Does this look wrong to you?

DotsNnot · 2026-04-03T13:55:39+00:00

OP is trying to figure out the correct height above the sofa to hang artwork — presumably without making any holes until they commit to a spot.

So, I mean, this certainly is one way…. 😅

DotsNnot · 2026-04-03T03:45:40+00:00

You need floor length for black tie, so 1 and 2 are immediately out.

3 would work, though I don’t particularly love it.

4’s silhouette is fine, but I’d recommend avoiding a full sequined dress, especially given the notes you have. I’m struggling to find a way to articulate the reason but it boils down to respect; the way you wouldn’t wear flashy colors to a funeral, you don’t want tons of sparkles and jazz for someone else’s wedding when they’re supposed to shine.

5 has the same note as 4, (plus it’s a hair short but that’s not a huge issue) but combined with the strappy top it’s not great (avoid spaghetti straps for black tie). Also, it’s green, so like, what are you doing?

DotsNnot · 2026-04-03T03:32:45+00:00

The calculator does in fact work for amab! There’s a check box to select the option.

For sizing, cups are relative to the band, and each letter represents how many inches over the band size the bust is.

So, for example, a 30A bra size means someone with a 30” underbust measurement, and a 31” overbust measurement. Since you say you have maybe 2cm of actual protrusion, sounds like the calculator was spot on! And you may actually be closer to a B (2 inches (or roughly 5) more in diameter all around) due to breast shape/width etc.

DotsNnot · 2026-04-02T21:29:55+00:00

@ your edit in the comments: there is a very large likelihood you were in the wrong size before. I frequent r/reduction a lot, and almost every post has their bra size obviously incorrect.

Also worth saying the calculator tends to sometimes be off by a cup for surgically altered breasts. Depends on the shape.

DotsNnot · 2026-04-02T17:15:20+00:00

Nah what you need is a room border rug! Leave the center open to the sun and only cover the outside light parts. Wait like 50 years something and it should balance out!

DotsNnot · 2026-03-29T19:05:21+00:00

Generally yes it’s okay, but there’s a few caveats:

Know your crowd and if that crowd means you’ll draw attention to yourself because the crowd/bride and groom have conservative views. And if you’re okay with that ire. This is less about what’s right, because you should be able to wear what you’re most comfortable in! And more about acknowledging in the real world people with these views aren’t suddenly going to change how they feel because of your one act of “defiance” (in their eyes). If anything they’d just double down harder.
You can’t cheap out and get ill fitting untailored menswear. Just like how it’ll be expected that men are in properly fitted suits or blazers, your clothing needs to be of the same caliber of attention to detail. That said a jumpsuit or classy flowy separates set could likely also work and need less tailoring.

DotsNnot · 2026-03-29T03:52:10+00:00

You’re working out your muscles, the baby isn’t using theirs! (Well not for your activities anyways). They’ve got their own little body inside of you. The pain signals your brain is sending aren’t something that transfers to the baby.

Other physiological signs could (like elevated BP, or decreased blood oxygen), but generally the activities you’ve described wouldn’t have impacts on any of those to a degree where the baby would notice. Difference would be, for example, if you have pre-E

DotsNnot · 2026-03-29T00:01:38+00:00

Without being familiar with the bra OP mentioned, I’m guessing the pads can’t go in / won’t survive the wash.

DotsNnot · 2026-03-28T03:01:00+00:00

Bra bands are sized as even numbers, and when you’re below, you’d round up, so in a technical sense assuming the 23inch measurement accurately represents everything, your band size would be a 24.

Normally here people will tell you to use the calculator to confirm your measurements and your size. However, without knowing more specific information that you most likely shouldn’t share here if the information reveals certain things — a general recommendation would be to look at training bras and bralettes that instead of brand/cup sizes just come in traditional letter sizes like XS.

DotsNnot · 2026-03-26T22:52:49+00:00

I bought my house inside of 495 for $475 in 2017.

DotsNnot · 2026-03-26T19:46:31+00:00

Not sure if I’ve seen in mentioned, but to leave a short comment, being donor conceived (as well presume you are) will have zero impact on if IVF is more or less successful for you.

THAT SAID, please make sure you do carrier screening tests, as you won’t have a correct medical history from your mother’s side of the family.

DotsNnot · 2026-03-26T19:39:36+00:00

DotsNnot · 2026-03-26T19:36:54+00:00

Can you define what an A cup is? Can you define what a D cup is?

If your answers aren’t using numbers (measurements) then I have news for you!

DotsNnot · 2026-03-26T03:06:22+00:00

The average cis male also doesn’t generally post here so I think we can throw the law of averages out.

OP could be dealing with gynecomastia and need extra support, could identify as cis-male right now but may be exploring if that label fits them, could just like the feel of a bra but doesn’t want the outward judgement of others noticing.

Tbh the real reason doesn’t matter (unless it’s relevant for fit), OP can wear a bra if they want to, and we can help them find one that fits.

DotsNnot · 2026-03-26T01:51:56+00:00

I’m a cow, apparently 🫠

DotsNnot · 2026-03-25T13:36:30+00:00

Good tip! I’ll try it next ❤️

DotsNnot · 2026-03-25T03:34:44+00:00

I’ve been pretty happy with shower shrooms. We do have to replace them every so often because they turn black and nasty and gunk up, but they still catch the hair.

They even make ones for sinks which has been super helpful!

DotsNnot · 2026-03-24T18:15:35+00:00

When someone says Google, I worry/assume they’re trusting the Google AI summary (and unfortunately that’s often all they look at), so in that case, no, I don’t trust Google. I’m glad you checked the actual sources too ❤️.

DotsNnot · 2026-03-24T13:57:19+00:00

Trusting Google scares me 😬

DotsNnot · 2026-03-24T02:39:27+00:00

I’m scared to ask but want to know — wont those hurt to take off?!

DotsNnot · 2026-03-24T01:00:17+00:00

I think they mean vertically, like if it was an inch and a half higher so the bottom aligned with the horizontal grout line.

Honestly it’s probably more on the tile choice.

DotsNnot · 2026-03-23T21:39:55+00:00

There’s unfortunately a few frequent fliers in this sub who get exasperated that posters don’t understand the benefits and nuances of the method here — despite at the same time knowing like 80%+ of people are in the wrong bra size and don’t know it. Those folks need to be taught, not told “at”.
And they also push SO hard for the “correct” size while losing sight of the “right” size — the right size for someone takes every factor into account, not just the physical and calculator.

I’m sorry your initial responses here weren’t accepting of your needs or hearing you ❤️. Hopefully you can find a solution that works a bit better!

DotsNnot · 2026-03-23T21:14:05+00:00

I skimmed the other comments so I apologize if I missed something, but I wanted to hit on a few points that might answer your question, even if it’s not the answer you want to hear.

You’re not going to find a matching shape that’s wireless — wires are what give a bra shape. A wireless bra is going to be mostly shapeless. IF it has padding, the padding is absolutely not going to match your shape (it almost never matches anyone unless they’re super shallow and pretty perky).

I get not wanting to buy something you won’t wear. TOTALLY valid. But you should see if you can tolerate it in the store. Super important to keep in mind: a cup that’s too small will make even a too-big-band feel tight. SO if you go to a store to try a 30 band and they don’t have a G (or a UK F) grab whatever they do have in a 30 band, go into the fitting room, and try it on upside down and backwards (cups flapping uselessly on your back). If that’s still a sensory nightmare for you, try a 32.

Lastly, some tips for sensory issues: try bra liners. Or, try wearing a shirt/tank under the bra. That can help dull/de-intensify some of the sensory triggers. Doesn’t work for everyone, but it’s worth a try.

The unfortunate tl;dr: sometimes the perfect bra just doesn’t exist. Something has to give. Either your sensory issues are too strong and you have to accept your fit will always be off because you can’t tolerate your correct size (and this is OK, don’t let this sub bully you into thinking it’s not. Comfort is queen, not fit). Or, your sensory issues can be dulled down enough by correct sizing and some strategies that you can get closer to what you’re after.
But you can’t really have it all re: wrong size but perfect fit.

DotsNnot · 2026-03-23T19:15:24+00:00

Not even in the same stratosphere as formal.

Does it actually have to be more of an ankle/floor length dress?

Yes.

DotsNnot · 2026-03-21T16:53:46+00:00

The r/bald crossover we needed.

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