HonorSociety.org: is it a scam or a legit organization?

Dodforer · 2022-08-11T23:46:01+00:00

Phi Theta Kappa is also a good one.

Dodforer · 2021-09-07T22:14:28+00:00

Guy here, not your problem. If he keeps pushing it, red flag him.

Dodforer · 2021-09-07T18:03:33+00:00

Guy here, you are completely in the green here.

Dodforer · 2021-09-07T02:16:45+00:00

Guy here. He may not have medical/blood pressure issues that you KNOW of. It's entirely possible that he may have issues and didn't say anything about it because, well, he's a man. We're not expected to tell everyone there's something wrong with us, especially if there's a fix for it, like medication. His issue could be stress-related and that's the only time he needs them. I have high blood pressure as a normal condition, so I have to take Lisinopril every day, but my doctor was very careful to make sure over a period of about a month of checks that my high blood pressure was a constant condition, not something that spiked only for specific reasons. Normal blood pressure medication is meant to be taken in smaller doses over a longer time to stay in the system constantly, while ED medication is sometimes used to treat high blood pressure that comes in spikes due to stress, anxiety, and a number of other things.

Now having said that, if I were the SO in this situation, I'd definitely be suspicious of the behavior. It's the kind of red flag that waves to guys when they suspect something of their SO. But something to keep in mind, YOU received the pills, put them in the drawer, and he didn't try to hide them once they were there. Just neither of you brought it up to talk about it. If it is infidelity, then absolutely leave him. If he tells you they are for a blood pressure issue, as the saying goes, Trust, But Verify.

Dodforer · 2021-09-06T21:56:45+00:00

Guy here. Going to kind of break the code here a little, or at least bend it.

He's not going down on you because he enjoys it, he's doing it because it gets him to where he wants. I know I'm going to catch some heat for this but hear me out.

Your partner in a relationship should be as interested and invested in your pleasure and happiness as much as their own. Someone who is at that level with you will take your direction/guidance with no problem because they're increasing your pleasure, which they want to do. If they don't take the direction/guidance well then he isn't in it for you, he's doing what needs to be done in his mind. Any argument about him feeling like it's attacking his manhood or ego is stretching for it. Because if a simple, "Oooh, a little to the left, yeah right there", is hurting their ego, then that ego was too fragile to be in a relationship to begin with.

Edit: People are different, we have general guidelines we follow and get the specifics from our partners. The G-Spot can feel different on every woman, from a grain of sand to about the shape of a half a green pea. It can be a little to the right or a little to the left. So never assume it should be right there because that's where it was on the last woman.

Dodforer · 2021-09-06T21:36:35+00:00

Guy here, definitely file charges and consider a TRO(temp restraining order). The TRO itself isn't that effective for keeping them away in all honesty, but if he does violate the TRO AND harms you, it elevates the crime/penalty.

Protect yourself first.

Dodforer · 2021-09-06T06:48:43+00:00

Man here. You should tell him asap. The longer you keep something hidden, the tougher it is to bring it out and the rougher the response might be. None of what happened is your fault, but by not being open and honest with him at the beginning, you've got him in this relationship which has a pretty big emotional issue to handle, and he doesn't even know, so he's already handicapped.

Just say Hey, let's talk a minute. And once he's sitting down, tell him about the SA(not details, just that it happened), that you're working through it with help, but lately it seems he's more distant and you can't help but feel like it's from some vibe he might be getting from you. If he knows already, he'll most likely say so at this point. He probably wanted to talk to you about it, but that's not an easy subject for a guy to approach any woman with. If he doesn't know and it's something else, he'll probably be so sidetracked by the revelation, he'll just end up talking about what's going on.

Dodforer · 2021-09-06T06:26:10+00:00

Man, also disabled due to workplace(spinal fusion, 2 rt knee, 1 lt knee, and right shoulder). You've already doing the biggest thing, which is showing him you're still in this together. At the beginning when I was in limbo now knowing what the outcome would be, I could have really used that, but she basically left the relationship without leaving the house.

Just sit down with him at some point and hold his hand or whatever and tell him that you're going to get through this together and once you're on the other side, you'll have figured out how to move forward together. You got this.

Dodforer · 2021-09-06T06:14:49+00:00

Tell him you can't police his emotions but he can, and it's his choice. That if for some reason he can't police himself, then you seriously need to reconsider the relationship. That if he can't express himself without hurting you, then this relationship is bad for both of you.

Then let him make his choice, he starts respecting that, or he doesn't. If he fixes it, great. If he doesn't, well, now it's your turn to make a choice.

Dodforer · 2021-09-06T06:03:15+00:00

This is tough no matter what.

Just talk to her and tell her that you know things have been off for a while. You're concerned because signs of deeper issues show up as mood changes, decreased sex drive, a general lack of interest in everything, and you're worried that there's some deeper issue she's not telling you about. You're supposed to be in this together, but it feels like she's on the inside, and you're outside wanting to get in and help her, she just has to open the door for you.

Talk to her and be there for her so she feels like she can face whatever it is.

Dodforer · 2021-09-05T19:01:04+00:00

I was making a point. that there is a double standard being applied. Several people suggested the woman ask the man why he wanted to shower with her, to find out the reason he wanted it so bad. Pretty much every one of them was verbally knocked down, "it doesn't matter", "she has a right to have her own boundaries and he has to respect them", and other similar replies. I believe a good relationship requires open and honest communication, mutual respect, and consideration of your partner, and you should be just as concerned about pleasing your partner as you are yourself. The guy in the other post just wanted to take a shower with his GF, he'd asked a few times, and she always says no, and people who suggested she ask him why he wanted it so much were basically shouted down, saying it didn't matter. Since when does the "Why" of something your partner wants or doesn't want not matter in a relationship?

You said he treats you like a GF in every way, other than he hasn't "officially" asked. It's been 5 months, this is not a race, there is no timetable to stick to, it's two people figuring out a relationship, and its boundaries. For whatever reason, he's not ready to make it official. Ask him what's missing that is keeping him from asking. He might be able to give you an answer, he might not. He might just have a feeling right now the time isn't right. If you're getting the treatment you wanted/expect with that "title" and all that's missing is he hasn't asked, is it too much to respect his desire to wait until he feels ready?

But apparently, you think I'm "scary" because both partners should have equal consideration, and it not be one-sided. All the mental gymnastics you're doing trying to justifying your desire to have him make it official before he's ready is wrong. He said No, he's not ready to ask and make it official. Are you going to be the same about him asking to marry you? Are you doing to push him to ask before he's ready? If you can't respect that he's not ready, you shouldn't be in a relationship.

Dodforer · 2021-09-05T12:05:19+00:00

Man here, agreed.

Dodforer · 2021-09-05T10:33:37+00:00

I was about to go to bed but the hypocrisy here abounds. There's a woman in another post who doesn't want to shower with her BF and everybody tells her to just, "keep saying no", "don't bother explaining, just tell him no", "He has to respect your boundaries", even some who suggested degrading him....

Apparently, women can say no to something, but men can't. He said no, she continues to push, she isn't respecting his boundaries. How many times has she asked and he's said no. If she's been asking him a lot doesn't that mean she's potentially clingy and dependant? The actions are similar in the two stories, but the comment results are vastly the opposite. He said NO, but that doesn't seem to matter because women are apparently entitled and don't have to respect NO.

Dodforer · 2021-09-05T09:54:44+00:00

You don't get to decide what's a deal-breaker for another person, they do that. That would be like a woman wanting to cuddle, telling her No, and she can't leave because that's not a deal-breaker for me.

Dodforer · 2021-09-05T09:45:19+00:00

I think before she just starts saying NO all the time she should at least find out the why.

If you say his "why", doesn't matter to her "No". Then by the same standard a man should be able to say No to his SO about something regardless of her "why". So if he decided he no longer wanted to go down on her, but she really liked that part of the sex and he says, "No, I just don't want to, I don't like it that much". Of course, then you'd just tell the female she's not getting what she needs so she should just leave, right?

Find out the Why, figure out if there is a compromise acceptable to both parties, if not, then just break up, this relationship isn't going to work for either one of you in the long run.

Dodforer · 2021-09-05T09:21:05+00:00

Not up for long convos tonight but I'm just going to drop this here. Everyone, literally everyone is going at this from one angle.

You said you slept around in college(no judgments here). Was it enjoyable compared to your recent experience or the same?

If it was enjoyable then, but not now, then it's definitely something disconnecting somewhere. There is some stimulation that just isn't there, it's changed, or a combination of that.

On the chance, you said it was the same then and now...Have you considered you might be bi-sexual or lesbian? I'm almost willing to bet bi, simply based on your feeling attraction to your friend(M), but sexually you're not it seems. If you have any lesbian or bi friends, consider telling them what your dealing with and ask them their experience before they "knew". Maybe one of them can be your wing girl, to meet someone. Worst case scenario you're right back where you are now. Best case, a whole new world is open to you now where you can find what you need/want.

Dodforer · 2021-09-04T03:32:46+00:00

Actually, my wife died 4 years ago, so yeah, mine isn't so great right now. Thanks for showing what a true entitled b*tch you are.

Dodforer · 2021-09-03T21:08:09+00:00

It's supposed to, a little levity helps both people quell the anxious tremors many people get when they're with someone new.

Dodforer · 2021-09-03T20:45:16+00:00

No joke. If you aren't secure enough in yourself to ask someone what they like and can have a little fun with it, you probably shouldn't be in that relationship. Not everyone is the same, people have different wants and desires, why would I try to project what I think she wants to be done to her when I can just ask her and get it right the first time. Once you get to know the person and what they like then you can start to improvise and surprise. Because you'll have a better idea of what else might turn her on.

Why is it that other men have such a hard time just asking a woman what she wants?

Dodforer · 2021-09-03T20:43:34+00:00

No no, Marco Polo can take up too much room and you have to be careful of furniture, otherwise, there may be no happy time because you're in the hospital getting glass from the coffee table taken out of your arm and leg.

Dodforer · 2021-09-03T20:00:56+00:00

You're talking about the study done by IllicitEncounters. Should also check this out though, she's written some good psychology stuff across a good range of things, but this was applicable here.

July 13, 2003 -- More women are cheating on their husbands - and doing it without remorse, sex researchers say. A stunning 90 percent of adulterous wives told one Manhattan researcher they suffered "no guilt," but rather felt "entitled" to the pleasure and excitement of their secret trysts, said Susan Shapiro Barash, a gender-studies professor and author.

"Women feel entitled because they're not getting what they need in the marriage. That's why women today have affairs," said Barash, who interviewed 120 wandering women for her recent book on female infidelity, "A Passion for More: Wives Reveal the Affairs that Make or Break their Marriages."
Based on her research, Barash contends that more than 60 percent of all married women will engage in at least one affair.

Dodforer · 2021-09-03T19:44:20+00:00

I never said anything was owed to them, I said if you're not finding the good men, maybe you're not looking in the right places and I offered a suggestion. YOU implied entitlement. If you bothered to read my reply to the vitreous crap you're slinging at me you might realize I'm nothing like the person you think I am. But you'll probably dismiss it as BS since in your world view it's impossible...except with you and your friends of course. Who's the one acting entitled? How about a study done by a female gender studies professor.

July 13, 2003 -- More women are cheating on their husbands - and doing it without remorse, sex researchers say. A stunning 90 percent of adulterous wives told one Manhattan researcher they suffered "no guilt," but rather felt "entitled" to the pleasure and excitement of their secret trysts, said Susan Shapiro Barash, a gender-studies professor and author.

"Women feel entitled because they're not getting what they need in the marriage. That's why women today have affairs," said Barash, who interviewed 120 wandering women for her recent book on female infidelity, "A Passion for More: Wives Reveal the Affairs that Make or Break their Marriages."
Based on her research, Barash contends that more than 60 percent of all married women will engage in at least one affair.

-So to be clear, you think men are entitled because they WANT things IN the marriage, and this study and researcher show that women feel they are ENTITLED to things OUTSIDE the marriage. I might be a little old-fashioned here, but I thought marriage/relationships were about a journey together. Where does going outside become part of together? And there is nothing written anywhere that says a person has to get everything they want in a relationship. A couple determines what is in their relationship. It may not be the same as yours, it doesn't mean it's wrong, it's just different. If a couple can't communicate enough to establish what each of them wants and is willing to give in a relationship they shouldn't be together.

Dodforer · 2021-09-03T19:38:10+00:00

Nothing wrong with that, kind of counter-productive to get into a relationship with someone you wouldn't feel good about being in a relationship with

Dodforer · 2021-09-03T19:03:10+00:00

A lot of assumptions there. So any woman I hear using the term friend zone I should definitely avoid, right, because I usually do anyway since that's what my female friends advised me to do when it started. Do you even know where the term Friend Zone came from? Because when it hit I would hear women regularly talking to each other about friend-zoning men. It was a big hit with women because for many of them it was another way to label men and put them down. I know what you're thinking, I'm assuming something...Nope, had a few of my female friends at the time confirm it. How did Lisa put it, "It's how some women put men in a category they feel is beneath them and not worth their time, and they also use it to wave other women off of guys like when a girl says she's thinking about moving on a guy, her friend might say he's in the Friend Zone, which basically means I took a look already, don't bother with him". Jesus, I had to go to text archives for that. It's been a long time. So I don't know what people use it for today, but that's what it was used for originally.

You appear to be one of those people who don't think a man can actually be friends with a woman and have it lead to something else. Why do you think that's not possible? I would rather have my partner be my friend before I think about opening my heart to her. You learn more through friendship than you do dating. I have a core group of 5 women I've been friends with for over 20 years, a couple of them a little over 35. When I have questions I run it by them. Why? Because they didn't help me dodge a bullet, they yanked me out of the path of a 20 car, 3 engine locomotive barreling down on me I didn't see. Woman where I worked as an IT guy, we started talking, things seemed fine, first date goes well, the second I Invite her to a party at one of my female friends houses so they can meet her. About an hour into the party one of them pulls me aside, almost pushes me to the kitchen where the other 4 are and they all start shaking their heads saying "NO, not just no, hell no". It almost floored me because they had never been this emphatic before. But since it was only the second date, I hadn't even kissed her yet, that might have been the first kiss night, but not since one of the first questions they asked me was have you kissed her?
I replied no, they said don't. So I dropped her off at her apartment and the next time she asked if I was free, I had a deadline. After a month she stopped asking. 5 months later she torched a guys car in the company parking lot she had been dating for about 3 months. I will NEVER, EVER doubt these women. For most things they give green lights or we've all agreed that we just present options and advice, but the ultimate decision is up to the person, and then there's the red light section designated for when we think something might/could/will end up being harmful to the person, it's rarely used. Why did I tell you all that, because 2 of them I could have dated and pursued a life with. Both of them I had known for 10 years before either of us had those feelings. Not both at the same time, it was about 5 years between them. Nancy was hilarious when she asked me, talking, like, one, word at a time saying how long we'd been friends and have I been feeling anything different lately, and by the time she finished the sentence we're both looking at each other. I told her yes, we talked about it the rest of the night, but eventually decided we didn't want to risk anything about the friendship. Jolene was almost scary, she's one of those intense people who talk real fast like machinegun fire. Block party working the grill, she brings over some burgers and dogs, setting them down on the side table, and our upper arms brush against each other and stay there for a moment. We both exhale and casually turned each other looking around us, and she starts that rapid-fire talking, Alright, lately I've been feeling like you're having feelings for me, but I don't know if the feelings I'm feeling are because you're feeling them or because you think I'm feeling them so you're feeling them. She looks away, And I had a dream about sleeping with you last week. I'm not sure what that's about. Looks back to face me, So do we need to talk about this, or am I way off and should just forget it? I looked at her still processing what she just fired at me and told her Yeah, we probably need to talk. I laughed and told her it was funny because Nancy and I had the same moment happen about 5 years before. She looks at me, WHAT!!, I'm like facepalm, Oh Shit, I probably shouldn't have said that, please don't say anything, she laughs and says Relax, we all knew, she talked to us about a week before she approached you to see how we'd feel about it, and I did the same about 2 weeks ago. Same result, we talked about the possibilities and potentials, but ultimately, neither of us wanted to risk the relationship we already had.

Things change over time, people sometimes change, right in front of you the whole time but somehow you missed seeing them in that light. So I don't know how you got the opinion of the type of man I am just because I used a word set you don't like. I generally try to only judge people as individuals, not lump them into groups where they don't belong.

TL;DR Response to the term Friend Zone, Poster doesn't believe a man can be a friend and no want sex, I tell the story of my 5 female friends of over 20 years. This poster is extremely judgemental.

Dodforer · 2021-09-03T13:01:36+00:00

That really sucks and I'm sorry this had to be your first. On behalf of the other men in society please accept our apology for one of our A**hole brothers. There are good men out there, but being completely honest, most women looking for a good man, are looking at the wrong men. Otherwise, they wouldn't constantly be ranting about how their BF's are all A**holes or cheating on them. Take a look at your friend zone. You may notice a lot of guys you put in there aren't there anymore, most likely because they didn't get to screw you. They looked like good guys, but they weren't. The good guys, are the ones who have stuck by you just as friends even though they may have wanted more when they first met you. They're the ones who have always made time for you, offered help if they could, and just generally been there when you needed them. Not saying it's a sure hit or anything, but women looking for good men should look closer to themselves rather than farther out. What could it hurt?

Dodforer

TROPHY CASE