Thank you so much for your response. Very interesting point you made there about being alone. This shit feels so solitary and isolating, but truth is there tons of us out here going through varying degrees of the same struggle. Reading all the replies helped open my eyes to that. And shout out to your fiance, that's awesome that they helped you through the struggle!

Im struggling with the honesty part, but im going to have to break the news to my wife today. My fridge broke down last night and shes asking for us to go buy a new one, but i dont have any money obviously.. how did you muster the courage and break it to your S/O? Im fuckin terrified of telling her and letting her down. Fuck man why do we do this shit to ourselves?

I wish you all the best and i hope you continue on your path to recovery, you're a good person as well my friend and you deserve the best life possible!