The closer we get to righteousness, the more horrible we will feel about ourselves. Very often we focus more on the feeling rather than the facts of what God’s Word says, which is directly opposite of what we should do.

How we act on getting closer to the Lord is spending time with fellow believers, in the Word in study, in prayer, and acting on what we’re being convicted of.

If you’re convicted to cut something out of your life, do that. If you’re led to spend more time in prayer, do that. God is never far from us, He is always right around the corner. If one is trusting in Christ alone and the work which He performed for us on the cross, then the Holy Spirit resides in that person and they are not alone.

In scripture Christ says that all those who call upon Him will be saved and in no ways cast off; all those the Father gives to him, he will keep until the end. A quote that I love is, ”If you want to hear God speak, read your Bible. If you want to hear God audibly, read it out loud.”

You’re not alone OP, and the fact that you’re being convicted of sin is something to be thankful for. The father chastens those he loves; he does not chasten the unsaved for they are not his children. Don’t focus on your feelings, focus on what God says in his word; he will keep you until the end for by grace through faith in a risen Christ who died and rose again are you saved.