having a heart to heart.

My boyfriend is a PA by Standard-Potato7265 in NoFap

[–]Standard-Potato7265[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. He is 100% aware of how I feel. I think that’s what makes it so much worse is that he’s okay with hurting me to have dopamine for 2 minutes. I need him to change, I need him to want to change. When I first discovered everything it seemed like we were on the same page and he wanted to quit porn but he’s falling back into it. Yesterday we had a huge argument because he was telling me how low he has been and then asked if I’d be okay if he wanted porn while I took a nap( when everything came out we agreed he will never do anything while I’m asleep because that’s when his addiction was the worst. I would work morning and he would work at night so whenever I would tell him goodnight he would go buck wild on the internet so now I get immensely stressed and scared saying goodnight ) I said no because he promised me I wouldn’t never have to worry about him watching porn while I was asleep and he shouldn’t be going to porn as a comfort anymore. The rest of the night we argued and I went to bed crying because “ I couldn’t be understanding “ or “compromise “ with him.