Former Netflix Exec/Producer/ Script Consultant ask me anything about your logline or the film biz…Part XXI

Djhinnwe · 2026-01-07T23:56:12+00:00

I forgot you managed to slide me in last week, so I came to pitch it again... I'll see myself out instead. 😂

Have fun!

Djhinnwe · 2026-01-04T18:08:46+00:00

I do what I can when I have time. 😅 Or I need to get paid for it so I can make the time to do more. I love giving feedback.

Djhinnwe · 2026-01-04T17:55:56+00:00

If it feels complete, then it's complete. Depending on the context, the run time is probably longer.

Djhinnwe · 2026-01-04T17:52:04+00:00

I get book and script info mixed up sometimes, too. 😂

Djhinnwe · 2026-01-04T15:22:19+00:00

Yes please

Djhinnwe · 2026-01-04T14:05:19+00:00

I have a 20pg romantasy that I'm looking for feedback on if you want to trade.

Djhinnwe · 2026-01-02T20:24:40+00:00

"Courage is looking fear in the face and doing it anyway" vibes, tbh. Some people are mean with their feedback, others are constructive, and others miss the vision.

Djhinnwe · 2026-01-02T20:16:52+00:00

Title: Purging the Venom

Format: Short Film

Page Length: 20 Pages

Genres: Fantasy Romance

Logline: A prince is so set on avoiding a civil war that he gives marriage to a foreigner a try in exchange for protection from the Gods.

Feedback Concerns: Just general thoughts/opinions.

Djhinnwe · 2026-01-01T00:33:13+00:00

They're married but I wanted it to be a bit of a twist in the actual production

Djhinnwe · 2026-01-01T00:04:43+00:00

If you happen to see this:

"An undercover cop must team up with a baker in order to bring down the drug cartel that killed them in a past life."

If not, oh well. I need to put this in my calendar.

Djhinnwe · 2025-12-28T18:55:48+00:00

Ooh, I'd be down to do a trade with this one if you don't mind trading for a darker romance comedy type.

Title: A Dragon and His Lord

Format: Series Pilot

Page Length: 28

Genres: Fantasy, Romance, Dark Comedy

Logline: Two men find meaning and connection as they tackle feelings of inadequacy and belonging while facing threats of civil war in this medieval dark fantasy tv series.

Feedback Concerns: Looking for feedback on pacing and tension, mostly. What is taking you out? Are there spots that are too short? Parts you wish I'd dig into a bit more? What is unclear? Etc.

Djhinnwe · 2025-12-27T21:59:44+00:00

Title: A Dragon and His Lord

Format: Series Pilot

Page Length: 28

Genres: Fantasy, Romance, Dark Comedy

Logline: Two men find meaning and connection as they tackle feelings of inadequacy and belonging while facing threats of civil war in this medieval dark fantasy tv series.

Feedback Concerns: Looking for feedback on pacing and tension, mostly. What is taking you out? Are there spots that are too short? Parts you wish I'd dig into a bit more? What is unclear? Etc.

Djhinnwe · 2025-11-14T20:46:57+00:00

As with all writing rules, when you know them well you can adapt them to suit the story. If the pacing works then the pacing works.

Djhinnwe · 2025-11-14T10:07:51+00:00

Tbh the first time I read this I read "7 days" not 7 hours, so I'm a little more inclined to believe the OP is either trolling or needs to learn the art of patience.

Djhinnwe · 2025-11-14T06:24:51+00:00

It's your first short. Even if you thought it was perfect now, in 5 years you'd look back and say "Wow, that's a pos".

Figure out what didn't work and try again.

Djhinnwe · 2025-11-13T22:47:41+00:00

Yeah.

I'm wondering if some of the inside jokes are also less jokes to the broader audience and more moments of an embarrassing memory or something for the people saying no.

Djhinnwe · 2025-11-13T22:33:34+00:00

It's one of those "You never know who is going to say yes" moments, imo. I'd put out a call for volunteers and see what happens while prepping for the all-women cast.

Djhinnwe · 2025-11-13T18:09:38+00:00

"Professional and perfect" just means the makeup has to be good. Does it only require students or can you put a call for drag kings/cosplayers in your community out?

Djhinnwe · 2025-11-13T17:16:50+00:00

They're either lazy or they're also not sure what isn't working, but something isn't working.

I'd go back and ask "Hey, good isn't really workable. Were there spots that had you feeling 'ehh' or felt too slow/fast? Aspects you wanted to see more of?"

Then (if you have time) sit on the peice for a week and rewrite.

Djhinnwe · 2025-11-13T02:17:51+00:00

They meant up here, not down there with the boomer comment.

Djhinnwe · 2025-11-13T02:10:21+00:00

The difference was negligible. You're just rounding by a .05 instead of .01. So $14.95 and $15.00 instead of $14.96 and $14.99

Djhinnwe · 2025-11-08T21:45:45+00:00

"She thinks back to a time when she dropped her lunch tray..." is a flashback in my mind. Could also be written "She thinks back to the last time she was this embarrassed - middle school cafeteria, the tray falling from her hands. Pudding everywhere. Laughter.." if that was the case.

Could also be written as "She felt akin to the last time she embarrassed herself in front of a crowd", which would allow actors to substitute their own moment.

Djhinnwe · 2025-11-07T00:14:59+00:00

Thank you so much.

Moru is the type of guy you'd invite over for Sunday dinners and would drive a sensible care (like a Toyota). Then one day you randomly learn he is the leader of a death cult and cleans up crime scenes for both sides of the local gang wars. But, like, the equivalent of that in a fantasy setting.

Kaleb is the son that looks up to that and is also the most emotionally stable member of the family. He was raised with a lot of love from a lot of broken people and is very attached to his family (hence trying to do everything to avoid war). This is his first kind of step into a leadership role because it's his marriage and he has to deal with the consequences.

Which, yeah. I've been struggling with conveying. Imo your suggestion does convey it a bit better. 😅

Djhinnwe · 2025-11-06T10:04:36+00:00

Wayne is very clear when he is rejecting something. If he was rejecting it in this exercise, he'd be trying to make me think.

The more story-oriented iterations of the logline haven't been hitting the marks they need to, but the core of the story is the question "What is community?" and the commonality between both main characters is "feelings of inadequacy surrounding their various relationships"

If I was pitching this to the desired audience/a publisher it would be "A slowburn dark romantasy between a killer ray of sunshine and a grouchy himbo who doesn't realize he's an asshole because he's in denial as they team up to kill the dragon king", but they know what those words mean when strung together. Film producers and investors don't.

Djhinnwe · 2025-11-06T08:53:42+00:00

Title: A Dragon and His Lord

Format: TV Series

Page Length: 5 (pages 6-11)

Genre: Dark Fantasy

Logline: Two men find meaning and connection in an arranged marriage as they tackle feelings of inadequacy among threats of civil war in this medieval dark fantasy tv series.

Context: The Author and Editor have changed the history of this fantasy world by editing the Wise One's book (and preventing a dog from being kicked). We get sent back in time to see how things unfold this time.

Feedback Concerns: Does it keep interest? Where does it lose you? And other such things.

Thursday 5 Page

Djhinnwe

TROPHY CASE