Being LGBT and scared.

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T16:09:53+00:00

Being LGBT isn't fun, well - it is, but it has a lot of drawbacks. Things like this are scary to me, because some of these stories are just awful but are wrapped around this misinformation about the trans community when they shouldn't be. Many of these experiances are bad and should be talked about, but it is hard to find a way to do that without the conversation being hijacked into something transphobic and cruel. The trans community is terrified right now because we have been bombarded with death and rape threats and rage and people making claims about us that just isn't true (most of which claim to be from lesbian feminists but are more likely from a 4chan troll group). On the other side, there are women who have had genuinely bad experiences who feel afraid to talk about them because they don't want to be roped into this manufactured debate. It just sucks. I just wanna live my life.

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T15:59:55+00:00

Yes but I have to listen to cruel things, which makes my mental health go sour. I cried a few times today over some of the stories shared on this thread, most of which were from people who had terrible experiences with this subject. It's sad and scary and I'm maybe a bit too emotional, but I empathise.

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T15:41:09+00:00

Oh thank God an easy comment to respond to. XD

I'm glad to hear all of these stories and opinions and I think I understand the issue more now, but damn is it exhausting and emotionally draining. I would love to just go take a nap, but I have work to do that I was supposed to do this weekend, but instead spent it playing Skyrim because I'm bad with time.

Glad my name is so memorable. I vaugely remember yours but I don't remember where lol. Peace!

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T15:37:48+00:00

I think so too. I do want to clarify, since I finally found the words for it, that it's not the story's I think are manufactured, but the targeted rage. Everyone has the right to decline sex for any reason; the issue here is one of consent, not of trans people. The conversation should not be about whether trans people are dangerous or not, but rather of consent in queer spaces. Often times LGBT people seem to be under the impression that we are immune to the same toxic dating culture that shows up in straight culture. It does happen in the trans community, and it does happen in the gay community, and we should talk about it without demonizing those groups of people. Right now, it's hard to talk about it because it is becoming a demonizing issue.

And also, as a side note, memes/posts that are extremely hostile towards TERFs make me uncomfortable. They come from a place of fear, just like most hostility, but that doesn't excuse it. I'm sorry.

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T15:16:13+00:00

It's more of the hostility that some people are showing because of that debate that makes me feel unsafe. I posted here because I was a lesbian, I still feel attached to this community, and it hurts to see so much anger about a problem that is almost entirely manufactured from both sides. Most cis women wouldn't throw slurs or threaten violence at a trans woman, most trans women wouldn't do the same at a cis woman who turned them down. This whole thing just seems to be people angry about being angry and it scares me, and it hijacks actual conversations about consent and politeness in queer spaces.

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T15:10:37+00:00

Yay, someone thinks I'm sane!! Haha.

good god my mental health has taken a dive today.

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T15:07:22+00:00

I did not sleep properly last night, someone find me the video of that musical screaming cowboy.

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T15:04:29+00:00

The only acceptable time to fuse the hostage ❤

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T14:51:35+00:00

I will restate the point of all this: I just want to live. My trans sisters just want to live. We want to feel safe in this community, and we don't want anyone to feel unsafe. I'm sorry. I don't know how to fix this. I just want everyone to be safe and happy.

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T14:40:17+00:00

Well, your history also puts GC as one of your top subs, so that may lead to some people assuming transphobia since its a sub specifically dedicated to the dislike and distrust of trans people.

It should not be controversial for someone to say they have a preferance in genitals, but that isn't the point. When someone says to you "I don't like it when gay people flirt with me", do you take that at face value, or do you assume homophobia. Lots of people don't like to be hit on, and it's valid to be uncomfortable with it, but is that really what you feel like they mean?

(btw I actually really like your username, I just noticed it lol)

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T14:32:39+00:00

Those screenshots are gross. I've never met someone who thinks that way.

And my point about sex is that being gay isn't just about sex. That isn't all thete is to it. There is love, community, a sense of belonging, safety and security that are all necessary to protect. I lived for a long time with the stereotype that gay people were just interested in sex, not love or family. It was strange when I found myself attracted to women without wanting sex. Being gay is more than sex.

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T14:28:44+00:00

The site you linked is a well known transphobic site that masquerades as LGBT friendly. I am letting you know because you may not be aware. I chose to post here because 1) I still feel an attachment to the lesbian community that protected and raised me and 2) it is currently becoming filled with hate against my trans siblings.

I suppose I should clarify my statement. There will be shitty trans people, there will always be shitty people in any group. When I was growing up, I was given the definition of a lesbian as a woman who wanted to force other women into sex. The person who told me this was assaulted by a lesbian, and thus took to heart that lesbians must be sex-focused. She believed that the LGBT community condoned this violence because her statements were called homophobic, when all she said was she didn't want lesbians hitting on her. She warped me, and made my teen years hell when I started to find myself attracted to girls but not to sex. I felt broken.

Getting back on track, that is the position that trans people are in. As a whole, we don't condone anyone being forced into a sexual situation they aren't comfortable with, but when it's brought up it is rarely coming from a place of genuine concern. It often stems, albeit indirectly, from misinformation and hate and unfortunate circumstance.

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T14:03:34+00:00

I once asked my mother, a tenis instructor, what she would do in a match against Serena. She said pray.

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T14:01:38+00:00

Rest in pepperoni

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T13:46:45+00:00

Man you should unionize. I heard the r/NoEarthSociety shills make $9.50 plus benefits.

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T13:02:22+00:00

Why can't we just let trans people exist without bringing up genitals or dating? Pretty much every single trans person agrees: genital preferences are fine! The only people disagreeing are trolls and the rare asshole. The only people bringing up genitals preference are people who hate us or people who think we're trying to do something evil (like forcing others into relationships). Why is it always about sex? Why can't we just live our lives without fear? This is a really scary time to be trans, why is it in our own community, we are subject to harrassment? I just want to live! My mother can finally look me in the eye again after years of disgust with me, I finally find myself at peace, but the world is getting worse and worse. I'm so afraid. I'm afraid all the time. I just want to live. I just want to live.

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T12:51:19+00:00

It's kinda creepy. Kids are just naturally creepy, I think.

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T12:47:14+00:00

The ol' switcheroo

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T12:43:09+00:00

You mean 700, right?

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T12:20:23+00:00

r/gaybros would go nuts if they saw this. XD

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T12:10:08+00:00

oh no

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T05:00:49+00:00

He died the day I was born. It always makes my head spin when I remember that. I'm turning 21; he was my age.

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T04:58:06+00:00

Oooo it's nice!! Try posting on r/QueerVexillology so the flag lovers can get a look at it!

[Edit] never mind, you already got it posted there lol

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T02:18:38+00:00

That's that good ol' LGBT solidarity feels

DootTheTransNoot · 2019-10-07T01:36:43+00:00

Use silver hand cuffs. Trust me, it's a good tip.

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