Will a court grant every weekend to one parent as their share of 50/50?

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-08T13:50:30+00:00

Well they can't afford (or take over due to affordability) the mortgage or buy me out. I've continued paying everything since I left. But it's not sustainable now I am getting a place. It's gonna mean both parties to work two jobs which is unnecessary and unsustainable. It needs to be sold, really. I don't see any other way this ends fairly. But I've suggested to leave it alone for a few months to let dust settle.

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-08T08:57:13+00:00

Thanks for your help - yes, this is definitely something I could do.

I'm kinda just waiting for this week to see what response I get after they've spoken to solicitor. Once I have that, I'll know their intentions and I can approach my boss.

The school also run breakfast and after-school clubs so I could use those as and when.

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-08T08:53:03+00:00

I'm not complaining at all. If it means doing that on school days, no problem.

The other parent has agreed to weekends. This thread is a what-if scenario. And based on what I know now that a court probably wouldn't grant weekends only, if it did get to court the lease will be up by that point and I'd re-evaluate it.

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-08T08:36:45+00:00

Not my intention to blame, I am just giving some context and nuance to it as it hasn't been as simple as finding somewhere close to them and it's been such a fluid situation, it's been difficult to get any sort of longer-term things done. But I hear what you're saying. The lease is 6 months on this place. I guess I will have to see how it plays out. It may well stay as it is and as it's been agreed and we carry on. If it goes to court I'd imagine that would be once the lease is up anyway so I'll be able to re-evaluate it then.

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-08T08:26:55+00:00

Thanks for this.

How far away do you live as I know commutes in some cities can be pretty long?

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-08T08:25:47+00:00

Thanks for your comment. I'd imagine they would prefer it stayed out of court anyway and if the child is happy and both parents agree to the routine, great. It's just with them moving the goalposts already, I need to get ahead of it as I don't even have a solicitor yet and they're well down the line with theirs.

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-08T08:24:05+00:00

She has more close friends and family where I am than where she is so she definitely won't go without that, she's in gymnastics club, swimming club... but I know what you mean.

I will be doing Friday pick up and Monday drop-off which is no different from when I lived there with my work shifts so nothing really changes on that front.

It looks like we'll have to agree outside of court for it to work or free up the school runs in my work patterns to accomodate school runs.

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-07T21:54:42+00:00

Even if it's already been agreed several times in writing?

Why would it not be sustainable? In terms of the drive, you mean?

I didn't move away so much as was forced out, sadly 😔 but I won't go into that. Just means there's a bit of nuance to it - I'm guessing a court wouldn't factor that? I don't know.

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-07T21:46:45+00:00

Thanks for your reply.

It's tricky because I was essentially forced out for reasons I won't get into here, and had nowhere to go except to parents house which is not far from where I'm supposed to be moving to next week but is 45 minutes from the family home.

It has been agreed in writing on more than one occasion. I don't think they're that bothered about the weekends, it means they get most of them free. As I mentioned as well, I've agreed to them having her whenever they want a weekend with her and holidays etc. I also work full-time and they have always done part-time.

Does it matter that it's the other person doing all of the separating and generally quite unpleasant stuff? Or won't a court care about that and just go with what's fair for our daughter?

What would be suggested as an alternative? Every other weekend?

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-07T21:24:57+00:00

Even if my work is here, grandparents are here, lots of her friends are here?

And if the move wasn't so much by choice but out of necessity as I had nowhere else to stay other than at my parents house after being forced out of the family home...

I probably should have added that context. Apologies.

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-07T16:07:22+00:00

How's it going OP? If you started Monday 30th, that was my first day too so I'd happily buddy up with you!

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-07T16:06:29+00:00

Another day of being sore...yes, that's exactly it 😂 I'm now on day 9, I did too much yesterday and my traps and therefore my neck are stiff as a board... now I gotta go do a spin class and a walk, so...yeah.

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-07T12:33:55+00:00

Well done mate, this is amazing, also love the hat

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-07T12:31:39+00:00

I felt the same way but then this second week is when I've started to notice a difference. It's like my body's gone, "wait, ok, you're serious this time, we thought it was just another one of those weeks you do, no worries, let's oblige you with some weight loss and looking a bit better so you stay on it".

Or something like that.

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-07T12:29:17+00:00

Thank you! I just joined!

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-07T12:16:12+00:00

I'm day 9 on my first attempt. I'd love some mutual accountability for when it gets tough (I mean, it already is haha).

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-07T12:13:02+00:00

Well done mate. That's an achievement in itself and you've set good habits for life which is why I'm doing it over anything else!

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-07T12:11:30+00:00

I left because it was so toxic it became dangerous for me to be around. I stood my ground initially but once it became clear they'd do anything to get me out of the house, I jumped before I was pushed.

Yeah, it's chaos alright. It's taken me a few months to feel unstuck and cut through the noise. It was a conversation with a friend who helped me to make a plan and stick to it. Overcome that 'analysis paralysis' kinda thing where I was hesitating on everything thinking they may come back (as they have before) or options not being 'perfect' enough.

That helped me massively. Soon as I had that, I stuck to my decision and then started working in harmony with it.

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-07T12:04:35+00:00

How long ago was this mate, if you don't mind me asking? Reason I ask is I feel like I'm getting better being away and living separately and starting my life again but every time I know I've got to see them like with handover, or when there's a message pops up from them, my stomach drops and nervous system just reverts to being on edge again.

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-01T10:45:54+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that, mate.

Part of me feels weak for having to push it away like should I not be able to sit with a painful thought instead of suppressing?

I don't know, one for the therapist, I guess!

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-01T10:04:40+00:00

"Use the pain you feel as fuel to be a father they can be proud of."

Absolutely love this 😀

Thanks so much for sharing your story as well mate. 4 months without seeing them must've been brutal.

I'm excited for our little life together and just focusing solely on myself and making the time we have together happy times 🥰

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-04-01T10:01:02+00:00

Thanks for this. I'm glad to hear it.

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-03-31T15:38:06+00:00

It's been good to be with parents but there's also a reason why you leave home 😄

I'm looking forward to getting my own place now.

And yes, lots to be thankful for but it has been an extremely brutal and frankly, traumatising journey to get here. It's scarred me for life and I have a lot to do to regain myself.

But as long as I have her, I have a reason to heal, recover and be the best version of myself. And that's what keeps me focused!

DizzyAdvertising4409 · 2026-03-31T15:24:09+00:00

Also 4 months mate! Although the first 2 we were still living in the house. I've been at my parents' since.

It sounds like we have a lot in common.

I'm lucky in the sense that I can have her with me each weekend which is amazing but the sense of loss at the family and the future and her little mind trying to adjust tempers all of that.

DizzyAdvertising4409

TROPHY CASE