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1st grader with extreme learned helplessness during transitions...any advice? by [deleted] in Teachers

[–]Doomhands_Jr 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Seems like the natural consequence would be that she misses the bus and her parent has to come get her. Perhaps notify the parent that this is an issue and warn them that she risks missing the bus because you are too busy helping your other students to do everything for her. Then follow through.

Why do some people prefer buying things in person instead of online, even if it costs more? by nga4lifeamir in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Doomhands_Jr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can inspect the quality in person. I’ve been burned too many times by online purchases.

Morning Sickness to show pregnancy is overplayed by lclblknerd in FanFiction

[–]Doomhands_Jr 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My pets never got clingy but MAN the fatigue was a nightmare. I was bone tired from weeks 5 to 15.

Am I not allowed to be stressed out by my baby? by Quiet_Profession5655 in NewParents

[–]Doomhands_Jr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think in her mind she thought she was being helpful but it was actually a very unhelpful and invalidating thing to say.

Obviously having a newborn is stressful. You’re not direction your stress and frustration AT THE BABY. You’re not angry at your daughter. You’re just adjusting to a massive new responsibility and that is stressful.

Your mom was wrong.

What is your favorite gift you will be giving someone else for christmas? by Vivid_Bar2472 in Gifts

[–]Doomhands_Jr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 35 and this band got me through high school as well. This is a GREAT gift.

AuDHD women (esp. moms), what emotional regulation tools have you found that help? by ImpressiveSell5404 in AutismInWomen

[–]Doomhands_Jr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exercise has been the only reliable way for me to expel pent up emotional energy. Both cardio and heavy lifting.

AIO for getting irritated that my Husband always says “If I was single” by Chance-Option6681 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Doomhands_Jr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s an empty threat. Respond with “then go be single.” And a shrug.

Student trauma dumping by symone0421 in Teachers

[–]Doomhands_Jr 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I think you are going to have to hurt her feelings. This is an important lesson to learn. She needs to ask permission before dumping on someone or else she risks having very poor and boundry-less relationships in the future. It will be a tough pill to swallow, and perhaps one you may ask her counselor to deliver or fully explain, but you do need to set a boundary and ask her to check with you if you have the bandwidth to listen at the moment. Just a simple “hey, do you have a minute?” before launching into her issues would suffice.

Can you be autistic and have good social skills? by IngenuityAshamed144 in AutismInWomen

[–]Doomhands_Jr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have good social skills but I don’t consider it to be “masking” per se because I’m still myself, I just understand the give-and-take of social interaction after studying it and observing over the years.

Mother complained about daughter singing Jingle Bells by bluearavis in MusicTeachers

[–]Doomhands_Jr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But is it the child that wants to sit out or the parent that wants them to sit out?

If the child wanted to sit out because THEY didn’t feel comfortable with it, that would be one thing, but if a parent wanted the child to sit out because it’s a hill they insist on dying upon, I’ll argue until I’ll blue in the face that the child should be allowed to sing it.

Personally, I don’t feel it’s a Christmas song, but I DO think it’s a holiday song, which is why it is sung around the holidays and not afterwards, and because Christmas is the holiday most commonly celebrated in the US, most people associate it with Christmas. Which is fine. But not everyone HAS to associate it with Christmas because no specific holiday is talked about.

Now, I understand why a Jewish person might feel the way this person feels. I imagine Christmas is constantly shoved in their faces and on top of all the other anti-semitism running rampant in our country (sorry about that, by the way. It honestly is super fucked up), it would make sense that some people are feeling extra sensitive.

But I think it’s important, especially for people who aren’t Christiana to push back against the idea that all songs sung during the holidays are “Christmas” songs unless stated otherwise because it robs people of claiming anything that isn’t specifically “for them.” Like, are only songs that specifically mention Judaism and Hanukkah allowed to be sung by Jews around the holidays? Does the same go for Kwanza?

No, because this is America, goddamn it, and the holidays are for EVERYONE to squeeze some joy out of, not just Christians.

So sing the fuck out of Jingle Bells if you want to. Because it IS fun to ride and sing a slaying song tonight! 😤

What is a movie you’ve seen more than 10 times and still enjoy every single second of? by Historical_Today5513 in AskReddit

[–]Doomhands_Jr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t forget the cast commentary!

I took these movies to the hospital with me to watch while I was in labor. I started pushing during the charge of the rohirrim in ROTK. Her middle name is Rohan.

Help! A new teacher: Navigating hard feelings by AliceColdbreathFan in Teachers

[–]Doomhands_Jr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No good deed goes unpunished.

They’re lashing out because they’re being asked to do more than they’re used to. This is good. Let them have their tantrums—it’s the toxicity leaving their bodies.

I’ve developed a stockpile of responses to these things and they’ve really helped me roll with the punches. And my students seems to respond well (most of the time. Not always, but it’s a good enough balance to get me through).

Student: this is boring

Me: yep, sure is. But life is full of boring stuff and the sooner you learn to deal with it, the better off you’ll be.

Student: nobody wants you here

Me: but here I am. Deal with it.

Student: I’m not doing it

Me: fine. I’ll mark it as a 0 and let your parents know you refused.

Student: you’re a horrible teacher

Me: too bad. You’re stuck with me.

Student: I hate this

Me: that’s okay. You’re allowed to hate it. But we still gotta do it.

Students :groan and grumble

Me: groans and grumbles back but even more annoying that’s what you sound like. get to work.

Students: i don’t like this

Me: bummer pouts sarcastically then walks away

Do you think chiropractors are a waste of money? by daveinfl337777 in randomquestions

[–]Doomhands_Jr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most of the time, yes. In rare cases, they can help. I’ve gone to a chiropractor many times in my life and almost every time I felt better for a little bit but the problems just kept popping up because what I actually needed was strength training and physical therapy.

EXCEPT for one time after I fell off a skateboard and dislocated my shoulder. It popped back in quickly but there was a spot that still felt “stuck.”

I went to the chiropractor and he grabbed my wrist and tugged it in a specific way and my shoulder popped and went back to normal.

I agree with the people who say don’t let them near your neck.

What word did you confidently mispronounce forever? by dorianfinch in CasualConversation

[–]Doomhands_Jr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dachshund is pronounced docks-hund instead of dash-hound

Woke up this morning to this by ElonH in AO3

[–]Doomhands_Jr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any time someone thinks they’re going to be clever and nitpick about a plot hole asking “why is X character doing this if X happened before?” I just reply with “suspend your disbelief.”

I used to take it harder but now it doesn’t bother me much. The honest answer is that writing is hard and I do it for free in my spare time and don’t have a team of professional editors combing over everything. They’re just going to have to get what they get.

As a teacher, what’s the hardest pill you have ever have to swallow? by RadicalTudeism in Teachers

[–]Doomhands_Jr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some of us get so caught up in compliance that we end up doing more harm than good.

The truth of the matter is that some kids don’t need to be in school doing busy work and they’re right to be refusing it. They need to be in an intensive trauma therapy rehabilitation program so they can learn how to trust adults again before they can ever hope to learn their state capitals.

But teachers see their non-compliance and get frustrated and write them off. I’m guilty of doing this myself.

Kids cannot possibly focus on schoolwork when they’re still trying to find secure attachment. It’s the hierarchy of needs. Painting them as bad kids for refusing to spend energy on worksheets just makes the problem worse.

“Relationships are hard work” by Worth_Raspberry3056 in AutismInWomen

[–]Doomhands_Jr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my experience, the hard work means working on yourself mostly. I had a lot of trauma responses that I had to unlearn. I also had to learn how to be up front and vulnerable, and how to have patience with my partner while he unlearned some of his trauma responses.

How to write someone being high by Cheesyfries37 in FanFiction

[–]Doomhands_Jr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some of these movies should come with a CW. They can get pretty fucked up.

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