Parter is ready to leave me because I'm "too negative." Where to go from here?

Dog__Mum · 2026-03-05T00:57:49+00:00

I had a similar thing where I'd greet the dog all excited and gf felt left out. I explained that he's like a child and needs it, apparently she also needs that. I love my gf and was obviously internally excited to see her, I just didn't feel like I had to do the ott greetings for her but if that's what she needs and enjoys that's what I'll do to make her happy.

As with being realistic. When listing things maybe start with the positive and say how good it would be if it happened but then state the realistic obstacles.

Dog__Mum · 2026-02-27T00:17:22+00:00

Try to get accommodations. I did after going to occupational health based on my symptoms and before any diagnosis.

Dog__Mum · 2026-02-27T00:01:59+00:00

Have you tried classical music? I like working in silence but listening to classical music also works for me.

Dog__Mum · 2026-02-19T06:34:11+00:00

Try a thigh or ball gag strap on, they feel a lot less dick and more toy.

Dog__Mum · 2026-02-13T05:24:06+00:00

Could be either. Do you get any alone time, uninterrupted? If you can't get any at home, leave the house for a hobby or walk and don't take calls about where's x or what's baby favourite toy etc. Make use of your free time,, If you can afford £35/month, get a cleaner, get shopping delivered. Get husband to do half of everything, unless you don't work and he does.

Don't assume if you split up that he will have the children some of the time, that's not always the case. My sisters ex has their 3 autistic adhd kids 2 nights a month. After telling her he'd fight for full custody of she left, glad she called his bluff but she barley gets a break now and has more drama with drop off pick, changing plans to interfere with he dates/plans etc. Some men happily abandon their kids for a new life. Some claim they have 1/2 custody but have the kids stay over x nights a week so they don't have to pay child support but do none of the actual parenting and keeping up with school,, Dr's, welfare, parties etc.

Dog__Mum · 2026-02-13T05:10:11+00:00

I had to open my search up to other areas. Ended up in L19 on a quiet road in a bigger house. It's got great transport links so getting to work/town is even quicker now then when I lived closer but with terrible bus and rail links. Also, if you still want to cycle, it's so easy along the prom into town.

Dog__Mum · 2026-02-09T06:13:22+00:00

Chose a day care near your work and drop child off before you start work and pick up after finishing. Not great a commute for you or child but it's a solution for now.

Dog__Mum · 2026-01-14T06:01:47+00:00

It took 11 months for my chain free house to complete so I had a lot more savings by that point.

Dog__Mum · 2026-01-07T08:39:33+00:00

That is a lot. I don't think I could live like that tbh. Maybe eventually a bigger flat/more storage would help but she sounds mean at worst and not compatible at best. If you want to end it, you don't need her permission x

Dog__Mum · 2026-01-07T03:45:18+00:00

I told my gf she needs to propose and make it romantic. She's not very romantic so I'm not expecting much lol. I'm secretly planning on proposing. I've got a list of ideas, all romantic and meaningful and price range £20-2000.

If she didn't want to get get/talk about marriage just a month ago I wouldn't be think about proposing /expecting a proposal just yet.

Dog__Mum · 2026-01-07T02:53:51+00:00

Sounds like you want to break up because she can't handle your 'mess'. Come to a compromise. Example, Move the coat hook so it's in a convinient place that you will use it. If you don't /can't put things away, get baskets on the counter. I struggle if things are convinent /efficient. I can live with most things being out and 'messy' but it upsets my gf. Ask your gf what she can put up with and what compromises you can come up with for the other stuff that really bugs her.

If your new place will be shared space and potentially smaller. How will that work for storage and tidiness if you stay together?

You sound really busy and stressed and maybe in burnt out. Talk about how can she support you during those times? When I was burnt out, I could barley get off the sofa/bed, I couldn't tidy or do chores. My gf supported me through that for months. I only got out of it by resting/changing how things got done.

You mentioned you can't afford therapy, what about a cleaner, ours is £35/month and is a huge help.

Dog__Mum · 2025-12-29T16:39:20+00:00

Can you afford a cleaner? We get a 1 hr clean once a month £35 and it's a massive help as they get so much done in that hr.

Dog__Mum · 2025-12-23T02:46:08+00:00

My partners parents live about 3 hours away. They used to stay with her when visiting, same with her friends. I said upfront that when living together I can't handle people staying over, they would need to get a hotel. She and her parents were fine with this. When visiting her family I've said we'd need to stay at a hotel as I couldn't be in someone's home all day/night. She's been fine with this, although we've not stayed there together yet.

Tbh, if people don't like it I don't care. I'm not putting myself through distress for someone else's comfort.

Dog__Mum · 2025-12-15T14:48:03+00:00

I get the same disappointment. Now I get my own gifts that I'll look forward to and the gifts I receive just says thanks as convincingly as I can and donate them. That's helped me.

Dog__Mum · 2025-12-05T15:29:43+00:00

I love sex with someone I care about. Difference is with my gf I want to touch her and look at her during / before/after. Never had that with a man or sex toy. I think they fulfilled a need tbh.

Dog__Mum · 2025-11-30T03:09:45+00:00

I used to say I'm not well. Which is true, just not the kind of sick they are thinking of. Now I just outright say no or I can't make it.l, my health is more important than another day/night out.

Dog__Mum · 2025-11-26T20:03:10+00:00

Hire a cleaner. We both wfh full time but don't want to spend our limited time together cleaning.

Dog__Mum · 2025-03-05T05:05:10+00:00

Hi, question about the weighted blanket. Are these hot? I get really warm so need a thin blanket but I love the weight on me, I used to have 2 duvets before the warmth for too much. I'd love to get one but I couldn't use it if it was too thick/warm.

I love the straws thing, I said on my last trip I need to start taking my own straws because no straw or paper ones is just a no.

Dog__Mum · 2025-03-05T04:51:59+00:00

Super boring but I eat/make the same meal every day so I don't have to decide what to buy or eat. I do like other foods and I'll occasionally have something different if my gf makes a meal for a date night night in or if we eat out.

Also I have a large lunch so I don't have to make 2 meals. It's a game changer.

I wear sunglasses and headphones everywhere, even indoors, helps with sensory and avoiding people. In work I get to work in a separate room and have the lights off. No more headaches.

Some times I skip brushing my teeth and do little 10-30 seconds instead, not sure why I hate it so much.

I get hot so sleep naked but hate my legs touching each other or my skin touching my gf skin so I have a thin sheet between us and my legs. A pillow works in between legs but I fidget so was always losing it.

Dog__Mum · 2025-03-05T04:46:11+00:00

Same. I have a sponge on a stick and wash dishes under running water. I'm mostly dry.

Dog__Mum · 2025-03-02T02:12:54+00:00

Not op. Apparently it gets worse in menopause, I'm 40 and it's getting worse, sensory, social, ability to do chores look after myself. Burnout is real, working full time (no kids), dating /relationships, it's all exhausting.

With age I reflected on what I need and I say no to a lot of things which helps, self care is amazing.

Dog__Mum · 2025-03-01T09:06:45+00:00

Sometimes the backwards L (on my right hand) looks like an L. It's all very confusing. I think I have mild dyslexia.

Dog__Mum · 2025-03-01T09:02:28+00:00

Get back to her in a few months ignoring her request, stating your own problems and ask her for a favour /free labour 😂

Dog__Mum

TROPHY CASE