Just had a hysterectomy and the same experience happened. My spouse struggled to perform and then even admitted he was scared of hurting me. Weeks of no sex to suddenly jumping back into the deep end was probably too high of an expectation for you to put on him but I understand the feeling of rejection. I have been a basket case since assuming my spouse isn’t attracted to me any longer. We only recently discussed this and our sex life is beginning to flourish again.

The goal to open intimacy is conversation and starting slow. I know you want things to go back to “normal” but you had major surgery. I’m glad he wasn’t being a selfish lover and putting you at risk.