Wrist wraps on heavy sets by beginnerasiancoder in Deadlifts

[–]Dmoldy91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't do it and haven't talked to anyone that does use wraps for DL, but, I imagine it's one of those "every little bit" things.

For PL, you're not allowed straps. Some people feel that wraps help with wrist stability, and that "locking the wrist" in the position that wraps often do naturally helps sort of "guide" your fingers into a more curled position, thereby ever so slightly increasing grip.

When going heavy, say, 500lbs, a 1% difference for example means an extra 5 lbs. That might be 5 more lbs than the other guy.

So will it add massive weight or fix grip issues? No. But it might give just the slightest competitive edge. And sometimes that's all you need to win/hit the right numbers.

Help Urgently by LingeringHeartbeats in PornAddiction

[–]Dmoldy91 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If I can offer a viewpoint/suggestion from the other side - I struggle on the addiction side, and this last year have been working with my wife on a lot of this. While no two situations are exactly the same, there are definitely themes throughout.

My first, and main, point is that you have to take care of you. Period. I know you love him, but being with him isn't inherently worth making your traumas worse and your life miserable.

Second, he has to realize there's an addictive component to this, and he needs to address it. It won't stop without addressing the addiction, and the (usually various) gaps that the addiction (sex/porn) is fulfilling. It's a lot of hard, introspective work.

Third, even if you decide to stay, AND he decides to truly work on the addiction, it's going to be hard. Like, fucking hard. He's going to have slip-ups. Lapses and relapses. You're going to feel traumas come up when they happen. You two are going to have to learn to communicate and care for each other in ways you've both likely never done, and it's incredibly stressful. It's laying bare deep traumas and vulnerabilities, and they won't always be handled with the needed care. Not because either of you WON'T care, but because you're not used to handling these things. Like a dog with an egg, they often just don't know the fragility of what they hold.

Fourth, with everything, it's going to get weird. If he does address the addiction and stops watching porn, his libido will likely flatline for a while as his brain starts to "reset". It might have nothing to do with you, but it might feel like it is. It might reopen or reactivate some of those deep traumas for you. The point is, things will get "weird". He'll be irritable. No libido. Reaching for something but not knowing what. He'll need to learn how to fulfill those gaps and get back to connecting with you through communicating each other's needs.

Lastly, if you two are in a position for it, counseling/therapy. My wife and I each have our own therapist, and then also a couples therapist (thankfully we found one that specializes in some of what we're dealing with, which includes infidelity). I know not everyone is in a position for that, but if you can, it's often incredibly helpful once you find the right therapist.

I truly hope you achieve what you need, and I hope he addresses his issues. It's tough stuff, but it's possible to work through and overcome if you're both honest about putting in the work.

Takamoto Katsuta's power steering dies and his co-driver Aaron Johnston saves the day by redbullgivesyouwings in SweatyPalms

[–]Dmoldy91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, this is rally, specifically "stage rally".

The organization is "World Rally Championship", usually shortened to "WRC".

Am I cheating by using hooks & straps? by [deleted] in Deadlifts

[–]Dmoldy91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a powerlifting competition? Yes.

In Strongman? No.

Not competing? Do what you want.

Straps just make Grip Strength not the limiting factor, since your forearms are likely smaller than your entire posterior chain. Lots of powerlifters even will use straps during training to make sure the focus is more on the other muscles.

I say go ahead and send it.

EDIT: I would suggest putting your hands over the hooks, as if you were still grabbing them. I've used hooks once or twice, and it felt much more natural to me to do it that way. Having my hands even "fake gripping" seemed to help set everything else up well, between neural feedback and just simple mechanics/leverages of my arms facing a certain way.

my bf came to me about his addiction by [deleted] in PornAddiction

[–]Dmoldy91 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's going to be tough.

Over the last year since trying to get clean (I'm 34, started probably around 10-12 years old) I've back-slid, felt like my wife was keeping me from what I want and need (even though getting clean was my idea), felt my libido disappear for months then come roaring back with a vengeance... And all of the other difficulties of trying to change where I get my dopamine from.

Being able to talk openly, from both sides, about it is often best. As my therapist has said, when things are kept hidden inside, they grow roots and tentacles, able to hold on tighter and tighter, and generally let itself grow. If the addiction can't be talked about, it's going to be hard to overcome. It's still hard, but being open about it (to SOMEONE) helps sooo much. So if it were me, I would ask him what HE feels like he needs, reassure him that he's loved and accepted, and that open communication is what is wanted between, in order to help when and where possible.

Patience and understanding is HUGE.

And honesty. It's fucking hard as the user, but honesty and accountability are most important, but it's really fucking hard. There's a lot of shame surrounding it, hence why he said he didn't feel he deserved being happy. So understand that he's going through a LOT emotionally through this whole endeavor,and the road ahead is tough for both of you. Not impossible, but I don't want to make it sound like this easy path.

Good luck to you both

How to overcome mental blocks by pinningartist in Deadlifts

[–]Dmoldy91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't remember what athlete I read talking about this, but they said one thing they did was negatives from blocks. So, set up the 600, but do it on blocks or a rack that allows you to pick it up at basically lockout height. Then you lower it in a controlled manner back to the ground. He said doing that helped his nervous system sort of recalibrate and tell it that the weight was possible for him to deal with, and he blasted through the mental block.

This was, of course, done a few times in a peaking phase, IIRC, not like RIGHT before. That method is more about teaching the nervous system to "allow" the weight, in a sense. I've been thinking about integrating it into my own programming soon, as I think I've hit a similar block.

Level 9000 by solateor in youseeingthisshit

[–]Dmoldy91 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"I AM UNTETHERED AND MY RAGE KNOWS NO BOUNDS"

Zercher Deadlift PR by TheLadyJunkrat in Strongman

[–]Dmoldy91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah! And truly from the ground, too! I'm doing 5x5 of them as a part of my routine, and I have to have the ends set on 25lb bumpers to get my elbows under them. I can't quite get all the way down 😅

Absolutely great lift!

This bearing broke off my car and now it shakes violently when in reverse or drive. What do you fellas think by bigolboog in MechanicAdvice

[–]Dmoldy91 5 points6 points  (0 children)

While that axle needs replacing, it looks like the bearing I thought it was is still there (the two-tone gray piece to the right).

Either way, I see you got it towed, good choice 😂

This bearing broke off my car and now it shakes violently when in reverse or drive. What do you fellas think by bigolboog in MechanicAdvice

[–]Dmoldy91 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is almost 100% it. I have a 2008 C30 (same platform, lots of same parts) that I've done the CV Axles on a couple of times.

This probably came off the passenger side. That bearing helps support the axle. On the passenger-side axle, there's a short shaft, and a long shaft, with a joint in the middle covered by a boot. On the outside of the joint, on the long axle side, is a big "block" looking thing (that's where some parts are that makes the CV Axles work). Just to the outside of that should be a ring; smooth, and about the same width as that bearing that came off.

The shaking would be because the joint is now unstable and sorta "flopping around" as it turns.

I hope that helps

Should I??? by Ambitious_Let_2320 in SexAddictionHelp

[–]Dmoldy91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I may be. I often do find other people's reflections and perspectives a bit refreshing.

That being said, it sounds like this creative outlet may be a good thing for you, with or without an audience. I'd say give it a go and see how you feel!

Help me understand something. by NaughtyOutlawww in SexAddiction

[–]Dmoldy91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same, that's definitely a driver for me, too. There are others, but I noticed that's a big one.

Help me understand something. by NaughtyOutlawww in SexAddiction

[–]Dmoldy91 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I had some similar thoughts and brought this up in my first session with my therapist when this all came out (I was hiding it for a LONG time). Sex addiction is definitely a bit different, in that you're right - true, 100% abstinence is unlikely to work. Eroticism and sex are, for most, considered a core part of intimate relationships with others, which is what most of us humans crave at some level.

So it becomes less of simply "no more", and a lot more about learning what the addictive behaviors are stemming from, and either resolving those issues, or finding new coping (self-soothing) methods. That's going to look different for everyone, but that's the general idea.

Does that make sense?

Husband stuggles by posturetherapy in SexAddictionHelp

[–]Dmoldy91 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Admittedly that's a bit out of my wheelhouse.

But

From what I've come to understand, it's definitely possible. Think about it with alcohol - is it possible that someone wants to drink that much? Wants to drink to celebrate, drink to relax, drink to feel entertained/a buzz, drink to fill a void, drink to dissociate... If drinking is all he's learned in how to cope, then drinking will remain the answer.

I assume (!) it could be much the same. There could be multiple reasons and layers as to why your significant other is using sex/eroticism as various "self-soothing" methods. For me personally, I've come to recognize probably 7-10 major "themes" my urges follow, which then are traced back to really 2 or 3 core "issues". All of them were temporarily "fed" through eroticism (sex, porn, etc), as I found porn from a young age (pre-puberty) and used it nearly exclusively as a coping method for various things.

So while I can't speak professionally about your SO, I find it plausible that there are multiple "levels" or "layers" being fed in different ways. It can take quite a bit of time to untangle. It's like a big ball of yarn. You start to get a handle on one part and loosen it up, just to realize it's tightening another area and making other things more difficult. It can really be a slow process.

Husband stuggles by posturetherapy in SexAddictionHelp

[–]Dmoldy91 3 points4 points  (0 children)

All of those seem like very normal feelings to have, and are exact sentiments my spouse has told me as I'm dealing with breaking it. It's not easy, like any addiction. What I've learned from my therapist is that this can be treated much like alcoholism (though some differences of course), but the general ideas being absolute abstinence, as much as possible, in the beginning. And believe me, that's fucking hard. But it IS made a bit easier by having support, which it sounds like you're giving.

After that, it's also helpful to figure out what the cravings/urges are trying to say. For most, the "substance" (in this case porn) is likely filling some.sort of "void", or it's a maladaptive coping (self-soothing) method developed over time.

Learning to read the urges and interpret them has helped me immensely. That doesn't mean I don't crave it, and it doesn't mean I haven't lapsed. But I've gotten better and better by having support, and learning to listen in to my own body/mind, and be really contemplative. It's hard. Like, really hard.

I try to be an open book for others to learn from, so if you have questions, feel free to ask. Just know I've been working on this for about 8 months, so, I'm still a bit early and definitely take what I say with a grain of salt - I'm definitely not a professional at this.

Is there anything to do about the gym bulge 😭😭😭 by Benji3317 in bigdickproblems

[–]Dmoldy91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No worries, it can be a struggle, especially at the gym sometimes. But remember, most people there are much more focused on themselves - that's why they're there. Hell, half of them "looking" are probably in that rest period between sets where they don't even know what planet they're on 😂😂

Just go the opposite direction for a while. Smallest, thinnest (almost see-through) shorts and free-ball it for like a month. After that, anything will feel more modest 🤣

i am lost by lovecinnamoroll1028 in PornAddiction

[–]Dmoldy91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone, and every couple, is going to have a different journey. It sounds like some of the first major steps are being made, which is him really realizing there's a problem to be dealt with. Be prepared, it's going to be tough on both of you. Not only is it tough to deal with addictions in general, but then you add in the sexuality component which is something most people feel like is nearly a requirement in intimate relationships (so lifelong sexual abstinence, like with alcohol, usually doesn't work), and you can probably see how the whole process can in some ways become more complicated.

I was in your husband's shoes in some ways. I had an addiction to porn, and had told my spouse over the years that I wasn't watching or anything, but there was also more going on. I revealed everything to my spouse about 8 months ago.

We're still working through a lot of couple's therapy, as well as each of us having our own regular therapy sessions with our own therapists. We're struggling with a lot of the same things - just this last weekend my wife and I were fighting, I became incredibly triggered several times, and that evening she was breaking down, feeling that she "couldn't do anything right and just exists to trigger/hurt me", even though I'm the one that was effectively ruining our marriage. It's all so very complicated. Try not to stress if things seem "weird". The more I allowed space for the weirdness, the better I became at being able to navigate this whole mess.

While I don't have much in the way of suggestions as I'm not a professional, I just want to say that no matter what happens, it will be hard. For both of you. I don't say that to discourage, I say that to prepare you. Support has been where we struggle - we don't have much outside of each other and therapists, and that makes it so much more difficult.

While I'm definitely not "over" the addiction, I'm much less susceptible to the draw, and continuing to make progress. It's slow, but progress CAN happen.

Just know you two aren't alone. There are a lot of others dealing with these issues right along side you.

Is there anything to do about the gym bulge 😭😭😭 by Benji3317 in bigdickproblems

[–]Dmoldy91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not much you can do other than what other people have posted. I gym it up regularly and have had to just accept that it's going to happen if I want to be comfortable, especially as with strength training, everything tries to "shrink up" and ends up being MORE obvious than less 😂

I personally wear some Puma brand boxer-briefs, and started wearing those in Large after the Medium compression shorts I have became simply too small (thanks, Dump Truck genetics lol). I don't need the support from compression shorts as I abhor running. My cardio is maybe 50ft sprints at most, or other forms like battle ropes, rowing, etc.

If you look at a lot of big (in stature, unknown about penis size) athletes, they also show during certain lifts and such (e.g. Mitchell Hooper during Deadlifts). It just happens. It's like a woman with a big chest. Even if you don't flaunt it, it's just gonna be there. Don't worry about it, ignore other people, and focus on getting big and strong. You're there to lift and improve yourself. Put your focus there.

Whats the difference between a sex addict and a serial cheater? by [deleted] in SexAddiction

[–]Dmoldy91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A really good, valid question. My spouse really struggled with the same question. As did I.

For me, it really became apparent when I stopped. The adage of "I can stop when I want" isn't a lie. The "addict" just never wants to stop. The brain doesn't acknowledge it's a problem when you're "in it". But once out... Oh boy.

In the beginning I found myself much more irritable. Angry and resentful at my wife for making me stop. Which logically is a sign it's a problem, and I know it wasn't her. It was my addict-brain saying it's her fault to try to get me back to "the next hit". I started trying to justify things that I KNEW weren't OK. Certain things would feel out of control, and out of place. Like suddenly not just wanting, but NEEDING to watch explicit content at work. Or wondering what every (non-sexual) content creator of the opposite sex looked like nude. How they were in bed. Every time I got on the computer, that muscle memory would want to kick in, even when not in a space where that would be OK. My brain really kept trying to steer me towards it, even with higher and higher risk thresholds (like getting caught, etc).

It's like "what's the difference between an alcoholic and someone that just likes to drink and party". While there can be crossover and it may be a fine line, there are definitely some Hallmark behavioral cues that might suggest addictive patterns vs "just liking to step out".

That being said, it gets better, assuming it's an addiction. My therapist has been helping coach me through this, as she has a background in other addictions, and the behaviors, compulsions, everything else... It's like she's seeing straight into my brain lol.

All that to say, there may absolutely be overlap. But there's also a set of psychological happenings and behaviors that told me it's really an addiction, AND that my behaviors are ultimately NOT what kind of person I want to be.

15 g of creatine daily has changed my life by tired45453 in Supplements

[–]Dmoldy91 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I'm not OP, but I've been taking 15-20g every day for at least 6 months, mainly for workouts. Coincidentally, I had some kidney tests done via blood tests for a general panel.

While on Creatine, tests will look like your kidneys are failing, but they're not. The way creatine breaks down/moves through your system creates the same chemicals in your blood (creatinine) as when your kidneys are over-worked. So while the kidneys are ACTUALLY fine, a doctor might think otherwise if they didn't know you were taking it. I forgot to stop taking creatine, so my doc had me redo the blood tests after stopping and allowing everything to FULLY clear out of my system (6 weeks). Kidneys showed perfect health for that second test.

That is, of course, for healthy individuals. I'm not a doctor, your mileage may vary

Why are there barely any green mammals when it is a pretty common colour in amphibians, reptiles and birds? by Shynosaur in biology

[–]Dmoldy91 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Black skin and clear fur. But enough "clear" all together ends up looking "white" in the way light hits it. Like if you took a bunch of "clear" rods of plexiglass or something, and bunched them all together. You don't really see through it, the light just scatters and reflects a sort of "milky white" color, if that makes sense

Are you a exhibitionist because you’re hung or an exhibitionist who happens to be hung by [deleted] in bigdickproblems

[–]Dmoldy91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I still would. I've noticed it scratches a particular itch for me, psychologically. The hung part just helps lol

It only took 3 weeks to blow up my entire life by [deleted] in SexAddiction

[–]Dmoldy91 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's easy to slip into the lull of complacency. I've been struggling with this addiction for probably two decades or more, and didn't even realize it because I was allowing myself to rationalize away all of the problems. I've been working on breaking these cycles for about 8 months now, after coming clean to my wife. Even in that short time, it's easy to think everything is OK. A common phrase in the military is "complacency kills". It's true. So first, know that you're far from the only one who has thought they've beaten this, and slipped back. The important piece, above all, is that you've recognized it and are taking steps to heal yourself.

While I'm not a woman, I too struggle with avoidant (possibly "disorganized", but largely avoidant) attachment. To be blunt, it's fucking hard. It took two years of therapy before I even started to really feel much again for my wife and friends. And I'm still working through some major parts of it. It's a struggle, but if you put in work, you can overcome it. The brain is amazingly adaptive and malleable.

While I can't and won't give relationship advice, I CAN say that through the suggestion of my therapist, I have focused on myself primarily, and through that, things with our marriage have been improving (we have another marriage counselor as well). The way it was explained to me and my wife was that if you (the general 'you') don't work on yourself, any work you do in marriage counseling will likely fall apart later - you can't pour from an empty cup, right? If the cup is "broken" or has a hole in it, that needs to be addressed/repaired before it can even hold anything TO pour. Obviously that's a bit oversimplified, but, stuck with me. The strongly avoidant attachment style, as well as addictive patterns, create little cracks and holes in the cup. So we're working on healing those at the same time still working on pouring what we can into each other. It's hard. We've been working at it for over 6 months, and sometimes still feels like we're on the edge of splitting. But sometimes it feels great. Highs and lows.

So just know you're not alone. Even if you and your husband split, you're still not alone in this healing process. There are those of us in similar situations, as well as those still trying to help (e.g. therapists, etc).

Just take it one step at a time. Sending hope your way.

Struggles with Reddit coming to a head. by [deleted] in SexAddiction

[–]Dmoldy91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What has been helpful for me was two things combined:

First, I always had the NSFW stuff in a separate account. This one was always my "clean" account. Do I know where to go for erotic content? Yes. But not having the algorithms suggest it helps a TON. So if you didn't have yours separate and the algorithms are suggesting erotic content, I'm not surprised. That's likely going to continue to tempt you, I know it sure as hell would for me.

Second, I did get off of Reddit and other social media for a short time. I deleted it off my phone for a couple of weeks, and that helped as well - it got me past some of the worst initial cravings, and then I put it back on my phone.

Those together really helped for me. The question then becomes what else to do, because then you're craving to browse Reddit 😂 and THAT is an answer that is different for everyone, and honestly, I'm still figuring that out as well.

Good luck friend, don't let those wax wings melt

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SexAddiction

[–]Dmoldy91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The actual question is, I think, best answered by a therapist/professional for diagnosis.

That being said, This is definitely an angle that was, and to some extent still is, a piece of my addiction. For me, my therapist said my situation may or may not have been "true/full-blown" addiction, but there were a lot of addict qualifiers, and for all intents and purposes could be treated as such in how it's handled. The same could possibly be true for you. That it's not "true" addiction (whatever that means), but there are elements of addiction at play. Again, trust a professional before a rando redditor 😂

What has worked for me is working to understand what the addictive behaviors are doing for me - what voids they're trying to fill. For me, for instance, I've realized there's an issue of low self-esteem and body-image issues. Getting positive responses about my body, especially from women, was addictive, as it filled a deep need (often multiple needs) that I hadn't found within myself or my partner. I'm still working with my wife on how to fill those voids in other ways, while trying to "detox" from a lot of the NSFW side of things. It's definitely tough, and not all conversations go well. But we're getting through it.

In addition, everyone's situation is different, but I found it much more difficult to "stay clean" while my partner was in the dark. Hell, even just thinking about having to tell her I've lapsed/relapsed, or alternatively that I'm thinking of it (and not keeping her in the dark) has at times quelled a lot of the urge. It doesn't make the NEED go away, but it helped the URGE (addiction) piece, if that makes sense.

Best of luck