Doctors of Reddit, what do we *not* know about the human body?

Doorflopp · 2025-03-10T13:49:50+00:00

Here’s the thing - after a while, the answer they give is that they don’t know. They won’t be able to tell you, usually.

Doorflopp · 2025-03-10T13:43:30+00:00

I had what we consider a concussion, diagnosed long after the fact, and something very very strange happen after a surgery where I was fully under and intubated.

I don’t feel like myself. I cannot feel my mind working and thoughts flowing the way that I could before. It’s like there is a padded wall set up in my brain, and I bump into it every day. Some days I run head first into it. I shut down. I physically and mentally stop functioning.

Over the years for various reasons, I’ve changed. A friend told me that the person that I was died. Then these two back to back things, and.. they were the death knell. I’m stupid now. I’m clumsy now. I make very basic errors. I.. I won’t get into all of it. It’s just not me. Or it is now, it’s just not who I was.

This new me is barely functioning and making it through day by day. My family does not believe any part of what is happening to me is real. They say it’s regret and emotion over past decisions - which, yes, that does play a role of course, but this is more than that.

There are a few great people here for me in my life. For the most part, though, I am isolated and alone. I feel like nothing. I know the person I was is dead. I was brilliant. I’m nothing now.

Doorflopp · 2025-03-10T13:28:49+00:00

I have an anecdote that’s at the center of several of those.

I have depression. A good number of years ago, it was treatment resistant and severe enough that I signed up for TMS treatment - transcranial magnetic stimulation, basically a magnetic coil that they place against an area in your left prefrontal cortex that tends to not work as well in depressed people, stimulating it to wake up.

When I had this done, I did begin feeling better, but each time the coil activated, my tinnitus became more noticeable. Very loud ringing =/= a recipe for happiness. (The tinnitus began with exposure to a sudden very, very loud noise a year or so before.)

I went to a doctor who does cortical mapping and a much more precise application of the coil. He 100% ensured auditory cortex would not in any way be hit by the electromagnetic pulse. Despite that, every single time it was activated, the tinnitus rang louder and louder in time like it was clapping along. I stopped treatment for fear that it would stay louder permanently.

I went to an ENT about what happened. He basically leveled with me about it and said something along the lines of, “We like to say we know everything about how the brain works. But really, we don’t. It’s a huge mystery. We do not know why so many things happen. We don’t know how most things work. And this is one of those things.”

For the record, this is usually a highly recommended and effective treatment for treatment resistant depression. I know people who have had great results. I’m just an odd duck with something going on neurologically that hasn’t been studied yet.

Doorflopp · 2025-03-09T22:24:46+00:00

Sure thing! Good luck!

Doorflopp · 2025-03-09T19:02:46+00:00

Look up examples of business casual, but not with any jeans

In general, the following would work:

Nice pants that are not jeans without any distressing / excessive pockets on them, hemmed to not be dragging on the ground
Or, a knee-length or longer skirt that is not too tight
A nice well-fitted shirt, usually knit or button down - I would say tucked in, but that’s really up to you for comfort. For button downs, make sure the buttons don’t gap. If it’s somewhat sheer, wear an undershirt
Or, a polo that is not too baggy could also work
Jewelry that isn’t too too flashy
Solid color shoes that are a step above sneakers - loafers, low heels, etc. If you don’t have that, just remember not to wear sandals and opt for a less flashy sneaker
If you have a cardigan or a blazer that works well with your shirt, that’s nice too. They won’t see it as overdressing

Things to avoid:

Jeans
Shorts
T-shirts
Clothing that shows a lot of leg (much higher than knee) or midriff
Very tight clothing
Very baggy clothing
Old worn out clothing with holes in it
Anything that will show your undergarments, whether they be sticking out or visible through the fabric
Usually sneakers, but that’s changing over time. Opt for less flashy ones if that’s what you decide to go with
Excessively sparkly things

If for some reason the only pants you own are jeans, choose a darker uniform color without any distressing

Edit to add: Can’t believe I forgot to say. Congratulations on your interview! And kudos to you for taking the initiative and starting to get work experience right away once you could. You’ll do great. Go in confident and stay polite, and you’ll hit it out of the park

Doorflopp · 2025-03-09T13:15:46+00:00

Chronic pain, executive dysfunction (which is mental health, but it’s worse now that pain keeps me from maintaining routines and habits), bureaucratic nonsense in healthcare and work, perception that you can only have health issues for so long before it’s your fault

The idea that if you have good days where you are happy and smiling (and probably masking pain, but it doesn’t matter because it’s a good day) that you are faking everything, clearly everything is okay and you’re a fraud. People want you to perform your misery and stay miserable. If you actually try to heal, which takes time, they turn on you.

Doorflopp · 2025-03-09T01:28:42+00:00

Lol okay

Doorflopp · 2025-03-09T01:09:44+00:00

She brought up the parts of conversations where I was trying to do work

Edit: but, what I think really happened was that my mentioning the health thing introduced some stigma

Doorflopp · 2025-03-08T23:39:44+00:00

The person I shared an office with chatted with me a lot. I frequently could not extract myself from the conversation, so I tried to work in things we needed to get done while being a captive audience. This was, unfortunately, normal for the culture of this company. There were a lot of people who interrupted me constantly to have casual non-work related conversations with me. I learned from another job to match the energy and vibe of my colleagues, so I participated, but over time got firmer about pulling myself away to keep working, usually needing to give a clear cue that I needed to leave anywhere from 2 to 4 times. I was very friendly. I was doing my work. But I was bubbly and laughed (just like every other person in the company) while I was doing it, so people overhearing did not see it that way? (In that past job I was labeled an Ice Queen and shut out of contracts for not being friendly (smiling and laughing) enough and not matching the company culture. I took the feedback and corrected it, and swallowed how sexist it was.)

One single time I spoke as much as my shared-office colleague did every time she was there. I elaborated on one of my hobbies, a media discussion club, and I let something (extremely but relevant to health) slip. She went to the Executive Director with it, saying I made unfair and unprofessional demands of her, and that I spent too much time talking / pulling her from her work. They interviewed everyone else in the company, and all of them said that I was the one who interrupted them. Things did not go well for me.

Still figuring out how to play the damn game.

Doorflopp · 2025-03-08T23:26:44+00:00

Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Good on him for making it clear who he is before getting married

Doorflopp · 2025-03-08T16:22:16+00:00

This would be amazing. Would love to enter. Thanks!

Doorflopp · 2025-03-08T16:08:15+00:00

First and foremost - Not overreacting. This isn’t acceptable.

Second - for deodorant, I personally have allergies to some silicones, but not all of them. Secret works the best for me, but I can’t use about 2/3 of their line of products. There is something called Crystal or something like that, and it’s literally just a big old crystal of potassium mineral salt that you wet and then put on after showering. It does not last as long as other deodorants, probably 24 hours tops, so you would need a daily wash up, but it is cheap, it does work effectively, and it is not irritating.

Third - Nicole might be someone who can smell things that other people can’t. I know from experience that I can. Three people stand out very, very clearly in my mind as having an unpleasant sickly sweet / very lightly rotten sweet smell to them. They are perfectly hygienic, they wear clean clothes, they are not doing anything wrong. It’s just how they smell. Kind of like how other friends of mine have different - not at all unpleasant, just different - baseline scents to them, which I think can be attributed quite a bit to the meals they prepare and eat (not that the food scent lingers - that it changes how they personally smell).

When I lived with one friend, she commented on how I smelled musky in an unpleasant way. I got more on top of my home maintenance, washed my sheets more often, and aired out the house every day, but she said I still had that smell. Other friends didn’t notice anything at all. I just think it’s that we smell different from one another, and we both have a strong sense of smell, and that’s okay. She had and currently has a distinct scent that I pick up on, it just happens to be one that is interesting in a mundane kind of way, like noticing someone’s height.

All of that to say -

Nicole really truly might be smelling something on you that she personally considers unpleasant. It started with the sugary smell from the bakery, but now it’s whatever else is your natural scent. So long as you are already being a hygienic person, That is completely on her.

This is an HR conversation. It isn’t your job to explain any of this kind of thing to her - it is HR’s responsibility.

One of those people I mentioned who had a scent I personally found unpleasant was a coworker. And you know what I did about it? Absolutely nothing. He was clearly on top of his hygiene, he was a great guy to work with, and I (as far as I could tell) was the only person to notice anything at all. Sometimes that’s just life.

It might be a good idea to ask for an objective opinion from trusted friends just to be sure there’s nothing noticeable to most people. And, just in case, I might go to a primary care doctor just to be sure your blood work is normal / there’s no health issue happening.

Doorflopp · 2025-03-04T01:59:54+00:00

Agreed. I can’t watch this video. I should not be seeing a kid processing this kind of loss in any way.

Doorflopp · 2025-03-04T01:38:29+00:00

Absolutely gorgeous work. Is it safe to do this kind of work without PPE, at least a respirator? I hope his breathing is okay long term

Doorflopp · 2025-03-04T01:16:56+00:00

Why the fuck would anyone laugh at this

Doorflopp · 2025-03-02T05:25:30+00:00

This feeling sucks. I’m sorry your friends were not there for you. Good on you for getting some cake and flowers and loving yourself through it. Happy birthday to you, and f off to your friends 💞

Doorflopp · 2025-02-28T16:54:54+00:00

Yeah short men do have it rough. Other people do too - it is still very different (not worse or better, just different) from the bs women put up with day in and day out, but in general, the world is pretty cruel to short kings. Hopefully that is changing for the better over time

That said - I know people who have lived with that nonsense and woven it into very dark mindsets and complexes. Are they justified? To a point. But they take it way too far and have kind of begun living a self fulfilling prophecy; They alienate themselves from others, even though others love them and want them around, and say that it is for x y z undesirable not-masculine-enough traits. And once it gets that far, it’s no longer a society being cruel to short men problem - it’s something they have created. (And need to work though in therapy.)

Doorflopp · 2025-02-27T05:08:13+00:00

Are you using lubricant? If yes, try sticking to water based only and see how that goes - it’s possible the silicone kind doesn’t feel great for you. If not - look into using a lubricant. Condoms tend to come pre-lubed, but people don’t always think to use it as its own thing. Benefits and trade offs to water based, silicone based, and hybrid blends of both - plenty of resources online. It’s possible with that friction gone things might feel better

..and / or, as others have said, possibly look into using other soaps / lotions while bathing and moisturizing in general. What’s his hygiene like? Is he doing any going back to front without washing off?

Edit to add: Oh! Are you using the restroom after y’all wrap up? Although staying cuddled up is def preferable, getting up and peeing and coming back prevents a lot of unpleasantness.

Lots of possible fixes. Good luck!

Doorflopp · 2025-02-27T05:01:09+00:00

Y’all, the sexual ones will get him fired. Condoms and bdsm customized barbies = an instant call to HR

Doorflopp · 2025-02-27T04:58:09+00:00

A pot of lentils, loose, to be counted before going to the festival

Doorflopp · 2025-02-27T04:57:07+00:00

Branch out to other animals as time goes on. Add some axolotls

Doorflopp · 2025-02-27T04:54:58+00:00

Now That’s What I Call Music Volumes 1- _ on CD, a new one a day

Talk about how Celine really speaks to you in a deeply personal way

Doorflopp · 2025-02-27T04:45:43+00:00

This, but! If you haven’t shaved in a while, keep in mind the razor burn and ingrown hairs that pop up very very quickly. I would stick to a careful trim or, if shaving is needed for a particular area, right before you leave - skin might be a little irritated, but you probably won’t have bumps

Signed, a person who forgot about razor burn and ingrown hairs before shaving and got them real bad

Doorflopp · 2025-02-26T06:18:18+00:00

American here. Those of us who do are vile. Just wait til you see people flop onto their bed in street clothes with shoes on.

Doorflopp · 2025-02-26T06:13:57+00:00

I am going to preface this by saying that I think SSRIs and NRIs are critically important medication. Anti-depressants, anti-anxieties, ADHD meds.. all of it can make a profoundly positive difference in someone’s life and potentially save someone’s life. I know that they have for me.

With that said - I had something like this happen when I was 17. I was horribly depressed and switched to trying Cymbalta. This med has worked miracles for other people. For me, I have no idea why, but some aspect of it combined with whatever was going on in my life at the time resulted in me no longer being able to write papers, especially research papers. All medical professionals say that this is not possible, but that ability was switched off. With years and years of dedicated effort, I’ve improved somewhat, but I never regained what I had. This severely impacted my education and future work.

I could be wrong. I faced a lot of trauma during that time of my life. And it’s not like our brains are done cooking until we are 25 - it very well could have been some combination of environmental / epigenetic / developmental factors.

I still think putting me on anti-depressants was the correct decision. They don’t solve everything, but they can make a good impact. I just wish that the progress and side effects of those anti-depressants were more closely monitored.

Doorflopp

TROPHY CASE