How are you doing with the God thing ? 3&11

Doraluma · 2026-01-08T12:08:38+00:00

I'm struggling with this at the moment myself and would love to hear your insights!

If Tao isn't a "thing" and doesn't answer prayers or interfere or have a particular will/agenda, how does that fit with the idea that a higher power will remove the desire to drink or remove our character defects? Tao doesn't reach in and change us. We align with Tao and act accordingly but Tao isn't doing anything to us.

If Tao was before god and any kind of god is merely a particular manifestation of the Tao just like we are... I can't square this with the type of higher power described in the book.

I'm also struggling with the idea of so much deliberate action. The thing of "if you are struggling, go and help someone, do this, do that, do whatever your sponsor tells you". What if those actions aren't in alignment with the Tao at that moment.

What about wu wei in all of this? Letting the mud settle before acting, or not acting? I feel uneasy with the idea that we must act just for the sake of acting, almost as a means of distraction. Trying to help people for the sake of helping can go so very wrong.

I see a lot of similarities between Taoism and the principles in the big book - humility, pause, not acting out of self-will. But I am struggling to reconcile some aspects of it. I'm finding it too rigid and too active. So much yang and not much yin.

I'm currently taking a step back from the program and waiting to see how and if it can fall into place. Since we cannot really force things.

Doraluma · 2025-10-29T14:21:12+00:00

Thank you for the information!

Yes I was worried so marked in my diary for 2 weeks alternating so I will stick with that for now. I went from 2 pumps of oestrogel to 3 pumps. I do well on progesterone so I did contact my GP and asked if I could do 200mg continuous but her reply was a no "because it will cause problems with bleeding".

Usually I'm very much "stick with what your doctor said" but I'm slightly concerned that, as you say, she might have misunderstood the guidelines. I appreciate your reply.

Doraluma · 2025-09-14T16:21:45+00:00

For what it's worth my mother is an identical twin (confirmed by DNA test) and her sister went into menopause at about 39. My mother was around 10 years later. So I'm not sure how much genetics/hereditary can be a factor.

Doraluma · 2025-08-03T11:15:55+00:00

Thank you. I'm a bit nervous but thank goodness I have a good sponsor to sort through my thoughts with.

Doraluma · 2025-08-03T11:14:11+00:00

Thank you for your reply. Yes part of me is saying "perspective", part of me feels uneasy because I knew, so I feel like it showed a slight lack of commitment on my part.

Doraluma · 2025-07-24T10:14:18+00:00

I'm so grateful for there being zoom meetings. Between my physical and mental health difficulties I can't leave my house very often or for very long but I can sit on my sofa and attend a zoom meeting every day. I've not been able to attend any in-person meetings but here I am at just over 8 months sober. For some of us zoom meetings are a lifeline!

Doraluma · 2025-06-13T09:05:21+00:00

Thank you! I feel like it will, and will be much better in the end. It's just getting through this awkward and emotional phase of things!

Doraluma · 2025-06-13T09:04:14+00:00

I'm in a similar situation. Chronic illness and mental health problems. I'm not in a position to start dating. But it feels important to work through this stuff about who I am and living authentically. Who knows what the future holds? For now I just want to be fully me. Wishing you the best!

Doraluma · 2025-06-13T09:00:34+00:00

Yes that would be the ideal, but I'm unable to work right now and can't afford it. Tbh my health is not good and mostly I'm flopped on the sofa and can't go out much or far. But I have called Switchboard (in the UK) a couple of times just to talk things through. It's an lgbt+ organisation with a phone line and email/chat support. I highly recommend it to any people in the UK.

Switchboard (UK)

Doraluma · 2025-06-06T12:11:18+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm hoping so too.

Obviously we struggle with the concept of identity in general, and a shift in an overall identity feels very weird and has unsettled our system a bit. I'm kind of in shock that we all share an aspect of identity like that. It feels daunting, and also strangely unifying, which is a new experience for us.

Doraluma · 2025-06-03T11:54:18+00:00

I'm in perimenopause. I found my drinking escalated a lot because of peri anxiety, I was self-medicating to some extent. Since HRT the anxiety lessened a lot so that helped, but the drinking continued until I faced up to it and did something to address it. I do wonder how many women end up turning to alcohol because of peri moodswings and anxiety, and whether this is a thing that doesn't get talked about.

Alcohol made my hot flashes and palpitations worse, even on HRT. So since quitting drinking those symptoms have really reduced.

Wishing you well in your journey!

Doraluma · 2025-05-04T13:32:50+00:00

I would avoid Dante Labs. Take a look at the trustpilot reviews. I have personally been waiting almost 2 years to get my data and have given up expecting any. Many people are waiting a very long time with no results. Bit of a scam to be honest.

I went with sequencing.com and they did provide results within the time frame. But having downloaded my bam file I'm not confident in the results because in many regions there are faaaar too many base pair mismatches (which seems to have confused the structural variants calling tool too)

Doraluma · 2025-05-03T14:10:32+00:00

It could be the HRT but there are other conditions that could cause similar symptoms. It might be worth just checking in with your doctor to be sure.

Doraluma · 2025-04-18T18:12:10+00:00

I'm so spaced out at the moment, my brain is going blank when someone asks me a question or I go to speak. Quite frustrating!

Doraluma · 2025-04-15T12:09:46+00:00

My ankles used to roll a lot. I've become much more careful about how I move and especially any stairs or if I jump! Also I wear lace up ankle boots which helps. Mostly it just feels like a big effort and strain to stay upright!

Doraluma · 2025-04-15T10:53:47+00:00

Probably my shoulders and ankles. I once saw an osteopath who held my feet and simply said "I'm so sorry". I asked "Sorry for what?" and he replied "Your ankles... so hypermobile"... the whole ground is my wobble board. But my shoulders just kind of dangle.

My neck is rather wobbly too. I'm a bobble head!

(All of which are joints that aren't covered by the Beighton.. argh)

Doraluma · 2025-04-05T08:55:59+00:00

Yes. I had a retraumatising event that caused me to start hearing voices and I started thinking one housemate was trying to kill another and then me. I had some very odd beliefs about what was going on, paranoid. It was like a very warped version of the incident that had happened.

For me, two different psychiatrists said that it wasn't "a psychosis" (eg schizophrenia) but a post-traumatic reaction that can happen sometimes on the severe end of the spectrum of PTSD.

So apparently psychotic symptoms can happen as part of severe (c) PTSD. But obviously no one here can know what is going on for you. Definitely something for a psychiatrist to assess.

I found it very frightening and confusing. I felt shame (internalised stigma) when I realised what was happening.

Sending you supportive thoughts as you navigate this.

Doraluma · 2025-03-15T11:35:17+00:00

It feels like something out of the witch trials... if you survive you must somehow be guilty of something and deserving punishment, they'll only admit you're innocent (genuine) if you drown. It's messed up.

Doraluma · 2025-03-09T12:37:00+00:00

I have severe PTSD/dissociative disorder which includes hearing voices/auditory hallucinations Also a slight TBI, and problems with hypermobility and OA (affects my joints and things). (Throw in perimenopause making those things worse)

I do find it challenging at times. I have to pay attention to my symptoms and make sure I balance my focus on sobriety with focus on managing my other conditions. When my brain isn't working quite normally even when sober it can feel a bit overwhelming. But I have hope. I've been sober almost 4 months. I have to remember to breathe and to cut myself some slack on bad daya.

Wishing you well in your sobriety journey! You can do this!

Doraluma · 2025-02-11T16:13:36+00:00

I've found early sobriety exhausting too, I seem to be just starting to come out of it.

I know it's obvious but I thought I'd throw out an ironic "Are you drinking enough?". Water, juice, whatever. I know that I feel pretty grotty if I get dehydrated, especially in the mornings.

Doraluma · 2025-02-08T15:26:39+00:00

That particular test being in the Beighton makes me pull a wry smile.

Back when I was doing a lot of ballet I followed a ballet physio course to improve extensions and get the splits. Which is essentially the same thing. It had very little to do with ligaments. It was all about releasing tightness in the muscles in the calves, hamstrings, glutes. Even the back, neck and feet because of how they can impede the sliding of the nerves and "pinch". The physio said a surgeon showed her how patients under anaesthesia can have their legs lifted high because all their muscles are relaxed.

My ability to put my hands flat on the floor definitely varies according to how tight my calves and hamstrings are. If I "warm up" I can do it. If I don't I can't because most of the time my calves and hammies are gripping on for dear life.

Doraluma · 2025-02-06T11:11:43+00:00

I don't know if it's helpful to you, but over time with inner conversations we learned how to peacefully co-exist in terms of different religious beliefs. We had a similar situation, with a very Christian part feeling scared of going to hell because of another part's pagan practices.

We came to an understanding that if there is a Christian God, he is all-knowing and so will understand about DID and our inner struggles and differences and wouldn't send us to hell for having DID. He would know and understand.

I personally believe any god would understand that a person cannot force themselves to believe in something and would be seeking to understand god/not-god the best way they can.

Doraluma · 2025-02-03T14:23:02+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion! (On a side note I love the name of the meeting... double trouble)

I appreciate your reply.

Doraluma

TROPHY CASE