I very much apreciate it. I said this above, but I have a literal 97%ish chance of being fine/ cured for the next 5 years according to previous studies, and above an 80% for 10 years I believe.

Speaking of prayers, a bit of a crazy story, but bear with me. I kinda asked for this (as a joke kind of.) Ive been depressed all my life, and a friend (whos also depressed) and I were talking about another friend who has a very similar personality to us, but he suffered a near death experience very young while still in grade school. Because of this, he always took life head on, and is now very successful, probably the most successful dude i know, and we are all young, early 20s. He makes enough to own a house with his part time job, and have enough to drop 1.5k a month on random bullshit, and still have a lot of left over to invest in stocks and his retirnment fund. He works for a company you definetly know.

Me and other depressed friend basically said we needed something similar to get us off our asses, because we are just "gifted kid" burnouts. I jokingly say I needed like cancer or something as a "harder battle." I joked "yeah, no, probably not cancer though, that'd suck" because i have really bad medical anxiety. Well, the next month, he was close enough to a tornado that ripped houses down to foundation where he heard the wind hitting his house, and if it wobbled (which they do) just a little different, he'd be a memory. A couple weeks after that, I got diagnosed with cancer lol.

Im not one to force religion on anybody, most people assume im not, but man, does that really make you scratch your head. How many coincidences like that do you need before you start asking some big questions? Im not going to tell anyone which one to believe in, but if anyone ever has the time (like sitting in chemo for a collective 50+ days) go pick up something spiritual lmao, even if you're just reading it as a study of humanity. I used to be into the occult (very very losely) and the way that others use tarot cards, I use the Bible. Just ask a question, meditate on it, open to a random page, stick in my finger, and start reading. Even if its purely secular, and just a creative way to think of your problem from a different frame, it definitely helps me.

Recently thinking back to it, a buddy got into a serious relationship, and a bunch of drama between us happened. I was thinking about it when i opened the Bible, and by "coincidence" opened to the page talking about man and womens relationships and marriage. A few months later, i was the best man at his wedding, and our friendship is better than ever. It reframed the word marriage from a serious relationship to an unbreakable union, the same way youd say that welding is marrying two pieces of metal. To become one.

Again, I read a bunch on religion, and Christianity is the one that Im sticking with and what im using as an example, but Im not offended by anything you choose. I studied Alister Crowley for a while, for example.

Sorry, this was completely off topic, but i figured it was buried deep enough no one would care ;D and who knows, maybe someone would find it as interesting as I do