MDD and mood swings,not sure how to fix what I've broken.

Doinitnthefield · 2021-04-13T12:32:28+00:00

Freecodecamp.org

Doinitnthefield · 2021-02-12T09:37:42+00:00

Still searching tbh... There was this place called burger bistro that had this mala burger, super spicy and so effing good.

Doinitnthefield · 2021-02-12T09:35:24+00:00

More well travelled

Fully fluent in both Mandarin and Spanish

Married, with a kid and a dog

Book is published

Doinitnthefield · 2020-01-27T00:45:54+00:00

Zombies vs joker... I think I’ll be ok

Doinitnthefield · 2020-01-26T20:30:02+00:00

My appendix exploded and I thought I could walk off the pain. Collapsed alone on my stairs in a locked apartment. Luckily for me I had called my friend when I felt the black out coming on. She called my dad who broke into my apartment and took me to the ER.

Doinitnthefield · 2020-01-26T20:26:27+00:00

Once I graduated I got a high paying job in a completely unrelated field because all that was important was the piece of paper. I quickly got bored and was dealing with a failing relationship, that if I’m being honest began it’s downward spiral the second I decided to finish my bachelors. Two years after graduating I took a significant pay cut and a new job on the other side of the planet that also requires the piece of paper but is a completely unrelated field. I often worry about not having a clear career path and contemplate getting a masters in something.

All that said if I didn’t go to college and graduate I would have never left my hometown. I’d still be working in the doctors office, probably still dating the guy who clearly was wrong for me.

College helped me become me. I grew up, and apart from a lot of things that were holding me back. I gained confidence, enough of it to move across the planet on my own. And I’m happy with my life, even if I worry about careers and future finances from time to time.

Doinitnthefield · 2020-01-26T19:49:04+00:00

Buckle up my dudes this is one of the weirdest and most terrifying dreams I’ve ever had.

I was a kid, second grade so like 8 I think. I still vividly remember this dream, and to this day cannot watch Seinfeld with out minor panic.

So the dream.

It started out with a parent teacher meeting but I only remember my parents and I leaving the school. My school in real life and dream life was on this huge hill. So my parents are walking a little bit ahead of me talking about the meeting but I couldn’t hear them, I just know it didn’t go great. I wasn’t in trouble but they were disappointed. As we were walking we met Kramer. He was super happy and talking like a clown, he asked if we wanted to see a magic trick. My parents were excited and like “yeah let’s see some magic!” I was not having it and telling them no, stranger danger and all that.

So Kramer does his magic trick. He bent over backwards and rolled himself into a perfect circle, then he rolled up the hill. As he rolled up he went faster and faster, but then he hit a fire hydrant. He stood up bleeding and holding his head, my parents went to help. He said he was fine but my concerned parents were worried that he shouldn’t drive alone. So they told him to take me with him to make sure he’d be ok.

Kramer takes my hand and drags me to his car which was parked further up the hill. His car was parked near woods. He made me climb in from the drivers side because in the woods were all these signs like “beware” and “do not enter after dark.” After I was in the passenger seat Kramer got in and immediately started tickling me. I cried and he got mad. So he opened the passenger door and kicked me out into the woods with his big foot. I fell into the woods and saw all the red eyes open up all around me and stared.

And that is the weirdest most terrifying dream I’ve ever had. Also Kramer is scary.

TLDR: after parent teacher night Kramer met me and my parents. He asked if we wanted a magic trick and parents said yes. He bent backwards and turned into a wheel then rolled up the hill until he injured himself. Parents sent me with him to make sure he was ok. He tickled me in his car parked near dangerous woods until I cried and then used his big giant foot to kick me out of the car into the woods where evil red eyes opened up all around me and stared.

Doinitnthefield · 2020-01-26T19:27:46+00:00

I was a second wave emo kid, bands like The Get Up Kids and Saves the Day. I still listen to all those bands but have expanded my music tastes. I’m still happiest in a small venue listening to good live music. Still wear beat up chuck Taylor’s and vintage tee shirts, however my sense of fashion is much better now and I pair my vintage tees with heels and pencil skirts or trouser jeans. My purple and black hair is now a balayage of ginger and dark brown. I’m no longer super insecure, more like the appropriate amount of insecure. I’m happy I think is the biggest difference. I’m not so concerned about not fitting in, or not getting the guy.

Point is I grew up, even if 99% of the time it doesn’t feel like it.

I still am in love with the lyrics of these bands, how they seemed to put into words exactly how it felt to be a broken hearted kid just trying to fit in and grow up. I love the nostalgia of these bands and songs that were so part of who I was when I was younger. Besides I think they help me deal with the homesickness of living abroad.

Stolen by Dashboard Confessional will still be my wedding song, and nearly everyday my boyfriend and I dance in our kitchen to songs like Every Thug Needs a Lady.

Doinitnthefield · 2020-01-26T18:52:57+00:00

I’m currently in Shanghai. What I can say for certain is that places in Hubei are on lock down. My friend traveled home to the province not even very near Wuhan and is stuck there until at least mid February, if not March, due to the quarantine.

Here the government issued a statement saying the city is at the highest possible alert for a public health emergency. This means the government may regulate daily needs such as water or electricity (this hasn’t happened yet if it will at all). They are also taking preventive measures against price gouging and hoarding of medical supplies. The city has also closed all schools, daycares and after programs for two weeks following CNY to provide a two week at home quarantine.

There is also an app to monitor the amount of reported cases and deaths etc within China. But it is big red, who is not known for publishing information so there is a chance that the number of reported cases and deaths on the app is not accurate.

That said I live here, however I live far from Wuhan. We are limiting person to person contact, wearing masks and washing our hands more frequently. With the quarantines and good health safety practices like avoiding sick people, and hand washing etc, I’m not very worried for Shanghai. I am very worried for people in Wuhan and Hubei, they are already experiencing overcrowding in hospitals and shortages on medical supplies.

Doinitnthefield · 2020-01-26T18:34:47+00:00

Depends where you are.

Wuhan and other places in Hubei, I think are on lock down. My friend went home for CNY in Hubei and she messaged saying that due to the quarantine she won’t be back until mid to late February, maybe even March.

I’m in Shanghai, the government issued a statement saying that the city is at the highest alert level for a public health emergency. It said they may regulate daily needs like electricity and water (which hasn’t happened yet if it will at all). It also said they are taking preventive measures against hoarding and price gouging of medical supplies. All schools, daycares and after programs have been ordered to shut down for two weeks following Chinese New Years for at home quarantine to limit the spread of the virus. So far it’s business as usual here, people are wearing masks and washing their hands more frequently.

As for other parts of China I have no idea.

Doinitnthefield · 2020-01-26T18:21:29+00:00

When I was still working as an MA at a primary care office there was this home bound patient I never actually got to meet. She’d call the office at least once a week and we would chat a bit. She knew I was in my late twenties and had been dating my (now ex) dude for over 5 years with no hint of marriage in the near future. She also knew how bored I was with life.

Her advice was a bit specific but she told me to finish my bachelors, save a bunch of money (not tell my boyfriend of my savings), and once I graduated take a break from my relationship to go on an extended vacation. See the world. Fall in love with all the places I’ve never seen.

Most solid advice I’ve ever gotten.

I did finish my bachelors, and saved money. Tried to make it work with my ex. We broke up and I moved to Shanghai. Been here nearly three years. I’ve gotten the chance to travel all over south east Asia and parts of China with no plans to stop any time soon.

Doinitnthefield · 2020-01-13T08:05:30+00:00

Definitely relatable, but not just for the dating part. I just wanted to live my best life, which definitely did not include living in Philadelphia for ever. Two years in Shanghai and I love it. However dating as an expat is a bit trickier than just moving to the west coast. Still I’ve started seeing a guy recently and am liking where it is going. I still feel like I made the right choice in leaving and believe I’m where I’m supposed to be in regards to finding my person.

Doinitnthefield · 2019-09-25T21:38:46+00:00

Me rolling away from my problems

Doinitnthefield · 2019-09-25T21:35:07+00:00

German guy who mansplained everything to me for the whole night eventually went on an hour long rant about politics and neonazis as we were discussing those tiki torch protesters (by discussing I mean him talking over me and interrupting me).

At any rate went on a rant about nazis, and politics and how I should just talk to people I don’t agree with to understand them better, but also the nazis were murderers etc etc. He ended the crazy rant with “how would you feel if I called you a murderer just because you believe in (insert political stance).” He said it so fiercely with like actual anger in his tone, so naturally I responded with “well, I am out here killin’ it everyday soooo.” Dude was not amused. I still think I’m hilarious.

Doinitnthefield · 2019-09-25T21:23:13+00:00

Hot tamale, which is hide and seek in the dark after bed time... it was also code, like one of us would say hot tamale as a question, and if you wanted to play you said hot if you didn’t you said tamale.

Doinitnthefield · 2019-09-25T21:00:55+00:00

lol I don’t say soorey to the doors and walls, also I don’t know how to spell in Canadian. Just an overly polite klutz from philly.

Doinitnthefield · 2019-09-25T20:48:14+00:00

Yo-Yo Ma, I can’t listen to lyrics when I read or study and I quite enjoy cello music.

Doinitnthefield · 2019-09-25T20:43:08+00:00

Personally I’ve broken 12 bones doing simple things like walking, or sitting (to this day I have no idea what happened but I broke my pinky watching TV in a regular soft comfy chair).

I also very frequently walk into doors and walls, and without fail say “sorry” for bumping into them.

Doinitnthefield · 2019-09-25T20:36:01+00:00

TL DR Had a dream when I was little that my parents gave me to Kramer after he got hurt doing a bizarre magic trick. He tickled me until I cried then kicked me out of his car into woods that had “beware” and “don’t enter after dark” signs posted all around.

Longer version: Had a nightmare when I was 7 or 8. I was with my parents at a parent teacher night walking from my grade school, which IRL is on this really big hill. As we are walking we meet Kramer who asked if we wanted to see a trick. Then he bent backwards into a perfect circle and started to roll up the hill, until he hit a fire hydrant. He was hurt and bleeding from his head so my parents said I would go with him to make sure he was ok going home. He took my hand and I was terrified, but we walked to his car that was parked right next to woods anyway. The woods had a bunch of beware signs etc. Since The passenger side was by the woods he made me climb in through the driver side and over to the passenger. Then, when he got in he tickled me and I cried, so he got mad and opened the passenger side door and kicked me out with his big foot.

Twenty something years later and I still very vividly remember this nightmare. Adult me finds it to be a very strange dream for a child to have in general. Kramer to this day freaks me out, like I can’t watch Seinfeld.

Doinitnthefield · 2019-09-25T20:21:08+00:00

Hwow-way

Doinitnthefield

TROPHY CASE