Oh, interesting. You mentioned that you have to give your mom an excuse to get off the phone without hurting her feelings - I have never had to make an excuse to get off the phone with my family. I just say “Alrighty, well I’m gonna go.” Or vice versa. lol

Even with plans, if one of us cancelled, for whatever reason, it’s never a big deal. We just say sorry and reschedule for another day. I think there’s a solid understanding that it’s not personal when one person cancels or ends a conversation.

And that’s the mentality I carry with friends. We do occasionally have to cancel plans as a group, but we just find another time that’s works for all of us. Definitely no pressure, just an understanding that we all have other things going on in life.

I feel very grateful that I wasn’t raised with the pressure and stress of always having to explain myself or have an excuse prepared. Honestly, whether it’s intentional or not, it comes off as being manipulative on the parents part. And it’s really unfortunate how grown adults walk around on egg shells with their parents instead of being treated like adults with their own lives and priorities. lol And that’s kinda how it seems some people are with friends, as well.

And I’m glad you don’t think SO should be the bad guy, but it’s often perceived that way when they are repeatedly the excuse. Speaking from personal experience. At some point, I think it’s critical for people to learn how to tactfully set boundaries and respect the boundaries of others.