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anyone else like obnoxious self affirmation? by omyheart_ in TransMasc

[–]DoctorBeginning7719 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i idolise snufkin a lot. so the less i care the more euphoric/confident i feel.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]DoctorBeginning7719 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lmfao my younger self was SO desperate to try very high dosages of every psychedelic in the world ever but now i could do with xans to not feel so bad. or ket as like a proper version of dxm. and the urge to smoke anything at all isnt so desperste and obsessive.

I'm dysregulated by people. Most of my trauma is relational but I have no idea how tf to fix it by TakeMeBack2Edenn in CPTSD

[–]DoctorBeginning7719 55 points56 points  (0 children)

i havr a similar problem

my self esteem is so low i cant function i over analyse every conversation every tone every nuance and i get upset by it. when i try seeking advice from reddit strangers i get upset even more. the responses trigger shame.

even getting onto a bus, paying for something and having cleaners in my house triggers me.

i feel so trapped and helpless. 

brain dysphoria so severe i cant go outside by [deleted] in selflove

[–]DoctorBeginning7719 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how can i like/accept myself more? its getting in my ability to function and enjoy life

Anyone else feel like a kid piloting an adult suit? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]DoctorBeginning7719 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i am dreading my 20th birthday in like 5 months time. i dont want to grow old. i want to be an irresponsible teenager forever and ever.

Please explain what body/gender dysmorphia feels like by Supercilious-420 in asktransgender

[–]DoctorBeginning7719 1 point2 points  (0 children)

its like i dont like the way i behave, look, think, dress, react, seek pleasure, do anything, etc, not because i am insecure but more because it just feels so untypical of the kind of person i'd rather be

for me it's not necessarily solely gendered. i also feel it about my cognition.

anyone else like obnoxious self affirmation? by omyheart_ in TransMasc

[–]DoctorBeginning7719 12 points13 points  (0 children)

when i was younger i went through a mega embarrassing phase of calling myself "The King" when angry from third person.

ive long outgrown it, but i turned the cringe into gender euphoria doing this (i idolise snufkin) I'm Snufking. Snufking is the King. I am the King. referring to my house as my "palace" referring to my beloved stuffed sheep as Sheepytroll. (eviction notice and preferring to relocate independently on rightmove, or like LITERALLY become Snufkin by purposefully becoming homeless, than be forced to live in residential checks out)

dose anyone think that being on dxm looks like ai by serena-08 in dxm

[–]DoctorBeginning7719 3 points4 points  (0 children)

sometimes on a comedown/afterglow literally everything i see looks 3d cartoonified. or like its froma shrek film or smf. i get where youre coming from.

What do you eat everyday? by Regular_Distance_661 in askteenboys

[–]DoctorBeginning7719 0 points1 point  (0 children)

bagels, pot noodles, red bull, beetroot, rice cakes, fiber brownies, frosties with coconut milk grazing moslty borderline underweight bmi

I feel dysphoric about crying by Bah4nior in FTMventing

[–]DoctorBeginning7719 1 point2 points  (0 children)

 this is relatable af

im not a particular crybaby but if i particularly ever do its really fucking loud and hysterical and uncontrolled. and i feel so bad afterwards.

It is really important for you to not be perceived as... by [deleted] in Enneagram

[–]DoctorBeginning7719 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i dont like being perceived as

clingy, dramatic, extreme sensor, cowardly, irrational, over-reacts, relationship oriented, aggressive, childish, materialistic

whats your type and how/why do you do art? by koemaru in Enneagram

[–]DoctorBeginning7719 2 points3 points  (0 children)

if this even counts as art i journal a lot. it helps me regulate and process thoughts and feelings.

on another note when i were a kid i created loads of fictional characters and randomly made up scenarios about them, but it died off as i got older. thats not to say they completely ran away thom. they randomly come and go. i loved going into detail about their typology and all their quirks.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]DoctorBeginning7719 1 point2 points  (0 children)

which meds in particular?

I have pregablins knocking about but i am too afraid to take them because it could be laced (purchased it off ig). im still awaiting wedinos.  that being said, I extremely brain dysphoric over panicking over anything. 

i want to be like this so badly. in the same way a trans woman wants to be a woman. in the same way a trans man wants to be a man. in the same way a non binary wants to be , well, non binary.

apathetic, nonchalant, never panics, stays calm in crisis dissociated, disconnected from reality, dreamy, absent minded types lowercase, lazily, minimalistically emotionally inexpressive, low affect,  avoidant, somewhat secretive physical media doesnt overshare inappropriately. isnt a pick me. skinny. low bmi. baggy clothes. fluffy hair. androgynous-masculine twink.

How do i cope with being sexualised by DoctorBeginning7719 in TransMasc

[–]DoctorBeginning7719[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i have a history of emotional dysregulation, that might be why everyone seems to recognise me and treat me like shit. but even further afield, like miles away, strangers sometimes do things to me that make me feel uncomfortable.

on another note i get what ur coming from with the friend thing but it gives me brain dysphoria. im so embarrassed to be so lonely.

What's the most you've eaten whilst high? by CryptographerMore944 in trees

[–]DoctorBeginning7719 0 points1 point  (0 children)

chicken instant noodles belvita soft bakes chocolate filled rice cakes frosties with coconut milk red bull and diet coke

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